


Walk of Life

by EmptyVault



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Action/Adventure, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Pain, Slight Canon Divergence, learning to survive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-06-10 19:32:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 50,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15298494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmptyVault/pseuds/EmptyVault
Summary: After being torn from a happy, comfortable life and dumped unceremoniously into a new and extremely unforgiving world, Autumn realised that she would need some serious assistance if she was to stand any chance of getting her son back.A mouthy mercenary with an attitude problem wasn’t exactly top of her list but hey, she’ll take what she can get.





	1. Prologue

It was dark. She wasn’t quite sure how long she’d been lying face down on the cold, damp floor. Hours? Days? Did it even really matter? She’d cried herself into unconsciousness more times than she could remember but nothing had changed. Nate hadn’t come back, Nate would never come back. The stranger in leather saw to that when he put a bullet in her husbands head and stole their son from his arms.

_Our son, my baby boy. Why would somebody take him?_

She pushed herself weakly onto her knees and stared up into her husbands face. He looked so peaceful, he could have been sleeping but for the congealed blood on his forehead. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she thought about how brave he’d been, how brave she wasn’t.

”What do I do now, Nate?” She asked in between racked sobs. He’d been a soldier, battle tested and resourceful, she was just a lawyer. Her job was to lock up violent murderers, not hunt them down in an act of cold blooded revenge. And Shaun...

”Oh God! It should have been me!” She wailed in a panic, close to throwing herself back down on the floor and crying herself into another frenzied stupor when the distant creaking of frozen metal pipes caught her attention. She flinched at the sudden noise and spun around on her knees to locate the source, which lay beyond the large, heavy looking door of the chamber she was confined in. The door was slightly ajar, almost beckoning her to go and take a look at what was on the other side.

_He’s out there somewhere. He has to be._

She gave her head a firm shake and dug her nails into the heel of her palms as a way of grounding herself, a technique she used all the time before - _No, dont think about that now!_ \- Shaun needed her. What kind of mother would she be if she just sat there wallowing in her grief?

Slowly, she got to her feet, using the console in front of her to support her shaking legs. After making sure that she wasn’t about to tumble back to the floor, she approached Nate’s cryo pod and raised her hand to his cheek, like she’d done so many times before, and for a moment she just looked at him. Memorising every beautiful feature of her husbands face one last time.

”I’ll find who did this, and I’ll get Shaun back. I promise.” She muttered, trying to sound determined despite the way her voice cracked with disuse.

Before she turned away, she slipped Nate’s wedding ring from his finger, turning the band over in her fingers to see the date of their wedding engraved inside, along with her name. She slipped it into her pocket and took a steadying breath, wiping the wetness from her cheeks.

”You can do this. You _have_ to.” She growled hoarsely as she turned and stared at the door in front of her.

_I’m coming, baby._


	2. Of the People

_Oh shit! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!_

The din of gunfire peppering the air and ground around her made her ears ring dizzyingly, it felt like her heart was lodged somewhere in her throat making it difficult to breathe and _holy shit keep running!_

One wrong turn. That was all it took before she found herself face to face with an angry horde of super mutants. She’d wasted no time in getting the hell out of there, likewise they wasted no time in chasing after her on their stubby legs. She thanked her lucky stars (However few they may be) that she was so agile as she vaulted over the bonnet of a rusted car that was streaked with dried blood.

 _That’s you if you don’t hurry the fuck up!_ She told herself as a bullet whizzed by, dangerously close to her head. She turned left down Pinckney Street, or was it Mount Vernon Street? Everything looked the same coated in centuries of radioactive scum and decay, she had no fucking clue where she was right now! There was another left turn, then a right, would these guys _ever_ get tired of chasing her? Eventually she took another turn down a darkened alleyway, thinking, hoping, that she might be able to lose the super mutants down the narrow path, only to find herself in a dead end. The way out blocked by a partially destroyed wire fence.

”Oh _come on!_ ” she cried, tripping over her own feet when she came to a screeching halt. Her head snapped from left to right as she looked for another way out, she was _very_ aware of the distant sound of big, lumbering footsteps not too far behind her.

Finally, she clocked a small gap in the fence, just big enough for someone... a little smaller than herself to squeeze through. Still, it was a better option that ending up one of the many gooey bits inside of a meat bag. So she dived towards the hole, forcing herself through the tiny gap despite the way that the fence creaked and groaned in protest. There was a sharp pain in her wrist, and another in her thigh as the jagged wire cut into her skin, but there was no time to stop and check the damage. She stood up on the other side and immediately set off sprinting again, albeit a little slower now than before.

As she emerged back out onto the street (whatever street it was), a bright light caught her eye: a sign. As she approached it she could make out the word ‘Goodneighbor,’ along with an arrow directing her down the road.

”Well, I hope it lives up to its name.” She panted as she ran towards a tall red door framed by garish lights and flung it wide open.

As soon as she was through, she slammed the door shut again and leaned against it while she caught her breath, clutching at a stitch in her side. After a few minutes the adrenaline started to wear off, and she became very aware that both her arm and leg were throbbing horribly. She brought her wrist to her face to observe the deep cut, there was a lot of blood, same with her thigh. Not a good sign.

”Great, more scars.” She grunted furiously as she rummaged around in her pockets to see if she had a spare bandage to wrap herself up with: she didn’t.

She lowered her now useless arm back to her side and took in her new surroundings at last. There were a couple of shops, set up in the ruins of a partly destroyed house, and to her left stood a familiar old building.

”Huh, Scollay Square.” She mused, stepping away from the door to try and find someone who could provide her with something to clean herself up with. But at that same moment, a scrawny looking drifter stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

”Hold up. First time in Goodneighbor? Can’t go walking around without insurance.” He said in a horrible raspy voice that reminded her of nails on a chalkboard.

 _This is ridiculous!_ All fucking week she’d been chased and attacked by raiders and super mutants alike, and now this miserable bastard was going to try and extort her for money she didn’t even have?!

”You’re the one who’s going to need insurance if you don’t back the fuck off!” She spat in reply, though it might have sounded a little more intimidating had she not still been panting, limping and clutching a bleeding arm. The drifter sneered at her injuries, and tapped his cigarette so that ash fell onto her boot.

_I’m so glad that murder is technically legal now... Oh hell, I’m actually glad that murder is legal now, I’m becoming a psychopath!_

”Aw c’mon, don’t be like that. I think your gonna like what I have on offer. Tell you what, you hand over everything you got in your pockets, or _accidents_ start happening to ya. Big, _bloody_ accidents.” He threatened, stepping closer and drawing himself up to his full height (which, really, wasn’t that much taller than her). She was about to throw caution to the wind and just punch him hard on the jaw when a third person entered the conversation.

”Woah, woah, time out.”

The man approached them both from the shadow of a nearby street, and she had to fight extremely hard not to even gasp in shock.

He looked exactly like one of those feral ghouls she’d bumped into once or twice before, only, he was clearly anything but feral. All of his visible skin was mottled and hard, like old leather that had been worn and twisted countless times over the years. Where his nose should have been there was only a scarce amount of cartilage remaining, he looked like, well... like a corpse! But, perhaps strangest of all was his clothing. He was wearing a ridiculous red frock coat paired with a frilled shirt and a tricorn hat. It reminded her of something out of a romance novel, though there was nothing reminiscent of Mr Darcy in his face. She supposed that was an impolite thought to have about the man who was quite possibly saving her ass, but at least she wasn’t running in the opposite direction flailing her arms above her head in fear, that had to count for something, right?

”Someone comes through the gate the first time, they’re a guest. You lay off that extortion crap. Thought I fuckin’ told you that last week.” The man growled at the drifter, whose bravado appeared to falter momentarily before he decided to grow a backbone.

”What d’you care? She ain’t one of us.” He rebuked, now throwing his height around to the other guy who, in fairness, was kind of short. Though what he lacked in stature he more than made up for with flair, from his crazy getup right down to the way he carried himself. He almost reminded her of a-

”No love for your mayor Finn? I said let her go.”

_The mayor? Well shit, now I’ve heard it all._

But Finn wasn’t about to be frightened off, he twisted his face like a sulky teenager and got right up in the mayors face.

”Your soft, Hancock. You keep letting outsiders walk all over us, one day there’ll be a new mayor.” He hissed. She looked over at the mayor, expecting him to throw a punch or draw the gun at his hip, or... _something_. But instead, he just smiled and took a step towards Finn, his arm extended in a show of brotherly love.

”C’mon, man. This is _me_ we’re talkin’ about. Lemme tell you somethin’.”

She saw the knife before Finn did. The mayor shoved it up between his ribs a couple of times before dropping him to the floor like a sack of shit where he stared down at him coldly, all traces of his smile gone.

”Now why’d you have to go an’ say that, huh? Breakin’ my heart over here.” He sighed as he wiped the blade on a cloth, while Finn clutched at his side feebly, blood pooling around him as he choked on his final breath.

The mayor now turned his attention to her, and she took a tentative step back, keeping a close eye on where his hands were, particularly the hand that was still wrapped around the knife. After all, she didn’t know this guy, what’s to say he wasn’t just out to steal Finn’s pay day?

He saw her obvious unease, and sheathed his blade in the waistband of his jeans before straightening his coat and fixing her with a concerned look.

”You alright, sister?”

She blinked a couple of times, trying to decide whether this was a guy she wanted to be standing over a dead body having a friendly chat with. But he did just save her from a fight that, in her current state, she definitely couldn’t have won, and she wasn’t leaving this place until her injuries were looked at.

”I... yeah, thanks. I appreciate what you-“

”Ah, don’t worry about it. Ol’ Finn’s been askin’ for it for weeks. Goodneighbor’s of the people, for the people. Everyone’s welcome here. Y’feel me?”

 _”He even sounds like a politician.”_ She thought to herself as she nodded once in response. She readjusted her grip on her arm, realising as she did that blood had been dripping silently from her fingertips onto Finn’s shitty jacket, merging with the blood that was already staining the faded leather. The whole scene made for a very gruesome spectacle and the mayor frowned down at her injuries.

”What happened?”

”Super mutants.” Was all she said. The idea of admitting that she’d spent at least twenty five minutes running away scared from those green bastards sent what little blood was left in her rushing to her cheeks. “Look, thank you very much for your help Mr Mayor, if you could just point me in the direction of a doctor or someone who can sell me some medical supplies I’ll be on my way.” She said, keen to end the conversation before she either passed out or threw up.

The mayor shot her a lopsided grin and chuckled roughly. It was a warm sound, weather beaten and calming, it reminded her a bit of her grandfathers gravelly voice. “Call me Hancock. An’ we don’t have a doctor here I’m afraid, but I’ve patched up more than my share of cuts, tears and bullet holes over the years. Follow me.”

Before she could even try to protest, he turned and started walking towards the old State House. Not wanting to appear rude, she followed.

It wasn’t so much of a wreck inside, most of the building appeared to have been looted of anything valuable a long time ago, and in its place was, well, a lot of drugs. Not that she was one to judge, she’d had a bit of a rebellious phase in her teenage years.

 _Though I never murdered a guy in the middle of the street for a complete stranger._ She thought as she followed her unlikely saviour up the spiral staircase. 

”So, what’s a pretty thing like you doin’ out in the wastes all by yourself?” Hancock quizzed upon entering what looked like a drug den-come-office space. He gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa and started rummaging around the cupboards for a medkit, picking his way around used syringes and jet inhalers as he went.

”I’m looking for someone. You haven’t by chance seen a baby boy around here recently, have you?” She asked hopefully as he perched himself on the edge of the sofa next to her and took her arm. She grimaced as he started wiping it with an antiseptic soaked rag and injected her with a stimpak. He shook his head sadly.

”Goodneighbor’s not exactly what I’d call a ‘kid-friendly’ town, sorry. He your son?”

She sighed dejectedly and slumped against the cushions. ”Yeah, and I’m the useless fucking mom that can’t go more than five minutes without getting myself into some ‘life or death’ situation. Don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to look after him when I can barely look after myself.” She muttered angrily, watching as Hancock began wrapping up her arm with a clean bandage. His is hands were surprisingly soft and gentle against her skin and she felt kind of bad for thinking so negatively of him at first, though she couldn’t exactly be blamed for that. A large percentage of the people she’d come into contact with since leaving the vault had been anything but pleasant, most of them trying to either kill her or rape her.

 _Sometimes both._ She reminded herself with a shudder, remembering that one guy she tried to ask directions from just outside of Cambridge. She’d been lucky to get away from that one with only a bruised cheek, the other guy, well, his broken arm should serve as a deterrent in future.

”I get where you’re comin’ from.” Hancock said eventually, now turning his attention to the considerably less serious cut on her leg. “The Commonwealth is a dangerous place at the best of times, going it alone isn’t recommended, even for vets. You ever thought about hiring someone to watch your back?”

She scoffed and shook her head in response. “Too many ‘what ifs.’ What if they screw me over? What if I fuck up and get them killed? I can’t risk someone else’s life for my own problems. Also, they might be a total asshole and then I’d have to fire them.” She answered dryly, hissing quietly through her teeth as the sting of antiseptic rushed over her thigh. Hancock shot her an apologetic look and then cocked his head to one side, grinning faintly.

”Cautious. Heh, I like that. Well, if it’s being screwed over you’re concerned about, then that’s why you pay good money. I happen to know a guy, best shot around, wouldn’t dream of fuckin’ over a contract. I won’t lie, he’s got a bit of an attitude problem, but he’s a good kid. Besides, I get the feelin’ you could handle him.” He grinned, setting aside the stimpak he’d just injected into her leg.

”Well, that’s the other problem. I haven’t got a lot of money. I doubt I could pay this guy what he’s asking, especially if he’s as good as you say.” She replied dismally. Some assistance _would_ be useful out there, but not if said assistance was going to rip her eyes out (and she wasn’t entirely sure whether she meant that metaphorically or literally).

Hancock held up a gnarled finger and got back to his feet, crossing the room to where a fine, if a little battered, oak desk sat. He rummaged through the drawers for a moment before producing a large pouch and tossing it over to her. She looked inside and her mouth fell open: it was full to the brim with caps.

”That oughta cover it.”

She gaped at the pouch in her hands, her voice seemed to have abandoned ship. They’d known each other for all of thirty minutes and here was Hancock just handing over a sackful of caps. Why?

_‘Why’ indeed?_

”Is this a joke?” She asked as soon as her voice returned. “I mean, why would you just _give_ me all this money? Am I expected to give you something in return?” She was fully ready to drop the sack on the table and walk the hell out of there at a second’s notice if she had to. Hancock, however, merely shook his head and leaned against the desk with his arms folded across his chest.

”Nah, it’s nothin’ like that. I just... I’ve got a good feeling about you. Mom out lookin’ for her kid, doesn’t wanna see other people hurt on account o’her, you’re one of the good ones, I can tell. An’ _maybe_ I’ve also got a bit of a soft spot for a pretty woman in need.” He admitted with a wolfish grin, prompting her cheeks to burn with embarrassment, something she hadn’t thought her body still capable of. Not that it bothered her, she’d been flirted with her fair share of times in the past and would usually retort with a playful quip of her own, but this time it just felt... wrong. Not because of how Hancock looked, but because she’d been a widow for all of two seconds and any kind of flirtatious banter with another man still made her feel kind of unfaithful.

”‘Course,” Hancock started, drawing her wandering attention back to the present. “If you’re lookin’ for work on the side I’ve got a job you might be interested in.”

She still wasn’t sure whether she completely trusted this man. He’d swooped in and saved her from a sticky situation, wrapped her injuries up and then gifted her quite an amount of money, all for nothing! She kept hearing in her head the words her father would say whenever she came to him for advice (which was regularly): _”Sweetie, if something seems too good to be true, that’s usually because it is.”_

Still, Hancock was right about one thing: she needed help out there if she was ever going to find Shaun.

She stood and tested her weight on her newly fixed leg before straightening up and turning to him with a shrug that said ‘Fuck it, why not?’

“What’s this job?”

Hancock chuckled that rough laugh again and shook his head. “Go grab that hired gun first, then we’ll talk. He sits in the back room of the Third Rail. Name’s MacCready.”

She nodded her head and turned to leave, but Hancock stopped her before she could go far.

”Hold up, I never did catch your name.”

She breathed a faint laugh through her nose. Before the war she would have considered herself rude for not introducing herself sooner. These days, however, introductions just seemed so trivial.

”It’s Autumn.”


	3. Looking for a friend

“No.”

”Ah c’mon, just one more? Who’s gonna know?”

”I said _’no’_ , not until you pay your tab. Now clear off before I ‘ave Ham toss you out.”

Grumbling under his breath at the _“rusted old limey”_ , MacCready pushed himself away from the bar and skulked back to his chair in the VIP lounge of the Third Rail. As usual, it was empty. Mayor Hancock had generously granted him use of the space while he was in town so that he could conduct his business but, as was evident by his lack of drinking caps, business wasn’t exactly booming. As it turns out, people aren’t so keen to hire a mercenary who has a history of running with the Gunners. Who would have thought that a town known for its misfits and troublemakers would be so goddamn judgemental?

_I mean, it’s not like I was there long anyway, not like I was ever really... one of them._

Of course, people wouldn’t need to know about that particular black mark on his resume if said gang hadn’t been hunting him throughout the Commonwealth ever since he left, harassing and threatening him. They’d yet to track him to Goodneighbor, but unfortunately word travels fast and most people had been avoiding him like a radioactive mole rat, leaving him jobless and pretty much capless.

He threw himself down in his chair and made to pick up the bottle on the table next to him before he remembered that it was empty. Tutting loudly, he swatted it off the table in anger, causing it to smash on the floor. His eyes flickered to the door, where he half expected Charlie to come hovering over to scold him for making a mess, back down to the broken glass, he suddenly found himself wondering if he could have shaken a few more dregs from the bottom of the bottle before he broke it.

 _Dammit!_ He needed caps, badly, and not just for another bottle of bad rum. There were people who depended on him, at this point, he would shovel Brahmin shit if it meant-

”Well, can’t say I’m surprised to find you in a dump like this, MacCready.”

He closed his eyes and breathed steadily through his nose, his frustration reaching breaking point.

_Speaking of Brahmin shit._

”I was wondering how long it would take your bloodhounds to track me down, Winlock. It’s been almost three months, don’t tell me you’re getting rusty.” He drawled as two men entered the room, the taller one loitering in the doorway while the other stood in the middle of the room, flexing his muscles menacingly.

”Should we take this outside?” He suggested, rising to his feet, not that it made much difference. MacCready wasn’t exactly short, but compared to both Winlock and Barnes he may as well have been a small child.

”It ain’t like that. I’m just here to deliver a message.” Winlock replied with a smirk, clearly satisfied at having put MacCready on edge.

”Incase you forgot, I left the Gunners for good.”

”Yeah, I heard. But you’re still taking jobs in the Commonwealth. That isn’t gonna work for us-”

MacCready had stopped paying attention already, he’d heard this speech enough times to know it off by heart. Instead, his eye had gone to the door which Barnes had already lazily abandoned in favour of throwing himself down on one of the less ruined sofas, and in his place was a woman. She was dressed in a long brown trench coat with torn jeans and knee high boots and was leaning against the wall with her arms folded, watching Winlock ramble on with mild curiosity. A grey hood masked most of her facial features, but she had a pip-boy strapped to her arm that looked comically big around her slim wrist, and MacCready couldn’t help but ask himself:

 _What the heck is a vault dweller doing hanging around a seedy little bar like this?_

”Hey! You listening?” Barked Winlock. MacCready tore his eyes away from the woman and back to the matter at hand. His patience now officially run out.

”No Winlock, I wasn’t listening, and I don’t take orders from you. Not anymore. So, why don’t you take your girlfriend and walk out of here while you still can?”

Barnes jumped to his feet with a cry of outrage. “What?! Winlock, tell me we don’t have to listen to this shit!” He raged, reaching for the gun at his hip. MacCready was faster however, and got his hand on his own pistol far quicker, but he didn’t draw it... yet. The last thing he wanted was to spit in the face of Hancock’s generosity and start a shootout in his town, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t defend himself if need be.

”Enough!” Winlock growled, stepping between the two of them. “Look MacCready, the only reason we haven’t filled your body full of bullets is that we don’t want a war with Goodneighbor. See, we respect other people’s boundaries, we know how to play the game. It’s something _you_ never learned.”

MacCready knew that he was referring to the time shortly before he left the Gunners when he shot Parker in the foot for calling him ‘scrawny.’ The memory still made him laugh now and he found himself smirking defiantly into Winlock’s face.

“Glad to have disappointed you.”

”You can play the tough guy all you want, but if we hear you’re still operating in Gunner territory, all bets are off. You got that?” Winlock threatened, staring down MacCready, who responded by throwing himself nonchalantly back into his empty chair.

”You finished?”

Winlock and Barnes shot him one last menacing glare before turning to leave. The woman was still stood by the doorway, looking totally unperturbed by everything she’d just witnessed, though she tensed up considerably and wrinkled her nose a little when Barnes stopped in front of her, his eyes roving hungrily over her body.

”Well, _hello_ beautiful! You lookin’ for a-“

”No.” she replied shortly, waving a hand in his face and turning her head away from him. Barnes scoffed at her and and bared his teeth, unhappy with being shot down so abruptly.

”Fuck, woman. You got your period or somethin’?” He spat.

MacCready expected the woman to throw a punch at that comment, it’s what he would have done if someone spoke to him like that... and if he were a woman. But then, he wasn’t known for having a very good temperament. The bullet hole in Parker’s foot was testament to that.

Instead, she smiled sweetly up at Barnes, batting her eyes innocently.

”Oh, honey. If I had to bleed to find you annoying, I’d die from anemia.”

MacCready tried to hide his laughter in a cough, prompting the woman to glance briefly in his direction before returning her attention to Barnes, who looked ready to lash out, until Winlock shouted his name from somewhere in the bar. Barnes scowled down at her one last time before storming out of the room, muttering unintelligibly the whole time.

She watched them go for a moment with a kind of satisfied smirk before walking casually into the middle of the room, looking at him interestedly.

“So, you’re MacCready?”

Now that she’d come closer, the light that was cast over her face highlighted the features that were hidden when she was hovering by the door and MacCready found himself staring unapologetically. She was ridiculously pale, typical of a vault dweller _(They’re like fucking vampires the way they never go out in the sun.)_ , and she had a nasty looking bruise on her cheek. But that did little to mar the appearance of her sharp jaw, perfectly full lips; the corners of which were still turned upwards, or her deep green eyes that complimented her paleness so well. He could understand why she kept herself hidden under that hood.

_What a lot of people would do to someone that looked like her..._

MacCready relaxed back into his chair now that the threat had passed and made to grab his bottle before remembering that a: it was empty, and b: he’d knocked it to the floor.

”Look lady, if you’re preaching about the Atom or looking for a friend, you’ve got the wrong guy. If you need a hired gun... then maybe we can talk.” He replied coolly. After the day he’d had, he was in no mood to entertain some lost little vault dweller, that was Hancock’s job.

But instead of leaving, she raised an eyebrow and leaned against the wall opposite him with her arms folded defiantly. “Do you start every conversation with that _witty_ opening line, or am I just special?”

MacCready raised his brows at her and huffed out an amused breath.

_Busted. She’s not as stupid as that ridiculous metal bracelet would suggest._

”As it happens, I _do_ need an extra gun. Though, sounds to me like you might be going out of business.” She went on, cocking her head in the direction of the door that Winlock and Barnes had just left from, her mouth turning up in one corner to form a small, lopsided grin.

”Are you kidding me? I’m not gonna let a couple of Gunner rejects stand between me and a solid pay day!” He exclaimed in anger, more to himself than to her. This apparently amused the woman who chuckled under her breath at his outburst and unfolded her arms to start digging through the pocket of her duster.

”Relax, I’m just messing with you. I have it on good authority that you’re the best person to hire if I want another gun at my back that won’t screw me over, so that’s why I’m here.” She explained, now removing a box of cigarettes from the pocket and offering him one, which he took with a nod of gratitude.

”I see. Well you heard right, but what about you?” He asked suspiciously as he rummaged through his own pockets for a lighter. “How do I know I won’t end up with a bullet in my back?”

Her amused smile only grew as their conversation wore on, MacCready was starting to find it kind of irksome _(Who the heck smiles that much?!)_ She took a long, deep drag of her cigarette, before looking him dead in the eyes and saying: “You don’t. You’re just gonna have to trust me. Failing that, you can trust my caps.”

At that, she removed her bag from her shoulder and began rifling through it, producing a large leather pouch which she tossed at MacCready. He caught it in both hands and felt that it was full to the brim with caps.

”That’s enough, right?” She asked as he opened the pouch and looked at its contents. For once, MacCready was at a loss for words. He’d waited weeks for even the faintest whiff of a contract and now one just saunters over and throws a pile of caps at him without any bartering whatsoever. There was an old saying he’d heard a long time ago that if something seemed too good to be true, it usually was.

”What’s the catch here? No contract agreement ever goes this easily, and I’ve been doing this for a while. You don’t seem the slightest bit concerned that the guy you’re hiring was just being threatened five minutes ago and, not that I’m complaining, but you just threw me a pretty large sum of caps without even trying to negotiate a better deal. So you’re either really stupid, or really desperate. Which is it?”

She looked down at the floor, paying extra attention to the last dregs of her cigarette and kicking at the wall behind her with the heel of her boot, before sighing and shrugging her shoulders. “Ok, the thing is, I’m not much good with a gun. Terrible, really. So I need someone who _is_ to watch my back while I... well, while I get some stuff done. Look, the reason why doesn’t matter, I’m paying you a reasonable sum upfront, isn’t that all you mercenaries care about?”

He pondered her words for a moment, observing her face carefully. On closer inspection, she looked like she’d been through hell. There were dark circles under her eyes, her cheeks were sunken and as well as the bruising on her face, both her right arm and leg were freshly wrapped up. She looked like all that was holding her together was sheer determination and stubbornness.

But the expression in her eyes gave him pause for thought, there was a fire there that he sure as hell hadn’t come across in any other vault dweller he’d met before. There was more to this woman than she was letting on, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was. And he _had_ just been complaining about how broke he was, how bad could this job really be?

_Damn it. I’d better not come to regret this._

MacCready pocketed the caps she passed him and stood up, discarding his cigarette in the nearby ashtray. “Well, beats sitting around here drinking and watching the paint flake off the walls. You just bought yourself an extra gun.”

Her smile returned once more, a stunning flash of perfectly white teeth, and she crossed the room to hold out a hand for him to shake. “It’s a deal, then.”

”So, what should I call my new boss?” MacCready asked while he turned to grab his bag from the floor, flicking off a piece of broken bottle from it as he did.

She pulled a face at the word ‘boss,’ and shouldered her own bag. “Autumn will do. Follow me, Hancock has a job for us.”

MacCready’s brow furrowed in suspicion as he followed her back out through the bar. “What kind of job exactly?”

”Beats me, we’ll find out when we get there.” She shrugged, leading the way up the stairs and pulling her hood further over her head as they stepped outside. It had started raining, and the moment he felt a drop of water hit his cheek he scowled.

”Man, I hate the rain.”

Autumn chuckled and said something along the lines of ”I can’t believe people still complain about the weather.” But before he could ask her to repeat herself, she took off towards the State House, limping slightly on her injured leg as she rounded the corner.

_Jeez, someone’s in a hurry._

Hancock was lounging on the sofa in his office when they entered, huffing away on a jet inhaler and filling the whole room with sweet-metallic smelling vapours. He looked up when they approached and his ruined face broke into an amused grin.

”MacCready! I see you’ve got yourself a new employer over here.” He said by way of greeting, nodding towards Autumn who threw herself down on the opposite sofa and busied herself lighting another cigarette.

”Uh, yeah. I needed work and she was offering.” He replied warily, there was something in Hancock’s grin that he knew all too well, something that bothered him: That smarmy jackass was up to something.

”Speaking of jobs, what is it you need from us?” Piped up Autumn, removing her hood and shaking her hair out from under it. It fell half way down her back and was a stunning shade of auburn that made her ashen skin look more like porcelain. He managed to catch himself staring at her before she did and swiftly turned his attention back to Hancock, scolding himself for becoming distracted.

_This better not become a regular occurrence with this woman._

”Simple, I need a little reconnaissance work done on a place called Pickman Gallery. Either of you heard of it?”

Autumn shook her head, but MacCready’s interest was piqued.

”I know of the place. No one ever goes near it though. Raider territory, right?”

”Exactly,” Confirmed Hancock. “But they’ve been quiet lately. Like, uncomfortable, post-coitus quiet? I want you two to snoop it out, and give me the word.”

Autumn nodded and wafted away the mouthful of cigarette smoke she’d just blown. “Sure, we can do that, anything else you can tell us?”

”Nothin’. That’s why I’m paying you to go out there.”

She hummed in response and hopped to her feet. “Fine. I just need to pick up a couple of things, then we can head straight there.” She said, turning to MacCready who was getting to his feet when Hancock held out a hand.

”Hold on a sec. I wanna have a little chat with MacCready here, you go on ahead, sunshine. I won’t keep him long.” Hancock said with a wink that made her cheeks flush with colour, before she walked out with a vague wave and a mumbled farewell to the pair of them. MacCready waited until he was certain she was out of earshot before he rounded on Hancock.

”Alright, what’s your game here?” He accused.

Hancock put a gnarled hand over his chest, his black eyes wide in mock surprise. “Game? I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” 

”Don’t give me that crap, I’m not stupid. You told her to go hire me, didn’t you?”

”Might have come up during a conversation.” He admitted innocently. He gave MacCready a moment to groan irritably at him before rolling his eyes.

”C’mon man! You haven’t had any work for weeks, you refuse to mingle with the town, and then along comes this beautiful young woman, _all alone_ , who openly admits that she needs someone to watch her back out there. Guy couldn’t help but think th-“

”Think _what_ exactly? You trying to play matchmaker now? She’s just openly admitted to me that she can barely handle a gun, yet you’re sending us into raider territory anyway? Great idea of a first date! What if something happens and she winds up dead?”

”You won’t let that happen.”

”Dammit Hancock, I’m not a babysitter! I’m a mercenary!”

He hadn’t realised he’d been raising his voice until he saw one of the neighbourhood watch poke his head around the door, only to be waved away by Hancock who now stared harshly at MacCready, angrily blowing smoke through what remained of his nose.

_Fuck, I forgot how scary this guy can be sometimes._

”Look, you can’t stay cooped up down in that bar forever. I know all about your little visit from the Gunners, and I know that most of the folks in this town want nothin’ to do with you because of all that crap,” He jabbed a finger towards the door that Autumn had left from moments ago. “That woman is completely alone and vulnerable. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to take a close look at the state of her to see how desperately she needs help.”

MacCready sighed petulantly and threw his head back against the cushion of the sofa. He would never admit it, of course, but he agreed with Hancock to some degree. He knew he couldn’t keep pushing people away forever (despite how well it had worked for him so far) and as much as he wanted to pretend otherwise, he didn’t much like the idea of letting this woman go running off to Pickman Gallery, or anywhere else for that matter, on her own.

 _And I_ do _need the caps._ He reminded himself once again.

Hancock seemed to sense his inner turmoil, because that shit eating grin returned to his face and he took another deep huff of jet, chuckling to himself as smoke poured from his mouth.

”Just get the hell outta here for a couple o’weeks, get to know your new boss. She may not be any good with a gun, but I’m sure she’ll find other ways to surprise you.”

MacCready gave Hancock a disgruntled nod as he stood up and left the room, thinking back to the way that Autumn had calmly shot down Barnes’ advances without a moment’s hesitation. His mouth turning upward slightly as he remembered her witty retorts.

_Well, I’m not exactly brimming with confidence, but I guess I am a little intrigued to see what else this new boss of mine can do._


	4. A small disagreement

They walked in complete silence for the first fifteen minutes of their journey over to Pickman Gallery as the rain continued to fall. Not quite enough to soak them through, but enough to numb her fingers and toes and cause her jeans to start chafing her inner thighs. It was annoying and uncomfortable, but Autumn found herself grinning childishly at the sensation despite herself.

_End of the fucking world and thigh chafing is still an issue. Figures._

But silly pre-war problems aside, Autumn was painfully aware of the scowl on MacCready’s face that he’d had since he met up with her by the gates of Goodneighbor, and was positive that she’d heard raised voices coming from inside the State House while she’d been waiting outside for him. Whatever he and Hancock had been talking about (and she had a sneaking suspicion that _she_ was the subject matter), MacCready hadn’t liked it one bit. But she thought better of asking him what had gone on inside.

 _This guy definitely looks like the private type._ She thought to herself as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was younger than she’d imagined, early twenties maybe? He wore an old tan duster that was missing a sleeve, and faded blue jeans tucked into muddy combat boots. He didn’t exactly look like the type of guy that could keep her safe from the dangers of the Commonwealth, but she supposed it was better than having no one at her back at all.

_At least he’s easy on the eyes._

She blushed suddenly, and gave her head a shake, banishing the unbidden thoughts that had come to her, before racking her brain to try and think of something interesting to talk about with MacCready to break the unbearable silence. The weather? _Nah. He already said that he hates the rain._ Those two guys from the bar? _Yeah, great idea, Autumn. “So, MacCready. Why were those two guys threatening to murder you in cold blood?”_ What the hell did people even talk about these days anyway, their latest kill and the junk they pulled up from the wreckage of an old convenience store? And what the hell did you talk about with a guy you’d barely known for an hour who also happened to be two hundred years your junior?

She sighed quietly and turned to face him.

_’Basic pre-war conversation 101’ it is, then._

”So, MacCready. Tell me about yourself.”

He tilted his head slightly to look at her, wiping rainwater from the tip of his nose. “About me?”

”Sure, if we’re going to be working together for a while it makes sense to know a little bit about each other, right?” She smiled, trying her best to be as friendly as humanly possible. Although Hancock had assured her that MacCready would never betray a contract, she still didn’t completely trust him, best to give him as little reason to turn on her as possible.

MacCready turned his head back to the road in front of him, but his eyes glanced down in thought. “Well, uh, what do you wanna know?” He asked uncertainly.

Autumn pondered this question for a moment, before settling with the basics. “Where did you grow up? Were you born in The Commonwealth?”

That got a small smile out of him, which felt like finding a pot of gold at the end of the nuclear rainbow. “Nah, I wasn’t born here. I grew up in the Capital Wasteland.”

”The Capital? You mean Washington?” Autumn clarified as MacCready led her down a narrow side street and out onto another street that two hundred years ago she might have recognised, when the buildings still stood and there wasn’t an upturned vehicle every few yards down the road.

MacCready raised a quizzical brow at her. “Uh, yeah. No one really calls it that, though. I’ve only ever heard pre-war ghouls use that name before.”

”Oh...”

_That’s right, he doesn’t know he’s travelling with a damn relic!_

”W-what was it like growing up there?” She asked, trying to save face. Luckily, MacCready didn’t seem entirely bothered about her slip up, and continued on.

”Dark, for the most part. Most of my childhood was spent living in a cave with a bunch of other kids, a place called Little Lamplight.”

He then spent the next ten minutes going on in great detail about this vast underground settlement run entirely by children, their rules and regulations, and how MacCready was even the mayor for a couple of years. His face lit up as he talked about it, something that Autumn found kind of sweet and endearing, but also kind of upsetting. While he made it sound like he’d had the best possible childhood imaginable (in fairness, she would have loved the idea of growing up in a cave without any adults when she was little), Autumn couldn’t help but find it sad that a bunch of kids had lost faith in the adults so much that they decided living alone was a better option. It made her think of Shaun, where was her baby now? Had he been dropped off in a cave somewhere, thinking that his parents had abandoned him? That they didn’t love him?

”So, what’s it like growing up in a vault?” Asked MacCready, pulling her out of her quickly spiralling thoughts before the tears that stung her eyes threatened to fall.

”Huh?” She grunted, looking up at him. Thankfully, if he noticed the momentary anguish in her face, he chose to ignore it.

”Your pip-boy, I assumed you came from a vault. What’s it like living in one of those things? Why’d you leave?” He continued, nodding to the pip-boy on her wrist that she’d been wearing everywhere she went lately.

 _Crap!_ She hadn’t been prepared for a curveball like this so soon, what should she say? What _could_ she say?

_Well, MacCready. The thing is, I have no fucking clue what it’s like to live inside a vault because for the last two hundred years I was locked up in a fucking ice box, and when I woke up everyone was dead!_

”Well, uh-“

Autumn was spared from having to form a proper response by the sound of distant gunfire coming from down the street. They both ducked their heads instinctively and MacCready ushered her into a nearby alleyway, drawing his rifle from his back as he did. She followed suit and unholstered her pistol, looking to him for guidance. He glanced from the gun in her hands, to the uneasy expression on her face.

”Ok. When you told me earlier that you weren’t much good with a gun... what exactly _can_ you do?”

”I can point and shoot, whether I hit something or not, however, is anybody’s guess.” She answered dryly. She wasn’t going to be embarrassed by her lack of shooting prowess. That was what he was there for.

MacCready sighed and removed his hat to run his fingers through his ashy brown hair in thought, his expression a mixture of frustration and... nope, it was definitely all frustration.

”Alright, it’s a start, I guess. But let me at least check your stance before we go any further,” He insisted, standing up straight and pulling her up with him. “Show me how you aim.”

She nodded and raised her gun to the wall at the far side of the alley. Immediately, MacCready shook his head.

”No. What’re you-? You’re gonna give yourself a black eye holding it like that. You’re not prepared for the recoil. Here, let me show you.”

He set to work repositioning her hands and arms, lowering her shoulders and telling her where to place her feet, muttering incoherently all the while.

”Line up the sights like this, make sure these two bars are even, and when you aim, keep both eyes open. You’ll see way better than if you close one. Always pull the trigger on the outward breath, and keep a strong stance like this. Got it?”

”I fucking hope so.” She remarked.

”Do you have any other weapons on you?” He asked, as though she might pull a goddamn rocket launcher out of her bag.

”I have a knife in my boot.” Autumn replied, feeling quite please with herself at the fact that she was at least a little bit prepared. MacCready, however, was less impressed.

”Why would you keep it there? What if you’re running and you need it? What if someone has you pinned down by the throat? Keep it in your belt. It’s _way_ more accessible.”

”I... yeah, that makes sense.” She mumbled, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks as she reached into her boot and removed the knife she’d hidden away there.

Once he was satisfied that she was ready (Or, as ready as anyone could be after a five minute lesson in _’How to hold your gun and not blow your arm off’_ ), MacCready peered around the corner in the direction of the gunfire and pointed down the street to one building in particular.

”That’s Pickman Gallery. Those shots weren’t aimed at us, but I think it’s safe to assume that we won’t be the only ones in there. Follow my lead and remember what I taught you.”

 _Easy for you to say._ She thought to herself, already forgetting what it was he said about an outward breath.

He set off down the street, keeping close to the wall with his rifle in his arms. Autumn did her best to mirror his movements, stepping where he stood and crouching low when he did. He was surprisingly light on his feet and made little noise as they advanced towards the old town house.

”I don’t trust going through the front door, we’ll go around the back, see if there’s another way in.” He murmured as they approached the building. Autumn’s nerves chewed at her stomach as deep inside the decrepit old house, gunfire rang out in regular bursts. She’d been out of the vault for barely three months, and in that time she hadn’t seen much of this new world or its inhabitants. She had, however, had several run-ins with raiders. Each time only barely managing to escape with her life. She remembered her first kill being a raider. How her stomach had turned violently when the bullet hit his neck (after half a dozen missed shots) and how she’d sat in an old abandoned shack by the side of the road, waiting out the panic attack that followed, thinking of Nate the whole time. He’d killed people before when he was away at war, had he freaked out like this when he took his first life?

”Here,” MacCready muttered, pulling her once again out of her own head as he reached for the handle of the back door. But when he turned it, it wouldn’t budge. “Fu- damn, it’s locked. Might be that we have to go through the front door after all.”

Autumn observed the rusted lock on the door and was struck with a sudden idea. Something that she hadn’t tried since she was a teenager.

”Step aside, I’ve got this.” She demanded, ushering him out of the way while she crouched down by the lock and pulled a bobby pin from her pocket.

”What’re you-?”

”Shh!” She hissed, straining to hear the lock click as she inserted the bobby pin and began twisting it slowly. This way a little, then the other. After a minute or so, she felt the lock give and reached up to turn the handle, swinging the door wide open. She looked up at MacCready’s stunned face with a huge grin plastered on her own.

”Well, that was... kind of cool.” He admitted, a smile ghosting his face, before signalling for her to follow him and leading the way into the house.

Inside it was dark and chaotic. There was broken furniture scattered everywhere, rotten food and the remnants of a long lost life, destroyed in the war. Autumn kind of felt like she was trespassing as she stood on an already broken photo frame, the image inside faded beyond recognition. She wondered what kind of family used to live here, then gave her head a firm shake before the thought could begin to upset her.

_No use in thinking about a dead family you didn’t even know, Autumn. You have enough heartache to deal with as it is._

They found no one alive in any of the rooms as they explored the house, no one hiding around the corner waiting to blow their brains out. But what they found instead was far worse.

”Oh my God.” She breathed with a hand over her mouth. They’d entered what looked like the old kitchen and found several bodies, horribly mutilated and positioned in macabre and disturbing poses on tables and against the walls. Each of their faces was twisted in an expression of pure horror, bug-eyed and mouths wide open in a silent scream. Autumn liked to think that she had a strong stomach, but this was pushing it.

”Damn, come take a look at this.” MacCready called from the next room, she followed him through the door and immediately wished she hadn’t.

They were standing in a room chock-full of paintings, every one of them a glaring, sickly shade of red and depicting a screaming face. Autumn pursed her lips and looked away, her eyes landing instead on the tins of red ‘paint’ that were sat in the corner. That was about enough to make her stomach expel what little contents it had.

“Who the fuck would do this?” She asked, voice quavering slightly as she tried so hard not to throw up.

MacCready glanced over at her. He looked exactly like she felt, pale faced and deep lines of concern stretched across his brow. He opened his mouth to reply, but his voice was cut off by more gunfire, coming from below.

”The basement.” He muttered, making a beeline for the one door they hadn’t yet gone through. Autumn followed close behind, keeping a firm grip on her pistol and an even firmer grip on her nerve as they descended the stairs into the dimly lit basement. They were immediately greeted by a lone raider, who MacCready took out without so much as a second thought. The poor bastard didn’t even have a chance to call for backup before his head snapped back and he fell down dead.

”Holy shit! That was... also kind of cool.” Autumn echoed, to which MacCready replied with a cocksure grin.

”There’s a reason I charge so much for my services, and you’re looking at it.” He boasted arrogantly, nodding to the dead raider as they stepped over his corpse and into a long, winding tunnel that led away from Pickman Gallery. They snuck through as quickly and quietly as they could, encountering little opposition along the way. Well, nothing that MacCready couldn’t handle anyway.

”Just what the heck is all this?” He muttered peevishly as they journeyed deeper into the tunnels. It looked like someone had blasted these corridors into existence some time ago, as a way of escaping perhaps? She could see why anyone would want to escape from that house of horrors and grimaced when her stomach lurched as she thought about what they’d seen upstairs.

_I’m gonna be having nightmares for weeks thanks to this place! Hancock better be paying some good fucking money for this job!_

Eventually, and after a lot of wondering aimlessly through the narrow tunnels, they found themselves just outside of a small chamber, where a surviving group of raiders had cornered a tall man dressed in a rather fine suit. He was stood with his back to the wall, guns aimed at him from all angles, whatever he’d done to piss off these raiders (she was pretty sure it had something to do with the ‘art gallery’ upstairs), it sure had come back to bite him in the ass. Yet despite such overwhelming odds against him, he seemed perfectly at ease. His hands were politely clasped together in front of him and there was a smile across his face that was one part warm and friendly and three parts eerie and malicious. His eyes flickered in their direction for a moment and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand on end as she met his gaze, in that moment she felt as though he was far more of a threat than any of the raiders surrounding him.

MacCready decided to waste no time in dispatching the raiders, and opened fire on the group, sending them scurrying for cover like rats and filling the room with bright flashes and noise. Once they started returning fire, however, it became clear that MacCready wouldn’t be able to handle them all on his own, therefore, Autumn had no choice but to put her newly acquired shooting skills to the test.

_Let’s hope that you’re a good teacher, MacCready._

Her first couple of shots missed by a mile, hitting the wall, then a protruding pipe. But her third shot struck true, hitting one of the raiders squarely in the chest and dropping her to the floor where she moved no more. Autumn positively beamed with joy _(I’m only happy because it’s one less raider likely to kill us, I swear!)_ and raised her gun to where another lone raider was peering around a large stalagmite, wondering whether she could hit him from this distance when a large hand grabbed the back of her head.

Everything seemed to happen so fast from there. She yelped in fright and dropped her gun as the raider pulled her towards him and wrapped an arm around her chest. Switching into survival mode, she used what little space she had to elbow her attacker as hard as she could in the stomach. He jerked in shock and released her, doubling over winded and allowing her to spin around and drive her knee into his face once, twice, three times. He fell to the floor, howling and clutching a bloody nose. Autumn didn’t give him a chance to recover. She scrambled for her pistol and fired three shots simultaneously into his head without checking her sights, stance or breathing, putting an end to the miserable bastards life.

She wasn’t sure how long she stared down at his lifeless body before she realised that the echoes of gunfire had ceased. Long enough for the shaking in her legs to stop, at least. She turned back around to face MacCready who was gawking at the dead raider, his mouth hanging open.

”Holy cr- ok, where the heck did you learn all of... _that?_ ” He gestured wildly to both Autumn and the raider as she glanced down a little sheepishly.

“I uh, I did some self defence training a while ago. I may not be much use with a gun, but I can still lay a guy out if I have to.” She said a little darkly, watching the blood pool around his head.

”Damn, I can believe it.” He muttered incredulously. “You alright?”

She rubbed the spot at the back of her head where the raider had grabbed her, ripping her hood off. She was surprised that she didn’t have a bald spot with how rough his grip had been.

”I’ll live.”

A light cough distracted them from the dead raider, and they turned their heads to see the man who had been cornered by the raiders, stood in the exact same spot he’d been in when they entered the chamber. He was observing the two of them, clapping his hands together in admiration.

”Well, that really was something, thank you for the assist.” He chimed, starting to walk towards them. They both immediately took a step back, weapons raised, and he stopped in his tracks, smile faltering for a brief second.

”Who the fuck are you? And why did those raiders want you dead?” Asked Autumn, keeping a tight grip on her gun so that she didn’t drop it again. After what they’d seen upstairs, she decided that ’as far away as possible’ was a very good distance to be from this guy.

” _They_ call me Pickman.” He replied, staring down at a couple of the raiders with vaguely pleased expression. “And it was a small disagreement. They objected to my hobby of collecting their heads.”

”Hobby? You’re _sick!_ You’ve killed and maimed people and you’re telling us that it’s a hobby?! What the fuck is wrong with you?” She seethed.

”Did you not just collectively slaughter all those raiders back there? How is that any different? Oh, let me guess, you’re getting _paid_ to do this, right?” He countered with a superior smile.

Autumn just gaped at him. This guy might just be the most terrifying person she had come across since leaving the vault. A serial killer masquerading as an artist with a much too friendly demeanour. She’d read plenty of books about serial killers during college and knew it was entirely possible that she might come across one some day, but not like this. It sent horrible chills down her spine and left a foul taste in her mouth.

But even so...

”Do you only do this to raiders? Because I’ll be honest, I couldn’t give a crap what happens to them, but I swear to God if you tell me that you’ve harmed innocent people in this way-“

Pickman silenced her with a light chuckle and a dismissive wave of his arms. ”You needn’t worry. Raiders hold a certain... _inspiration_ to me. Their expressions really are a marvel, it’s difficult to replicate such emotion from your garden variety wastelander.”

She glared at him for a few seconds, making up her mind, hoping that she wasn’t about to make a huge mistake. MacCready still had his rifle trained on Pickman and was breathing steadily through his nose, his expression focused.

”Just say the word, boss.” He murmered.

Eventually, she let out a breath that she didn’t realise she’d been holding in and lowered her own gun. ”Then we’re done here.” she said coolly turning to MacCready, whose expression had gone from questioning, to completely gobsmacked. “Let’s get out of here.”

”Are you kidding me? We’re just gonna let this psycho live?” He asked incredulously. Autumn closed her eyes and pursed her lips in annoyance as she began walking back towards the tunnel they came from, leaving Pickman in the dust.

”He said it himself that he’s only interested in raiders. His methods are... _disturbing,_ to say the least, but he’s technically doing the world a favour.” She replied in earnest, not looking at him once as they made their way back through the tunnels. She heard MacCready tut loudly behind her and mutter something that sounded suspiciously like “You’re an idiot.” but didn’t bite back. It wasn’t worth it.

It was silence between them again as they made their way back out of Pickman Gallery. Autumn took care not to look at anymore of Pickman’s _’art’_ as they went, though she could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat as the smell hit her nose and quickened her pace, keen to put as much distance between herself and this place as was humanly possible.

”So, back to Goodneighbor? Or do you have a super mutant camp that you’d like to bring flowers to first?” MacCready suddenly mocked once they were outside, breaking the tense silence.

_Hancock really hadn’t been kidding about that attitude of his._

Autumn gritted her teeth and stopped in her tracks. She wasn’t about to stand there and just let him insult her like some silly little girl.

”Ok, look. I get that we don’t know each other from a hole in the ground, and I’m _clearly_ the last person you want to be partnering with right now. Honestly, I couldn’t care less whether you like me or not, so long as you hold up your end of our agreement. But don’t you dare criticise me for showing a bit of fucking empathy now and then. Maybe that’s what this goddamn world needs a little more of these days.” She spat viciously.

Judging by the way his eyes widened for a second, MacCready hadn’t expected her to snap back like that. But he recovered quickly from the shock.

”Showing empathy to people like that is only gonna get you killed,” He shot back before gesturing to her. “and, no offence, but it looks like you need to start showing a lot less if you ever want to survive out here. I mean, why the hel- _heck_ wouldn’t you learn how to fight properly before you left your vault?”

”Because I didn’t grow up in a fucking vault! I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to live inside one!” She cried before she could stop herself.

She watched and waited as MacCready’s face cycled several times between ‘annoyance’ and ‘confusion.’ It might have been funny had she not been so wound up.

”What? So you mean you grew up out in the wastes?”

” _No!_ I didn’t grow up in the wasteland and I didn’t grow up in a vault. I grew up over two hundred years ago, when the Capital was still called Washington DC and you could leave your home without fear of having your arms blown off!”

His face was simply stuck on ‘confused’ now. Autumn could see him trying so very hard to process what she was telling him, but the poor guy was clearly struggling.

”I... _what?!_ ”

She sighed heavily and leaned back against the shell of a burned out old bus.

_No dodging the question now._

“Alright, this is going to take some explaining...”


	5. Everything was so foggy

MacCready listened to Autumn’s story patiently. At first, he wasn’t sure whether he believed her, it was all pretty far fetched after all. A woman frozen for over two hundred years wakes up to find her old world destroyed and is out for revenge for her murdered husband? It was like a story right out of an Unstoppables comic book.

But then again, he’d poked around enough vaults in his life to know that Vault-Tec were not all that they seemed, and when she produced a necklace from under her shirt with two gold wedding bands on it that had both hers and her husbands names engraved on them, along with the date of their wedding, he couldn’t deny that what she was saying was true.

_Dammit Hancock, you and your bright ideas! As if her not knowing how to handle a weapon wasn’t bad enough, but now to find out that she doesn’t really know anything about... anything?! I should just fucking leave now while I still can._

But then she mentioned a baby, her son. Stolen from her husbands arms by the same man who had shot him in cold blood. That struck a chord with him whether he wanted to admit it or not, and he felt a sudden horrible stab of pity for this woman who had gone through so much.

 _Jeez, and here I am criticising_ her _for having too much empathy._

”Ok, so what exactly is your next move? Because right now it sounds to me like you’re looking for a needle in a haystack.” The Commonwealth was a big place after all, and there was no guarantee that her kid hadn’t already taken out of the area entirely.

Autumn pursed her lips in thought, scratching absentmindedly at a cut on her elbow.

”Well, I was told to go to a place called Diamond City and start asking there if anyone has seen Shaun. Ever heard of it?”

”Have I ever... Seriously? It’s the largest settlement in the whole freaking Commonwealth!” He knew he was being a bit of an asshole, but she was making it so damn hard not to be with how little she knew about even the basics. “As a matter of fact, why didn’t you go there first?”

Autumn looked down at her feet a little awkwardly and tapped her pip-boy with a finger. ”Well, I uh, I got lost. I followed the map on my pip-boy, but some streets are completely blocked off by rubble or by raider camps. Then I ran into a group of super mutants, so I just picked a direction and ran. Eventually I saw the neon lights and I just followed those to Goodneighbor.”

MacCready nodded once. She’d managed to stay alive and make her way to the city all by herself, and not twenty minutes ago he’d watched as she put down a man twice her size. Maybe she wasn’t _completely_ useless after all.

”Alright, here’s what we’ll do,” He sighed, gesturing for her to show him the map on her pip-boy. “We’ll head back to Goodneighbor and give Hancock the low-down on Pickman and his... ’hobby,’ and then we’ll head to Diamond City this way.” He marked out a route with his fingertips, making sure to avoid places he knew were bustling with trouble. ”When we get to Diamond City I think I know where to start looking. There’s a guy there, a detective, who specialises in finding missing people. If anyone can help you, it’s him.”

Autumn studied the path he’d set out for them, nodding her head slowly. Then she looked up at him, her face uncertain, almost distrusting. ”Are you sure you even want to keep travelling with me? I mean, this is a hell of a lot more than you signed up for. I won’t be mad if you wanna just stay in Goodneighbor, I’m sure I’ll be alright on my own if I just stick to this route.”

MacCready could tell by the tightness of her jaw that she was still pissed off at the way he’d spoken to her before. But c’mon, how was he supposed to know that his boss was a two hundred year old popsicle who didn’t even know what a rad-scorpion was until last week?

_She’s literally giving you a way out here, Mac! Don’t be an idiot, just go back to the Third Rail and wait for a nice, easy escort job or something. Leave this futuristic sci-fi crap alone!_

”You paid me, didn’t you? So I’ll stick with you until you tell me to leave.” He found himself saying in stark contrast to what his brain was telling him.

_You fucking tool._

Autumn didn’t look wholly convinced with his reply, but she gave him a smile anyway and shrugged one shoulder, pushing off from the bus she’d been leaning against with her foot.

”Well then, what are we waiting for?”

 

* * *

 

_Note to self: Next time your problematic boss gives you the option of backing out of a contract, just fucking do it! Or better yet, walk yourself off of Trinity Tower, it’ll be far less painful for yourself than sticking by some insufferable, ‘green as radiation sickness’ woman who can’t seem to just walk away from a person in need!_

It had been two days since MacCready had agreed to take Autumn to meet Nick Valentine in Diamond City. He thought it would be a simple job at first, but as he was quickly learning with this new boss of his, nothing was ever simple.

When they finally arrived in Diamond City, it was to find that old Nick had gone missing while working on a case, and instead of just accepting this and walking away, Autumn just up and tells, nay _promises_ his secretary that they’d go and look for him. Without pay! He had to remind her that they weren’t running a goddamn charity.

”You told me that this guy’s my best bet if I want to find Shaun. So to find my son I first need to find the guy who will help me find him!” She pushed back stubbornly, albeit confusingly. All MacCready could do was grumble irritability under his breath as she led him down into the dirty old subway station that Nick’s assistant had pointed them to, and from there into an old vault that was teaming with gangsters. Of course, it was all down to MacCready to take them out, because miss goody two-shoes aimed a gun like both of her arms had been broken by a mirelurk!

After a couple of hours wondering hopelessly lost within the maze of a vault, Autumn hanging back while MacCready dealt with any gangsters they met, they finally found the cell that Nick was being held in. But without a lock to pick, MacCready didn’t see a way for them to bust him out. Then Autumn strolled up to the wall mounted terminal and began demonstrating another strange talent of hers: computer hacking.

”I used a computer nearly every single day before the war, you pick up certain tricks along the way.” She explained with a smirk as she typed rhythmically on the keyboard, cursing every now and then when she made an error. After a few minutes of silence, pierced only by the sound of light clacking and MacCready’s impatient huffs, there was a high pitched _beep_ from the terminal, and the cell door slid open.

_Maybe I should have mentioned the fact that Nick’s a... nah, this’ll be way more fun._

But, as was becoming tradition, Autumn found yet another way to surprise him, and if she was shocked to see that Nick Valentine was a synth, it sure as hell didn’t show on her face when she walked into the cell and greeted him politely, as though he were just another run of the mill trader.

”Gotta love the irony of the reverse ’damsel-in-distress’ scenario. Question is: why did our heroine risk life and limb for an old private eye?” Nick mused as he walked into the light, exposing his metal arm, yellow eyes and, well, general synth appearance.

”I can explain why as soon as we get out of here, detective.” Replied Autumn with urgency, gesturing for him to follow them out of the cell.

”You’ve seen a synth before?” MacCready whispered over her shoulder, gesturing to Nick who was taking the lead down an old service corridor.

”Never, I’m just very aware that it’s not good manners to freak out in the face of someone you need help from just because they look a little different.” She replied haughtily.

Three hours and a bullet grazed elbow later (he had Autumn to thank for that as she couldn’t seem to manage to take out one solitary gangster that was barely ten feet away from her, meaning he had to run in like the fucking saviour he didn’t want to be and shove her out of harms way. A stray bullet catching his elbow in the process.) and they were all back in Nick’s office, each smoking a much needed cigarette.

”So, now that we’re all suitably alive and out of danger, you care to tell me why it was you sought me out in the first place?” Asked Nick, removing a battered old notebook from his desk drawer and flipping it open to a fresh page, yellow eyes keen and interested.

Autumn looked down at her knees, balling a hand on her lap and taking a tentative huff of her cigarette with the other, exhaling a sigh that enveloped her in smoke.

“It’s my son. H-he was taken, he’s less than a year old.” She stammered, her voice thick with grief.

It went on like that for at least twenty minutes. Every gruesome detail of her ordeal, from the day the bombs fell, right down to the kidnapper shooting her husband in the head. MacCready pressed his lips firmly together and stared intently at the wall opposite him, he didn’t look at her once throughout her story, couldn’t bare to see the look on her face accompanying the anguish in her voice that she tried so hard to mask. Nick, meanwhile, was busy scribbling down every last detail he could in his notebook, pressing her for as much information as she could give. Right down to the culprits appearance.

”One of them came right up to me. Bald head, scar across his left eye.” She muttered, her voice choked and full of resentment. Nick stopped writing, his head shot up.

”Wait, it couldn’t be... you didn’t hear the name _Kellogg_ at all, did you?”

”I... might have. Everything was so foggy.” She replied, looking hopeful. “Why? Do you think he might have something to do with this?”

”It’s been my experience over the years that things like this are rarely ever a coincidence,” he said cynically as he closed his notebook and got to his feet. “I think I’ve got enough information to be going on with for now. I’m going to cash in on a couple of favours and do a little digging around.”

”We’ll come with you.” Said Autumn, hopping to her feet. Nick however, shook his head and smiled warmly at her.

”No offence, doll, but the two of you look like you’re about to drop at any moment. When did you last get any sleep?”

She looked over her shoulder at MacCready who raised an eyebrow back at her. Not that he wanted to complai- ok that was a lie, he _definitely_ wanted to complain about how exhausted he was. But he knew that she wouldn’t listen to him so he’d kept quiet the whole time.

Nick chuckled with a small nod at the obvious silence between them. “Go get yourselves a room and rest up. I’ll get back to you as soon as I find anything.”

And with that, he walked out of the office, leaving Autumn looking crestfallen. MacCready kind of admired her enthusiasm, but he knew that she was no use to her son, or anyone else (specifically _him_ ) for that matter if she collapsed from exhaustion while out on the road.

”Don’t worry hun, Nick’s a professional. If anyone can find your son, it’s him.” Assured his receptionist, Ellie, with a gentle rub to Autumn’s back. She sighed in response and nodded her head.

”Suppose we’d best go find someplace to stay.” She mumbled. MacCready took one last drag of his cigarette and cocked his head towards the door.

”I know a place. Follow me.”

The Dugout Inn was lively as ever when they arrived. Vadim greeted him like a brother when he approached the bar and hugged him so tight he was sure his spine had splintered in a thousand pieces. He was in the process of asking him where he’d been hiding for the last few months when his eyes fell on Autumn, who was hovering right behind MacCready, and his smile grew even bigger.

”And who is this beautiful little _tsvetok?_ ” He asked, putting on all the charm as he took her hand and kissed it, causing her to blush furiously.

”This is my new employer. Autumn, meet Vadim, he runs things here. Knows the quickest way to get a guy drunk enough to lose all his caps and dignity.” He smirked as Vadim puffed out his chest with pride.

“Ha! You flatter me boy. Now, what can Vadim do for you both?”

”We need a couple of rooms for the night, and a whole load of alcohol.” He added with a grimace as another jolt of pain shot through his already aching elbow.

”I’m afraid we have just one room, room two. It’s yours if you want it. Alcohol, however I have by the gallons!” He replied loudly to a couple of drunken cheers from the patrons in the bar. MacCready shot a look over at Autumn, then back to Vadim.

”Fine. If that’s all there is, we’ll take it.” He grumbled, digging through his bag for some of the caps that Hancock had given him as payment for their work at Pickman Gallery. Autumn got there first, however.

”Here you go, Vadim.” She smiled, passing him a sum of caps for their room and taking the key before making her own way to the room. Vadim smiled knowingly at MacCready who rolled his eyes as he slung his bag back over his shoulder.

”Shut up.” He grumbled, turning to follow his boss. He could still hear Vadim’s throaty chuckle as he entered the room and shut the door. Immediately, his eyes fell on the double bed pushed up against the wall, he could feel his neck growing hot and turned his attention instead to the lumpy looking sofa in the other corner, throwing his bag, and then himself, down on it.

”You take the bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa.” He said, removing his duster and twisting his arm to check the damage done to his elbow. _Crap!_ That was a deep graze. He began digging through his bag one handed for a stimpak and a clean bandage, muttering angrily to himself as he went.

 _”Don’t see what’s so damn difficult \- point and shoot - how difficult is that to understand?”_ He murmered scathingly.

”Here, let me do that.”

He looked up at Autumn, who was crossing the room with a stimpak already in her hand. He shrugged and passed her the bandage he was holding without a word and she knelt down on the floor beside him, bending his arm so she could tend to the graze. She’d removed her coat, scarf and hood, revealing a shockingly thin frame underneath. She looked like she hadn’t eaten a decent meal in months which, he reminded himself, she probably hadn’t. Good nutrition was hard to come by as it was in the Commonwealth, and when you were running for your life on the daily, stopping for food kind of became more of a chore than a necessity.

MacCready watched her as she worked, staring once again at her hair. He wasn’t sure why, but something about it had him completely entranced. Maybe it was the way that it shone even in the dingiest light, or the way the colour of it reminded him of the embers of a dying fire. He’d never seen a colour like that before, so damn warm that just the mere sight of it seemed to fill him up.

She seemed to sense his eyes on her and glanced up at him, a faint smile ghosting her lips as she shook her hair from her shoulder to fall down her back, exposing her neck... and a large scar that began halfway up her throat and disappeared down under her tank top, it looked pretty new. Seeing that, alongside everything he had learned about her situation over the past couple of days made him feel a horrible stab of pity that he knew he shouldn’t be feeling if he wanted to keep things nice and simple and professional.

_This girl’s been through the mill, and here I am complaining about a beat up elbow._

She cracked open a bottle of purified water and dug a clean cloth out of her bag to soak it in. MacCready let out a sigh.

”You shouldn’t waste clean water on something like this.” He complained as she gently dabbed his arm and wiped away the blood. She huffed quietly at him, but didn’t stop.

”If I use dirty water from the taps it might get infected. You’re not much to me use as a hired gun if you lose an arm, are you?” She countered as she set aside the cloth and picked up the stimpak. He said nothing else as she continued to work on his elbow, opting instead to continue watching her work. She was very gentle with the needle and bandage, her fingers light on his arm as she held it in place. She’d clearly done this before.

Once she was satisfied that he was sufficiently bandaged up, she discarded the used stimpak in the nearby trash can and went back over to her bed to sit down. She took a drink of water that was left in the bottle, lifting her head and further exposing the scar on her throat. MacCready’s curiosity got the better of him.

”How did _this_ happen?” He asked, motioning to his own throat. She crossed her legs on the bed and tugged at the cord her wedding rings were attached to, silent for a moment, until...

”Deathclaw,” she murmured quietly. “It came at me while I was trying to help out a group of minutemen in Concord. I’d never seen one before, it was so _fast!_ It completely tore off the chest plate of the power amor I was wearing, I managed to take it down with the minigun I was using, but if it hadn’t been for Preston and his people I would have bled out in the street.”

Her hair fell over her face as she looked down at her knees and muttered something along the lines of “So fucking useless” under her breath. MacCready’s first instinct was to be annoyed, he had little time for pity parties that weren’t his own, and refused to entertain them. Everyone had a hard life.

But this woman had it worse than most. She’d been dumped unceremoniously into this new world against her will, and instead of curling up and waiting for death like most people would, she’d forced herself on. She’d faced things that most Diamond City residents wouldn’t dare to dream of and kept pushing herself forward. Did he admire it? Kind of.

MacCready sighed and sat forward on the sofa. “Did you know that mirelurk queens spit acid?”

Autumn looked up at him, a small crease between her brows. “Huh?”

”Mirelurk queens. When they attack you, they spit acid. I was doing a job for this rich caravan owner once, clearing out some old tunnels when this _huge_ fuc-freaking thing pops out of the mud and starts shooting acid at me, caught me completely by surprise! I managed to take it down after about five minutes, but not before it got me right here,” He pulled at the collar of his t-shirt, revealing a large shiny scar on his left shoulder. “If I hadn’t been wearing armor it would have probably burned through my whole arm.”

Autumn pursed her lips briefly before smiling over at him and nodded slowly in understanding.

”I see what you’re getting at, thanks MacCready. And I’m sorry I kind of... got you shot.” She apologised, gesturing to his wrapped up arm. MacCready shrugged his shoulders.

”It’s not the first time, probably won’t be the last either. But you really need to get in some practice if you seriously wanna survive out there, I'm not always gonna be around to save you.” He said firmly.

Autumn nodded again and swung her legs back over the edge of the bed. ”Can _you_ teach me how to shoot?”

”Uh...”

_You walked right into that one, Mac._

”Well, I guess I can at least teach you to shoot in a straight line.” He conceeded, earning himself a dry laugh from her.

”Great. Because when I find the man who murdered my husband and took my son, I’m gonna put a bullet in _his_ head, see how that asshole likes it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsvetok = Russian for ‘flower’


	6. That’s how it goes

_“Patience is a virtue, child.”_

That’s what her father had always said to her growing up, usually while sat in his armchair smoking a pipe like some kind of wise old shaman. Unfortunately for Autumn, patience was something she was woefully lacking in.

Nick’s investigation into Shaun’s kidnapping was taking a lot longer than she anticipated. Every day she would go to him to ask if there was any news and to offer her assistance in his search, but each time he insisted that he worked quicker alone and would shoo her back out of the office while he worked. Most recently she hadn’t even gotten the words “How’s it going?” out of her mouth before Nick ushered her back out of the door with a kindly “You’ll know when I do, doll.” and shut the door in her face, leaving her staring at the door to his office in complete frustration.

_Sure, don’t let me help. I’m only the fucking mother of the child!_

She hated not doing anything, couldn’t stand it! Autumn always felt at her best when she was kept busy. What was it her mom always said? _’idle hands do the devils work’_ or some shit like that? She then groaned out loud and scolded herself for allowing another one of her parents platitudes to slip into her head. She’d hated them when she was a child, and she wasn’t much more a fan of them now that she was older.

As it turns out, there wasn’t much for her to do in Diamond City, besides walk in circles and piss away her caps on alcohol, and she hadn’t quite fallen far enough into that pit of despair as to become a total alcoholic. So every morning, after Autumn had filled her daily ‘pester Nick’ quota, MacCready would take her out of the city where he would fulfil his promise of teaching her how to shoot.

Or at least, he would try.

To her credit, she was definitely improving. Every day they would venture away from the city to a where an abandoned little shack stood on the outskirts, where he would line up tin cans along a wall and instruct her to shoot them down. Just like at a carnival, except instead of a giant teddy bear, first prize was getting to live another day.

At first, she couldn’t make a single shot, which disheartened her massively, but despite his mocking, quiet chuckling and overall bad attitude, MacCready proved to be a surprisingly patient teacher.

”Don’t get frustrated. Would it help if I told you that I never used to be able to do this?” He reassured her after a particularly bad round.

“And how old were you when you first picked up a gun?” She countered with a raised brow and a lopsided grin.

”...Eight,” he mumbled after a pause. “But you said yourself that you haven’t had to pick up a gun before until now, so no one expects you to be a bonafide killing machine immediately... although, it would help if you could pick it up a _little_ quicker, because I really don’t want to be shot in the arm again any time soon.” He added with a smirk, prompting Autumn to gasp in mock outrage and throw one of the cans at his head.

_I can throw a can like a champ but I can’t shoot them. Figures._

However, over the next several weeks of daily practice she found that her skills had improved tenfold. First she knocked one can down, then three, then seven. She’d yet to knock them all down in a single run, but hey, any progress was a victory in her book, and it made her fear the day that she runs into another super mutant camp by accident just a little bit less.

”You’re doing pretty well, if you keep this up maybe soon I can even teach you how to sharpshoot.” MacCready suggested one day while they were taking a break from practice. Autumn was busy sending a message to Preston on her pip-boy (The usual ‘Hey, I’m not lying dead in a ditch somewhere so that’s cool!’), and her head shot up when she heard that.

”Seriously, sniping?”

She couldn’t deny that she’d been admiring the rifle on his back ever since she’d watched him take out that raider in the basement of Pickman’s Gallery, but she’d thought it best to work on keeping two hands on a pistol before moving on to bigger and better things.

”Sure, you’re making great progress with your pistol, but sometimes you’re gonna need to keep your distance during a fight. It’s my preferred way of doing things, sometimes knocking a guy to the floor and hoping he’ll stay down just won’t cut it.” He smirked, causing her cheeks to turn pink involuntarily.

”Alright then _teacher,_ If you’re offering to-“

MacCready raised his hand to silence her. The gentle teasing in his face had died away and was suddenly replaced with cold, horrible tension. It looked like he was listening out for something.

”MacCready? What’s-“

 _”Get down!”_ He cried, dragging her behind the wall they’d been leaning against as several shots rang out around them, bouncing off the wall and hitting the wooden panels of the shack behind them. Autumn couldn’t move, and for a brief, horrifying second she thought that she’d been shot in the spine. But then she realised that MacCready had ahold of her, pinning her against his chest protectively as more bullets flew in their direction. After a few more seconds the gunfire ceased, and she heard rancorous laughter coming from somewhere in the distance.

”We told you MacCready, no more jobs out in the ‘Wealth! This is your last fucking warning, there won’t be another!” Came a voice that she recognised from the Third Rail.

”Those assh- _dammit!”_ He snarled, releasing his iron grip on Autumn who twisted to look at him. “You alright?” He asked.

”It’s not me I’m worried about right now,” She replied, observing the fury in his face. His cheeks were red and his blue eyes had gone dark, full of hatred for the men up on the ridge. “Who are those guys anyway?”

”A couple of morons looking to climb the ladder of success by stepping on everyone else on the way up.” He spat angrily, peering over the wall to make sure that they’d gone before standing up and signalling that the coast was clear. “Shouldn’t be surprised though, that’s how it goes when you run with the Gunners.”

”Who actually _are_ the Gunners, I hear people talk about them but I don’t really know-“

”Gang of rapists and murderers is what they are. People take up contracts with them out of desperation, thinking that they’ll be kept safe. But the moment they get their money the Gunners’ll put a bullet in their employers head, and kill their families too for good measure. I joined them for a while because they needed a sniper and the caps were good, but as soon as I realised what I’d signed up for, I got the hell out of there as fast as I could. I thought they wouldn’t care that I left, never really fit in there anyway, but now-“

”Now they want you back.” Autumn surmised to a nod from MacCready.

”Back, or dead. Doesn’t seem to matter either way to them. Listen, Autumn, I don’t think I can keep doing this. If they see that we’re still working together they’ll kill us both.”

For the first time since meeting him there was genuine worry on MacCready’s face, accompanying the fear in his voice, and she hated it. Hated seeing her moody, sarcastic merc looking afraid when there was nothing she could do to help.

Or was there?

”Unless... we kill them first?” She suggested quietly. MacCready opened his mouth to reply but she cut him off.

”No, listen! These guys are clearly a menace, not only to us, but to everyone else in the Commonwealth. Say we _do_ stop travelling together, do you honestly think they’ll stop coming after you?”

She let MacCready think that question through for a moment before continuing, his answer plain as day in his expression.

”So, I suggest we hit them first, wipe them all out before they can hurt anyone else. Where are they based?” She went on, opening the map on her pip-boy.

”Winlock and Barnes’ crew hide out at Mass Pike Interchange, it’s out west, but... no. We can’t just go out there guns blazing, there’re too many of them, they’d kill us both in an instant! You need to find your son, and I can’t be getting in the way of that. I’ll take you back to Diamond City so you can wait for Nick to come up with a lead, but I’m heading back to Goodneighbor first thing in the morning. I’m... I’m sorry.” He insisted, slinging his bag over his shoulder and turning to walk back towards the city. Autumn was incredulous.

”You can’t be fucking serious! Look, I have an idea, if we go there under cover of dark we can sneak right by-“

”Boss, I get that you mean well, but don’t do something so damn stupid on my account. I’m seriously not worth it.” He muttered over his shoulder as he walked on, leaving Autumn standing there in disbelief.

 _I don’t believe that for a second._ She thought stubbornly.

 

* * *

 

There was one thing about Autumn that infuriated everyone she came across: She refused to take ‘no’ for an answer.

She’d decided to turn in early at the Dugout Inn, leaving MacCready at the bar talking with Vadim while she prepared her bag and went over the route on her map. She took the liberty of sneaking a few mines and other equipment she might need out of MacCready’s bag and into her own, he’d forgive her... probably. Then she just had to get into bed and wait.

The waiting proved to be the most difficult bit. Did MacCready ever sleep? It was over an hour after he lay down in his usual spot on the sofa before she heard his breathing soften and she deemed it safe to sneak away, cursing the way the bed creaked as she got up. She crept quietly out of their room with her bag over her shoulder and approached Vadim who was still pouring drinks for the last man sitting at the bar. His face lit up when he saw her.

Autumn, my little _krasnyy tsvetok!_ Where are you going so late at night?” He asked, eyeing the bag over her shoulder and the steely look in her eyes.

”I can’t say. Do me a favour, will you give this to MacCready when he wakes up, please?” She replied, sliding a note across the bar before turning on her heel and walking towards the exit without another word, Vadim calling after her with concern.

”Alright but, what is it you are planning?”

_Something damn stupid._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krasnyy tsvetok = Russian for ‘red flower.’  
> Pet names are cute!


	7. Shut up and follow me

MacCready knew something was wrong the second he woke up.

He’d always been a light sleeper, something he didn’t have much of a choice in when he was out on the road so often. You either slept with one eye open, or you were a dead man. So when he woke up in the middle of the night and saw that both Autumn and her bag had gone, he first questioned how the fuck she’d managed to sneak by him so easily before that curiosity was replaced with worry.

He left their room, flinching as the harsh fluorescent lights hit his eyes, and went straight to the bar to speak to Vadim who looked harassed from the moment he laid eyes on him.

”MacCready! Autumn gave me this, she told me to give it to you when I saw you.” He blurted, passing MacCready a handwritten note across the counter which he snatched and tore open in barely a second.

_MacCready,_

_I’d say ‘don’t be mad at me’ but I know you will be anyway. So I’ll say this instead: Trust me. I’m heading to Mass Pike to take out those Gunners. Yes, I know the risks and, yes, I know that I might die attempting this, but I couldn’t live with myself knowing that you were going back to Goodneighbor only to continue being hounded and threatened by those assholes. If I don’t make it back then-_

The next line was scribbled out, and under that simply read:

 _I’m sorry,_  
_Autumn._

”Son of a- when did she leave?” He snapped at Vadim, crumpling the paper up in his hand furiously.

”A-about an hour ago. What’s-?“

MacCready had turned and raced back to his room to grab his things before Vadim could finish his sentence, and was rushing out of the door mere moments after that. Cursing Autumn and her idiocy the entire time.

_Of all the stupid, tactless, crazy things she could have done! Dammit! I hope I’m not too late._

He raced through the Commonwealth as fast as his legs could carry him, mercifully managing to avoid delays from raiders, super mutants or anything else unpleasant. At one point, he wondered if he should have stopped by Goodneighbor to ask Hancock for help, but there was just no time! Autumn might already be-

_No, she can’t be dead. I told her that she needs to find her son. Fuck! Why would she do such a stupid thing just for me?!_

As he approached Mass Pike and picked out a vantage point for himself, MacCready stopped to search his bag for the silencer he’d recently purchased for his rifle. If there was going to be a shootout, he was going to make damn sure that he took as many of them out quietly beforehand as he could. But as he looked through his bag, he noticed that his frag grenades were missing, mines and stimpaks too.

_Why, that sneaky little-_

He huffed out a breath as he attached the silencer to his rifle and began scanning the guard posts for the night watch. There were usually only three of them on guard duty in the evening, something that MacCready had never been happy about.

 _”You seriously think three people will be enough to save our sleeping asses if there’s an attack?”_ He’d questioned to a resounding _”Shut the fuck up, MacCready.”_ from Winlock and Barnes. Oh well, if anything tonight was going to be a perfect opportunity to prove himself absolutely fucking right.

But as he scoped out the guard posts, his eyes fell on three collapsed figures, black-looking blood gleaming around their bodies in the moonlight. There was only one person who could have been responsible for that, though how exactly she’d managed it was a question he would have to file away for when he found her again.

_If she’s not already- Dammit, Mac! Stop thinking like that! She’s fine, she_ has _to be._

As the elevator up to the interchange was currently well out of reach, and any attempts to bring it down would draw the attention of every Gunner, deathclaw and yao guai within a mile radius, he opted to take the long way around, up the treacherous broken side of the interchange. A much less used path, but for a good reason. Where the road had broken away there were large gaping holes with deathly drops below that MacCready was very keen to avoid, made all the more difficult by the incoming clouds which hid the moon from view and plunged him into further darkness.

With the camp finally in sight, he strained his eyes for any sign of Autumn, her thin frame, her auburn hair, _anything._ His heart was thumping wildly, palms sweating with nerves as he adjusted his grip on his rifle. The guard at the entrance to the camp was fast asleep _(Typical, I always said Wallace was fucking useless.)_ making it easy for him to sneak by.

He spotted Autumn almost immediately, everyone else must have been asleep in their bunks. She was skulking silently around the camp, planting mines here and there, stopping every so often to fiddle with her pip-boy. She didn’t even realise that MacCready was so close by, creeping up behind her as quickly as he could to stop her before her crazy plan could go on any longer.

Approaching her soundlessly, he worried that if he just went up and grabbed her by the shoulder that she might cry out in shock, waking the whole camp. So instead he put one arm across her chest, pinning her against his own, and used his free hand to cover her mouth.

Big mistake.

Autumn threw herself straight into fight mode the second he grabbed her. Her head snapped back, connecting painfully with his jaw and causing him to release her. He had to squeeze his eyes shut and bite down hard on his tongue to stop _himself_ from crying out and when he opened them again, it was to find the barrel of her pistol inches from his face and Autumn looking down at him, her expression a mixture of shock and fury.

”Are you fucking kidding me? What’re you doing here?” She hissed quietly, readjusting her hood that had been knocked askew while MacCready felt around with his tongue to make sure he still had all his teeth (minus that one at the back that he lost in a bar fight that one time).

”What am _I_ doing here? I’m trying to stop you from getting yourself killed! Why did you come here when I specifically told you not to bother?” He snapped back, glancing around to make sure no one had heard their scuffle.

”Why did I-? I did it so that you and everyone else can be rid of these bastards. You know they won’t just stop if you quit taking up contracts, so I came here to put an end to them before they can hurt anyone else. Now, _shut up_ and follow me.”

MacCready gaped at her, mouth wide open, as she crept around him and began making her way back out of the camp, much to his confusion. Though he did as she asked and remained as quiet as possible as he followed her, still rubbing his jaw gingerly. Autumn glanced over her shoulder at him and rolled her eyes, muttering something along the lines of “Serves you right.”

Once they were back on the ground, she led him up to the top of a nearby hill and sat down amongst the dead grass, there she removed her bag from her shoulders, placing it between her legs and rifling through it until she found what she needed: some kind of button?

”Um, care to tell me exactly what you’re planning here?”

She glowered up at him out of the corner of her eye as she attached it to her pip-boy with a cable and started messing with buttons and dials.

”So, turns out this pip-boy can do some pretty impressive stuff. There’s this guy who works with the minutemen, Sturges, who’s insanely good at building things. He gave me this detonator and told me that if I hook it up to my pip-boy, I can send out a signal to any active nearby mines that’ll blow them sky high. You... _may_ have noticed that I took some of your mines out of your bag.” She said by way of apology as she continued to turn dials and type in bits of code.

”Yeah, I noticed,” he replied grudgingly. “This is seriously freaking risky though, you’re telling me you snuck all over that camp back there just to plant some mines? What if you’d been caught?”

”That’s why I also stole your grenades and stimpaks. Besides, I didn’t see you coming up with any bright ideas. Now, shut up and let me work.” She commanded, waving her hand at him as she finished up, pausing every now and then to readjust the cable, grumbling things like “don’t fucking believe this” under her breath.

 _Jeez, remind me next time she wonders off into a dangerous situation alone not to bother coming to her aid._ He thought bitterly to himself.

”God, I hope this works.” Autumn muttered a few moments later to a shocked splutter from MacCready.

”What? You’re telling me we’ve come all the way out here and there’s a chance this might not even work?” He barked as quietly as he could, not that it really made much of a difference now.

She turned to look up at him, eyebrows raised in disbelief. ”Ok, _one:_ I didn’t ask you to come out here with me and _two:_ well... yes. It’s a slim chance considering how close we are, but a chance all the same.” She admitted, holding up the detonator and pressing it without warning.

It worked all right.

All at once there was a mighty explosion, the whole interchange went up in a ball of fire as explosion after explosion went off from Autumn’s planted mines, and apparently the mines that already belonged to the Gunners. He heard her cry out in triumph, whooping loudly before they were forced to duck their heads as a wall of heat washed over them, then he felt a familiar wave of nausea fall over him and he pushed Autumn to the floor just as some of the explosions began turning nuclear.

”Shit! They must have had mini nukes in storage up there!” Autumn cried as she curled up into a ball on the ground. MacCready didn’t answer her as he was a little busy trying not to throw up.

_Fucking nukes, since when did Winlock and Barnes keep nukes?!_

Eventually there was a deafening rumble and they both raised their heads in time to see the remaining foundations of the interchange buckle, bringing the whole thing crashing down, showering them both in dust and debris. It was a few more minutes after that before they deemed it safe enough to get to their feet, coughing and dusting themselves off.

”Well, can’t imagine any of them could have survived that.” Autumn commented as she observed the chaos around them, crouching down to place the detonator back into her bag. MacCready had no words, instead he just stared at her, wide eyed and completely stunned.

This woman, who until a few days ago could barely manage to shoot a bunch of rusted old cans off of a wall from a few yards away, just managed to tear down a whole Gunner hideout entirely on her own, and she did it all for _him._

”Autumn, I...”

What was he supposed to say? What could he say to someone he’d openly criticised for her kindness, who’d just used that kindness to free him from the Gunners for good? He’d thought about leaving her more times than he cared to admit when the going got tough, but the one time he was in trouble, she dropped everything and leapt to his aid without a moments hesitation. He knew he was an asshole sometimes, but this time the knowing really stung.

”...Thank you.” He mumbled eventually, taking a step forward and pulling Autumn into a tight hug. The move seemed to stun her, because it was a moment or two before she wrapped her arms around his back, reciprocating the embrace.

”Just... don’t be so quick to shut me down next time.” She breathed, resting her head on his shoulder.

 _Damn,_ it had been a while since he’d hugged someone like this. It felt good. Despite the layers of dust covering them both, he could still smell the sweetness of her perfume, he could feel how tiny her body was in his arms. She didn’t feel like someone who could mercilessly take out a whole gang of Gunners by herself, but as he knew all too well by now, she was remarkably good at surprising him.

He pulled away eventually and turned to pick up their bags, sneezing through the dust that surrounded them. “We should get back to Diamond City. Vadim probably has all the drunks out looking for us by now.”

”Poor Vadim, he looked so upset when I left.” She chuckled as they began walking back. He could see the first sliver of dawn slowly creeping over the horizon and suddenly realised how exhausted he was.

”I’m not surprised, I never hear him give pet names to anyone else. He must really like you.” He teased with a nudge to her ribs, causing her to giggle childishly.

”Well, he needn’t worry, I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you... right?” She asked, browns knotting together with concern. MacCready smiled back reassuringly, his spirits high at the thought of never again having to look at Winlock or Barnes’ miserable faces. He was free.

”We had a deal, boss. Where you go, I follow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this is the first chapter that I’ve ‘umm-ed’ and ‘aah-ed’ over in terms of how I disposed of the Gunners (headcanon: the pip-boy can be used for a lot more than just opening vault doors and listening to the radio!), so I hope you guys enjoyed it! If not, well... let’s just say that the Gunner chapter isn’t entirely closed in this story yet. ;)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read, kudo’d and commented so far, your support means the world!


	8. You’re one up on me

It was well past Midday when Autumn finally woke up. She felt as though she could have easily slept for another six hours were it not for the adrenaline that she could still feel rushing through her body... or maybe that was just a little bit of radiation sickness? She reminded herself to take some rad-away before getting up.

_Ah, rad-away. The wasteland equivalent of taking your daily vitamins._

Yawning loudly, she rolled away from the wall and looked over at the sofa. MacCready wasn’t there. She jumped up in bed, thinking for one wild moment that he’d left for Goodneighbor like he’d originally planned. But then she noticed his duster, thrown haphazardly over the arm of the sofa alongside his hat, and her panic receded.

_Of course he hasn’t left, he promised. Chill out, Autumn._

She threw herself back down on the pillow, allowing the memories of last night to run through her head for the umpteenth time with a smile. Sneaking through the Gunner camp, the thrill of knowing she could be caught at any moment. It should have terrified her, rendered her incapable of movement, but instead it gave her a buzz the likes of which she’d never felt before.

She couldn’t have imagined herself doing anything as crazy as that before the war. Hell, she couldn’t even sneak to the bathroom in the middle of the night without waking Shaun up in his crib, never mind wipe out a whole gang of trained gunmen. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t feel a little good.

Autumn got out of bed and rummaged around in her bag for a pre-prepared syringe of rad-away which she administered to herself, grimacing at the feeling of the needle in her arm, watching her pip-boy’s rad counter slowly drop. Once she was satisfied that she wouldn’t be sprouting any extra limbs, she discarded the needle and threw on a clean pair of jeans, tossing a plaid shirt over her tank top before running a brush through the birds nest she called hair, wincing as the brush got caught in the tangled tresses.

“God, I miss shampoo and conditioner.” She whined as she coiled her long hair up into a messy bun on top of her head and took a look at herself in the cracked vanity mirror.

She’d only been out of the vault a couple of months, but Autumn barely recognised the woman staring back at her now. She was thin and pale, covered in cuts and bruises and looked like she could use about a full weeks sleep. She’d always prided herself on looking good without using much makeup, but two hundred years in a cryo pod followed by two months of endless trauma and stress was doing her skin _no_ favours.

She looked down at her hands and couldn’t help but laugh. They were dirty and cut completely to ribbons, her knuckles stinging when she clenched her fists. But still, the grey nail polish that she’d applied more than two hundred years ago was still clinging in places to her nails, still hanging on throughout all of her hardships. She wondered if there was a metaphor hidden somewhere within the old chipped varnish and laughed to herself again before leaving the room to go order breakfast... lunch... whatever.

She passed Vadim a number of caps for a couple of plates of brahmin steak, which he handed to her, along with a promise to never let her disappear in the middle of the night again, and sent her outside to where MacCready was sat, cleaning his rifle on the table.

It was a beautiful morning in Diamond City, something else that made Autumn laugh a little as she’d thought the days of beautiful mornings were long gone. The sun was shining brightly when she stepped outside, warming her skin despite the fact that it was late December. She figured it was something to do with the radiation in the air messing up the climate, she didn’t even feel the need to go back and grab her coat.

_They really weren’t kidding about global warming._

There were rifle parts scattered all over the table MacCready was sat at, all of them gleaming except the barrel, which he was cleaning meticulously with a strong, musty smelling gun oil that was all over his hands. He looked up at her with a half-smile when she approached, and his eyes lit up when he saw the food in her hands.

”Heck yes! I’m starving, thanks!” He groaned, wiping his hands with a cloth as she set the plates down and took a seat opposite him, pushing aside bullets with the back of her hand.

”I thought you’d still be sleeping. You should have woke me up.” She remarked, grabbing a fork and picking at her food while he in contrast tore straight into his own.

”Nah, you looked exhausted, thought I’d just leave you be. I don’t really get much sleep anyway, being on the road so much kind of wrecks your sleep cycle. You feeling alright?” He added, nodding to the food on her plate that she was still pushing around with her fork.

”Yeah, Commonwealth dining leaves much to be desired, spent my first few weeks out of the vault just trying to find something to eat that wouldn’t make me throw up.” She said matter-of-factly, taking a small nibble of her steak. Try as she might, she just couldn’t convince herself that she was eating regular old beef. She was used to her cows having only one head and her seafood not being more than twice the size of her.

Autumn noticed that MacCready was starting down at his own food a little guiltily, and was about to tell him to snap out of it and quit feeling sorry for her when his head shot up again.

”I could show you some good plants to use to season your food, if... if it would help, I mean.” He suggested a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck before taking another bite. Autumn’s brow furrowed in a mixture of both confusion and amusement.

”You know how to cook?”

”Well, I mean, I’m no chef, but I grew up in a cave where good food was pretty hard to come by. You had to be a little creative if you didn’t want to starve.” He shrugged through a mouthful of steak.

She nodded her head and went back to picking at her food while MacCready polished his off and began reassembling his rifle, the smell of gun oil hanging heavily in the air. She kind of liked it.

”By the way, I’ve been doing some thinking.”

Autumn paused mid-chew, and swallowed hurriedly, causing herself to start coughing violently when it went down the wrong way. “W-what about?” She asked, eyes streaming. MacCready rubbed his mouth to try and hide the fact that he was grinning.

”Relax, it’s nothing bad. It’s about last night, what you did for me getting rid of the Gunners. I guess I owe you a favour now. After all, you hired me but I’m the one that dragged you into all this.”

Autumn put up a hand to stop him talking before he could go any further.

”You didn’t drag me into anything, MacCready, and you don’t owe me a damn thing. You clearly needed the help, so I gave it, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Besides, you’re already going the extra mile for me just by sticking around despite my, uh, _family troubles._ ”

He nodded his head, but she could tell he wasn’t really taking in a word she was saying and she sighed indignantly.

”Sure, but I like everything to remain nice and even, and you’re one up on me. So, I’ll tell you what I'm gonna do. I’m going to give back the caps you paid me back in Goodneighbor. I’ll stick with you like I promised, that was our original agreement, but now we’re even.”

Autumn gaped soundlessly at him as he pulled out the pouch full of caps that she’d given him from his pocket and slid it across the table towards her. She honestly didn’t know which was more surprising: that he was giving her the caps back, or that he even had any caps left.

”MacCready, no. I can’t take this after all you’ve done. To be perfectly honest with you, the caps aren’t even mine! Hancock gave them to me so that I could hire you in the first place. (“I knew it.” MacCready grinned quietly.) At least keep them for teaching me how to shoot if nothing else.” She argued, trying to slide the pouch back over to him. But he stopped it with his palm.

”Saving me from a bunch of maniacs like them is worth _far_ more than a few weeks worth of shooting lessons. Please, just take the caps.” He insisted. Surprising her when his hand brushed past the pouch and closed around hers.

She felt her cheeks burn hot. There was a strange knot in her stomach, one that she hadn’t felt since... since she first met Nate.

”Well, have I come at a bad time?”

They both jumped and pulled their hands back, turning their faces upward to see Nick standing over them with a deliberate smile on his face.

”Nick!” Autumn yelped, hopping to her feet. “What’re you doing here? Did you find-“

”I’m sorry it took me a while, kid. But I finally managed to uncover a file that proved that Kellogg relocated here to Diamond City a couple of years ago, and that he had a child with him.” Nick related, striking up a cigarette as he spoke.

”A child?” She repeated hopefully. Nick nodded his head, but his expression didn’t look overly pleased.

”Yes, a young boy. But all the documents I found mentioned that the boy was around ten years old. You said your son was less than a year old, right?”

”I... Yeah, barely six months,” She replied, a little deflated. “But it’s the only lead we have so far, right? Where does he live? I can’t believe he’s been right under my nose this whole fucking time!”

”Hold on there. He doesn’t live here anymore. Packed up and left about six months ago. But I managed to follow a trail of his and it led me to old Fort Hagen, know of it?”

Autumn nodded slowly, the memories coming back to her. “Nate spent a lot of time there with work, I sometimes went there to pick him up, or when there was a formal gathering being held. This is where Kellogg’s hiding right now?” She asked, her voice suddenly hard and decided.

”It looks like it. If you have time we can go there no-“

”Give me ten minutes. We’ll meet you at the gate.” She replied quickly, heading back inside the Dugout Inn with MacCready in tow. “How’s that elbow?” She called over her shoulder when they entered their room and began throwing their belongings together.

”Good as new,” He grinned, dragging his duster over his shoulders. “You remember everything I taught you?” He added as she loaded her gun and counted her ammo.

”If not, I’ll take just as much pleasure in beating the bastard to death with my bare hands.” She growled, attaching her holster to her hip and piling her belongings unceremoniously into her bag. Lastly, she grabbed her coat and turned back towards the door, but before she could leave, MacCready grabbed her arm.

”Look, before we go... I get that this is something deeply personal to you, and I know it’s not been easy, with everything you’ve gone through. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is... Be careful. Don’t go rushing into anything half cocked, or it might get you killed.”

”It’s not me getting killed that I’m thinking about right now.” She replied coldly, tugging her arm back and pulling on her coat, realising as she did that her hand had the lingering scent of MacCready’s gun oil on it and hastily dropping her arm back to her side.

”It’s not what _you’re_ thinking about, but it’s what _I’m_ thinking about,” He said seriously. “I’m all for you getting your revenge, but just don’t get yourself killed before you can find your son. Consider that another lesson.”

He was right of course. She’d been so preoccupied with her desire for revenge that she hadn’t stopped to think about what would happen if she got herself killed along the way. Or maybe it was that she just didn’t care anymore? She thought back to last night, how she’d run headlong into danger without a moment’s hesitation and actually got some kind of a kick out of it.

Either way, she nodded her head and opened the door to leave, but not before looking back over her shoulder at him and saying: “Thanks MacCready. I don’t exactly have a lot of friends these days, but I’m pretty lucky that you’re one of them.”

As the three of them walked out of Diamond City side by side, Autumn felt her chest constrict with nerves, her head swam with all of the possible outcomes of her upcoming encounter and her legs seemed to grow heavier with each step she took. But her heart was pure, unrelenting fire. One that had ignited the day she thawed out.

Shaun was so damn close now, and she would find him one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn’t love a bit of filler?
> 
> Plenty of action coming up in the next chapter, stay tuned and thanks for reading!


	9. The most resilient woman in the Commonwealth

MacCready had to hand it to Kellogg: He sure knew how to pick his secret hideouts.

Fort Hagen wasn’t much to look at from the outside, just another run down old military facility, and those were a dime a dozen in the Commonwealth. Part of the complex had collapsed completely to the ground and there didn’t appear to be any signs of life anywhere. But the moment that he, Autumn and Nick approached the main entrance, they were set upon by motion controlled turrets. Easily dealt with, not so easy on the heart rate, and it only got worse from there.

After another demonstration of Autumn’s impressive lockpicking skills, they found themselves inside what looked like the old fort offices. A collection of cubicles and strategic meeting rooms that had been blasted into one large room littered with debris and the bodies of long dead servicemen and women.

And then, there was the synths.

Unlike Nick, who came complete with his own catchphrases and... clothes, these synths were all metal and no personality. Well, unless you consider murder a personality.

That’s what MacCready told Autumn at least once they’d taken them down. She seemed to get a kick out of that for about two seconds before a steely kind of calm fell over her. She’d said very little since they set off from Diamond City, but he could tell by the tightness of her jaw and the little crease between her brows that she was thinking hard about what was to come, whether that was with anticipation or fear he couldn’t say. But he couldn’t deny that he kind of envied her for having someone to focus all of her anger and pain towards, all he had to do that to was himself.

Once they’d cleared the upper offices, they started making their way down to the basement, and from there even further underground to where the old bunkers lay. The synths kept coming in greater numbers as they made their way deeper into the fort, Kellogg quite clearly didn’t enjoy having guests. MacCready led up the attack from the front while Autumn and Nick picked the rest off from a safe distance, a technique that worked well. Autumn even nailed her first headshot, shocking him as the synths head he was aiming at exploded in a mess of wires and sparks without him pulling the trigger, and when he spun around, it was to see Autumn smiling at him with a mixture of triumph and disbelief, her pistol raised over his shoulder.

” _Holy cra_ -uh... good shot.” He congratulated as both he and Nick looked at each other incredulously.

”What can I say? My teacher is pretty decent.” She said with that lopsided grin as she walked towards the door at the end of the corridor, high fiving him on the way past.

”Well, if it isn’t my old friend the frozen TV dinner. Last time we met, you were cozying up to the frozen peas and apple cobbler.”

He watched the colour drain from Autumn’s face as she froze with her hand on the door, Kellogg’s voice echoing loudly down the corridor. A deep rasp that went right through him and made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end

”Sorry your house has been a wreck for two hundred years. But I don’t need a roommate. Leave.” Kellogg drawled, sounding more inconvenienced than threatened.

That seemed to spur Autumn into a response, because she slammed her hand against the door, throwing it wide open before she stormed through, MacCready and Nick rushing after her.

”Remember what I said about going in half-cocked. He’s trying to get a reaction out of you, don’t let him inside your head.” He muttered quietly so that only she could hear. Autumn nodded abruptly, and tried to calm her agitated breathing as they moved hurriedly along corridors and down flights of stairs, pausing regularly to dispatch the synths that Kellogg sent to try and stop them.

”It’s not too late. Stop. Turn around, and leave. You have that option. Not a lot of people can say that.” Kellogg warned over the speakers as they mowed down another wave of synths and headed deeper still into the facility.

”Not fucking likely, you bastard!” Autumn growled in response, her voice quavering slightly in anger. An anger so raw that it was almost painful to hear.

”Why’d they build this thing so deep?” MacCready asked as they walked through a tired looking mess hall with mouldy old trays scattered on the tables and floor.

”They were built with the idea that should there be a nuclear attack, the soldiers on site come come down here and be protected from the bombs.” Said Nick, stepping over a skeleton dressed in tattered old military fatigues.

”That’s what Nate told me too, though really, he thought that it was just so they’d all be buried in one place. To make their bodies easier to find should anyone come looking.” Mumbled Autumn.

”Cynical man, your husband was. Smart too.” Replied Nick with a hint of a smirk.

”Yeah, he was, must be where my own cynicism comes from.” She laughed curtly.

After another twenty minutes of fighting their way past synths and the occasional turret, they found their way into a large circular room that looked as though it had once been reserved for the commanding officers at Fort Hagen. Compared to the rest of the facility, it was in surprisingly good condition, and recently used too. There was a bowl of stew sitting on the table, alongside a still burning cigarette.

“Oops, we must have interrupted his lunch.” Smirked Autumn, waltzing over to the door and trying the handle: locked, obviously. And no keyhole for her to pick either.

”We could try blasting our way through?” Suggested MacCready, turning to Nick who nodded his agreement. But before he could remove his bag and start handing out grenades, Kellogg spoke up again.

”Okay, okay, you made it. I’m just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let’s talk.”

There was a loud click, followed by the door swinging open to the next room. Autumn glanced at MacCready for just a second, then led the way through the door.

_Damn, that’s a lot more synths than I’m comfortable with._

There were at least a dozen of them, well spread throughout the room. But so were there plenty of hard wooden tables to cover behind, they just had to be quick enough to duck down behind them. And there, in the middle of it all, stood Kellogg. A smug grin stretched over his aged face.

”And there she is. The most resilient woman in the Commonwealth.” He declared with open arms as Autumn approached him. MacCready set about trying to work out a strategy for the inevitable shoot out that was to come. Ready to drag her under the closest desk if anybody raised their weapon to her.

And then Autumn punched Kellogg in the face.

What was that about not going into things half-cocked?

_Why do I even bother telling her not to do something? She never fucking listens to me!_

Both MacCready and Nick raised their weapons, expecting the synths to do the same. But they didn’t move an inch. In fact, Kellogg was chuckling roughly as he rubbed his jaw, while Autumn’s face was contorted with rage.

”Alright. I guess you’re owed that one.”

”You murdering, kidnapping psychopath. Give me my son. Give me Shaun! _Now!_ ” She snarled, her hand clutching her pistol which was still in its holster. MacCready kept his gun trained on Kellogg, hoping that he wouldn’t try to pull a fast one. Not because he was worried that he might hurt Autumn, but because he knew that she’d never forgive him if he took away her chance to kill Kellogg herself.

Kellogg sighed and leaned back against a nearby desk, he sounded a little disappointed. His easy-going manner was equal parts unsettling and infuriating and MacCready could only imagine the way it ate away at Autumn.

”Right to it then, huh? Ok, fine. Your son, Shaun. Great kid. A little older than you may have expected. But if you’re hoping for a happy reunion, ain’t gonna happen. Your boy’s not here.”

”Where. Is. He?” She demanded, her voice low and threatening and downright dangerous.

Kellogg only shook his head. He was way too calm, it wasn’t right.

”Your son is exactly where he belongs. He’s home. In the Institute.”

MacCready felt his heart drop. He’d had a bad feeling since the moment he first laid eyes on the synths. But to hear it confirmed...

_Shit! This just went from complicated, to downright impossible!_

But Autumn seemed to not understand the implications of what Kellogg had just told her. In fact, she only seemed to become more pissed off.

”The Institute? Well, I’ll find him, no matter where he is. Nothing will stop me.”

Kellogg barked out a laugh at that. A rough, throaty chuckle that made MacCready’s blood boil.

”God, you’re persistent, I give you credit. It’s the way a mother should act. The way I’d be acting if I were in your place, I like to think. Even if it is useless. But I think we’ve been talking long enough. We both know how this has to end. So, you ready?”

Autumn took a step back, drawing her pistol at last. Her face completely expressionless as she regarded Kellogg one last time.

”Y’know, in a hundred years when I finally die, I only hope I go to Hell so I can kill you all over again, you piece of shit.” she said, her voice dripping with venom as she raised her pistol and fired at Kellogg’s head.

All at once everything erupted into chaos. Kellogg dodged her shot at the last possible second, the bullet grazing the side of his head, before the synths sprang into action. Autumn, MacCready and Nick all dived behind separate desks, each of them taking every opportunity presented to them to duck out of cover and take the synths down, one by one. But where one synth fell, Another was on them in a heartbeat.

”Where’s Kellogg?!” Autumn shouted amidst the din, clutching her chest in fright as a bullet flew past her, narrowly missing her neck. MacCready peered out of cover and scanned the room, but there was no sign of the mercenary. Then he saw it. Only for a split second, but long enough to dive out the way before a bullet embedded itself in the desk where his head had been mere seconds ago.

” _Shi-_ He has a stealth boy!” He shouted at them both.

”A _what?!_ ” Came her response.

_You’ve gotta be kidding me._

Just then, he saw it again, a brief shimmer of light at the other side of the room... it was covered in blood. Looks like Autumn’s bullet had done more damage than he thought, and Kellogg was staggering around the room ordering the rest of the synths to finish them off.

”MacCready, watch out!”

In his search for Kellogg, he hadn’t noticed the synth racing towards him with a stun baton in its hands, raised towards his head. He felt a hand suddenly grab hold of the back of his duster and pull him roughly to the floor and he looked up to see Autumn crouched over him protectively... but the synth was still coming.

She had no time to raise and fire her weapon as the synth swung at her, so instead she threw her free arm across her face, grabbing the baton with her bare hand. She screamed loudly in agony and dropped her gun, scrambling for it as the synth raised its arm a second time. But before it could bring the baton down across her face, its arm flew off, then its back panels, then finally its head.

”You kids need to be more careful!” Called out Nick with a tip of his hat. As he rushed from cover to cover, mowing down synths with expert precision.

_This guy could give me a run for my money!_

Autumn was already on her feet. Cradling her injured hand against her chest while using her right hand to shoot. He saw her flinch every time the recoil shook her body, but she didn’t stop firing.

Kellogg eventually reappeared, his stealth boy having run out, and was shooting wildly in their direction, coming painfully close to hitting Nick at one point. But finally, a combination of a shot to the knee by Autumn and a well placed shot in the chest by MacCready put Kellogg down, coughing and wheezing on the floor while Autumn approached him slowly, pure hatred and contempt in her eyes as she stood over the dying mercenary.

”I should have just killed you while you were still on ice. Do- doesn’t matter though. They’ll kill you anyway. The- the Institute will k- kill you all!” Kellogg spat through a mouthful of blood. Autumn stamped on his knee. Hard. Causing him to grit his teeth and whimper in pain.

”Just let them fucking try.” She growled, pointing her gun at his head and firing a single bullet into it. Kellogg’s head snapped back and he moved no more.

For a moment, no one said a word. The only sound to break the uneasy silence was that of broken mechanics and wires buzzing quietly around them. Autumn sat down on one of the unbroken desks and held up her hand to assess the damage done to it by the stun baton. Her whole arm was shaking horribly and her palm was burned pretty badly. She shifted her bag off her shoulder and clumsily began searching through it for medical supplies.

”Here. Let me do that.” MacCready said gently, taking the stimpak from her hands. He pulled a bottle of purified water from his own bag and soaked a cloth in it, just like she’d done for him so many weeks ago.

”I thought you said that was a waste of clean water?” Autumn commented with a raised brow, wincing a little as he pressed the cloth to her palm, wiping away the blood as gently as he could.

”Well, maybe I just don’t want you to get an infection.” He replied with the faintest grin before his face dropped completely as the memory of her shielding him from the synth attack played through his mind again, the sound of her scream echoing in his brain made his stomach feel queasy.

”Why’d you do that anyway?” He asked, picking up the stimpak and injecting it into her palm. She gasped in pain and turned her face away as she waited for it to subside.

”You’re my friend,” she said after a few seconds silence, her voice thick and strained. “I couldn’t just watch while you were...”

She broke off and just shook her head. MacCready finished wrapping her hand up in silence while Nick poked around the room... and Kellogg’s head.

”Damn, all these cybernetic enhancements, this guy was almost as synth as I am. Check this little gizmo out.”

He pulled a component from Kellogg’s head off, making MacCready scrunch his nose in disgust, and held it out for them to see.

”What’re we looking at, Nick?” Autumn sighed, her nose also wrinkled as she observed the flecks of flesh and blood attached to the tiny electrical piece.

”This, children, is what’s known as a cybernetic brain augmenter. Basically a robotic version of the brain, works exactly the same way.”

”So, how does this help us?” She asked, suddenly looking far more interested in what Nick was saying. Nick grinned triumphantly at the little component in his hand.

”Well, just as your own brain can store visual and audial memories, this brain augmenter can do the exact same thing. Even better really, as it doesn’t rot the same way organic minds do with age, and despite the fact that it’s owner is dust, his memories should still be accessible.” He continued, peaking both MacCready’s and Autumn’s interest.

”So, if we find a way to hook this thing up, we can get a look at Kellogg’s memories?” MacCready surmised enthusiastically.

”And from there find out where Shaun is!” Autumn added.

”That. Or, we at least find out how to get to him. And I think I know someone who can help us.”


	10. I take it this isn’t a social call?

The Institute. The Commonwealth boogeyman. They were the enemy that Autumn had been searching for this whole time. Kellogg committed the crime of murdering Nate and stealing Shaun from her, but he was taking orders from a higher power and was history now. Her attention had to move elsewhere: onto the people who’d ordered Shaun’s kidnapping in the first place.

Nick and MacCready gave her a little history lesson on the Institute and their dealings on their way back to Goodneighbor, although, not much was known about them. Apparently, Nick was one of their earliest successes: A robot with a human personality. Why he was created, nobody knows. But, as time wore on, the Institute developed greater versions of their original prototype (“Those being the rusted old bucket heads we fought back at the fort” MacCready chimed in.), finally releasing their most recent, and most dangerous creation: the Gen 3 synth. Completely indistinguishable from real human beings, which is what makes them so frightening. That, and the fact that the Institute has lately taken to replacing people with Gen 3 copies of themselves, causing widespread panic and paranoia across the Commonwealth.

”But why would they kidnap a baby if they weren’t even going to replace it? Why go through all the trouble of breaking into a sealed vault for one child?” Autumn asked to shrugged shoulders from the pair of them.

She felt so disheartened. For every question she’d had answered (which really wasn’t very many in the first place), at least a dozen more had replaced it. Who were the Institute? What were their goals? And where did Shaun come into all of this?

Goodneighbor had a strangely homey feeling to it, Autumn had decided when they entered the gates. Whereas in Diamond City, the traders would grudgingly sell you their wares in the middle of accusing you of being a synth spy, here the settlers would offer you a hit of jet on your way past and you could sell your goods without being put on trial for espionage.

_Figures, the high and mighty of the world treat you like complete garbage, while those who don’t have a lot will still share with a complete stranger. Some things just don’t change, bombs or not._

Nick had told them about a woman in Goodneighbor who might be able to help them crack open Kellogg’s memories. A woman named Doctor Amari. Autumn couldn’t help but ask herself with a smirk which University she’d garnered that title from, and although she was keen and ready to jump straight into the next step of their journey, Nick stubbornly insisted that they all take the rest of the night off to recharge their batteries (she refrained from laughing only because she wasn’t quite sure whether he meant that literally or not), and infuriatingly, MacCready agreed with him.

”C’mon boss, you’re clearly exhausted, it’s been a long couple of days for all of us. The rest will do you good.” He insisted even as Autumn stifled a yawn with the back of her hand.

”Don’t be stupid. I’m perfectly fine!” She protested, even as he walked them over to the Rexford Hotel and put down enough caps for two rooms.

”I can’t wait to sleep in an actual bed for once.” He yawned, catching Autumn’s eye as she huffed out an amused breath. “Not that I minded you taking the bed in the Dugout Inn, I mean. It’s just-“

”Quit worrying about it, hot shot!” She said over her shoulder as she walked on ahead to the foot of the stairs, wincing as she made to grab the bannister with her bandaged hand. MacCready had told her that stimpaks are a little bit temperamental when used on hands and feet, so it may take some time for her injury to heal fully.

_Great, I finally start improving my shooting skills and now my beat up hand has pushed me right back to square one._

She bid MacCready goodnight at her room and threw herself down on the bed as soon as it came within sight, throwing off her coat and boots as she did. She couldn’t deny that after the excitement of the past few days, coupled with very little sleep in between, it felt like heaven to sink into this large, albeit slightly pungent mattress, and it would seem that she was a lot more tired than she realised, because she fell asleep almost instantly.

She dreamt that she was back in the vault, sitting on the floor alone, shivering in the dark. She looked around and saw a body on the floor ahead of her, their face hidden in the shadows. Getting hesitantly to her feet, she crossed the room and saw that it was Kellogg’s body in front of her, a large bullet hole in his head that she’d been responsible for. She looked down at her hands and realised that she was holding the gun. Funny, that hadn’t been there a second ago.

She looked away from the gun back at Kellogg. Only, it wasn’t Kellogg anymore, it was Nate lying dead on the floor.

Her cry of shock turned to despair when she realised that _she_ must have been the one who shot him, and she turned away from him with her head in her hands, dropping the gun on the floor.

_Nononono, it wasn’t me! I’m sorry Nate, I’m so sorry!_

_”Autumn.”_

She spun back around and saw that Nate’s body was gone, and in his place stood MacCready. The same bullet hole now in his own head.

Her cry of pain echoed loudly throughout the vault as she watched the blood slowly ooze down his face.

_I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt, please forgive me!_

Tears streamed down her face as she rushed towards him and hugged him tight. He couldn’t die, he just couldn’t!

_Please, don’t leave me. Not now!_

_”Wake up, Autumn.”_ He soothed. 

_What?_

”Wake up!”

She awoke with a start. It was morning already and faint rays of light were spilling in through the gaps in the shutters and blinds. Autumn stared wildly around the room and realised that MacCready was crouched by the side of her bed with his hand clasped around her arm.

”Hey.” She said stupidly, suddenly realising that her cheeks were wet and turning away hurriedly to dry them.

”Uh, are you alright? Sounded like a hell of a nightmare.” He noted, standing up and glancing down at his feet awkwardly while she composed herself.

”I... Yeah I’m fine.” She muttered, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palm.

”Are you sure? ‘Cause you sounded like-“

”I said I’m _fine,_ Mac.” She said sharply. Getting to her feet and grabbing some clean clothes from her bag before heading to the bathroom to change so that she didn’t have to feel MacCready’s pitying eyes on her back. “Is Nick here yet?” She called out as she pulled her shirt over her head.

”I don’t think so, I came straight here when I woke up,” Came MacCready’s reply from the other room. “I thought we could get some food before he arrives.” He suggested, as she left the bathroom, buttoning up her shirt. She noticed that he was eyeing her up as she crossed the room and for a moment was kind of... flattered. But then she thought about what he’d just said and her flattery turned to annoyance.

Autumn was painfully aware of how skinny she was. She’d always been slender, even as a child. But the stress of the last few months, coupled with the difficulty of finding proper nourishment out in the wasteland had done her body no favours. Still...

”I’m not hungry, we should just head to the Memory Den.” She replied, cursing her stomach as it started grumbling loudly in the middle of her sentence, prompting MacCready to start laughing.

”Nice try. C’mon.”

She groaned in frustration as MacCready opened the bedroom door and led her back downstairs and outside towards the Third Rail. It was another unseasonably warm morning, and Autumn was at loathe to enter the cold, dimly lit subway station-come-bar for the sake of a piss-poor breakfast, but MacCready insisted that she eat something and stayed with her until she’d eaten every last bite of her tatos and grilled radstag. She told herself that it came from a place of care, but tell that to her protesting stomach, which turned unpleasantly with every other bite she took.

It was well past midday by the time Nick turned up in town. Autumn and MacCready were sat outside on a bench with a beer each, and she was trying to guess which movie and pop culture references had survived the last two hundred years. MacCready had suggested turning it into a drinking game, but she shot him down.

”I want to at least be coherent when we meet up with Amari.”

”Aha! So you think I’d win!” He exclaimed, pointing a finger at her accusingly. Autumn laughed and placed a patronising hand on his shoulder.

”Oh, sweetie. I wouldn’t be coherent, but _you_ wouldn’t be breathing.” She grinned threateningly.

”You need help dumping the body?” Asked Nick as he approached. Autumn squinted up at him and chuckled lightly at MacCready’s unimpressed glare.

”Nah, I could get him over my shoulders easily. You ready for this, Nick?” She asked, suddenly business like. Taking a final swig of beer before ditching the bottle. Nick nodded affirmatively, and the three of them walked side by side into the Memory Den.

”Now, Just let me do the talking. Doctor Amari can be a little prickly, best not to get on her bad side.” Nick warned as they descended the stairs into Amari’s workspace.

”Detective Valentine. I take it this isn’t a social call?” Said Doctor Amari by way of greeting, eyeing both Autumn and MacCready disapprovingly as they filed in the room behind Nick. She was a shrewd looking woman, with sharp features and a frown that kind of reminded Autumn of her eighth grade science teacher.

 _Never did like that miserable old cow._ She thought distractedly.

”I wish I could say it was Doc. We need your help. We need to extract the memories from a man named Kellogg, but there’s a slight set back...”

”There was a twenty minute delay while they brought Doctor Amari up to speed with what they’d been doing. Autumn was desperate to just get on with whatever it is they needed to do, so she was praying that Amari was the ‘quick to learn’ type.

_Praying, huh. Don’t have much use for prayer, these days._

At first, Amari refused, point blank. Ranting to them all about defiling corpses and the impossibility of what they were asking her to do. But Nick had a very special way with words, Autumn supposed that’s what happens when you have over a hundred years investigative experience.

”This dead brain had knowledge of the Institute, Amari. The biggest scientific secret of the Commonwealth. You need this, and so do we.” Nick said, emphasising heavily on the word _need._ Amari gave them all a hard look, her lips pressed into a tight line. Then, she sighed heavily and walked back over to her desk to put on a pair of latex gloves.

”Do you have it with you?” She asked, holding out her hands impatiently.

”Here’s... what we found.” Said Nick, handing over the cybernetic brain augmenter that he’d plucked from Kellogg. Doctor Amari’s brow furrowed as she observed the tiny metal brain in her hands, but she asked no questions as she took it back over to her desk.

”I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She grumbled quietly as she set it under a microscope to study. There was a lot of _hmm-ing_ and _uh huh-ing_ from her as she examined the piece. Autumn leaned against the wall, tapping her foot impatiently, while MacCready was playing with a stray thread on his duster. Then she called Nick over to look at something.

”Those circuits look awfully familiar.” Noted Nick, to a favourable nod from Doctor Amari.

”I’m not surprised. From what I’ve seen, all Institute technology has similar architecture. Hmm...”

Amari stared thoughtfully at Nick, then back at the brain.

”Give it to me straight, Doc. What are you thinking?”

”There may be a way to access the memories inside this augmenter. But for it to work, we first need to hook it up to a compatible port... assuming you’re willing to take on the risks.” She added with a meaningful look at Nick, who appeared completely unruffled by the suggestion.

”Hell, why not? Plenty of room in my head anyway.” He shrugged, removing his hat and placing it on the table. Autumn finally clicked as to what they were talking about.

”Wait a minute,” She interrupted, crossing the room towards Nick and grabbing his shoulder. “Are you serious, Nick? This is a piece of _Kellogg!_ You shouldn’t have that thing anywhere near your brain.” She exclaimed. To be by her side while she exacted her revenge on Kellogg was one thing. But to voluntarily hook himself up to that psychopath’s brain was a completely different matter.

Nick smiled reassuringly and placed his metal hand over the one that was resting on his shoulder. “Then what would you suggest, doll? You don’t need to worry about me, I’m a hell of a lot tougher than I look. Besides, I agreed to help you find your son, didn’t I? Wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t investigate every lead I came across.”

”Whenever you’re ready, Detective, just sit down.” Amari interjected.

”If I start cackling like an old, grizzled mercenary, pull me out. Ok?” He joked to a wry smile from Autumn before he sat down and allowed Doctor Amari to begin her work. Once he was all hooked up, she went to her terminal and spent the next few minutes typing feverishly on the keyboard.

”I need you to keep talking to me Detective Valentine. Any slight change in your cognitive functions could be dire. Are you feeling any different?”

”There’s a lot of flashes... static. I can’t make sense of any of it, Doc.” He replied hazily, much to Autumn’s great concern.

”Hm, that’s what I was afraid of. The mnemonic impressions are coded.” Doctor Amari sighed in frustration. Autumn and MacCready both exchanged equally bewildered glances.

”Speak English, Doc. We don’t all have a degree in biology.” Grunted MacCready in annoyance, earning himself a reproving glare from Doctor Amari.

”What I mean is that it appears as though the Institute have one last fail safe. There’s a lock on the memories in the implant.” She explained, meaning that now Autumn was only seventy five percent completely fucking lost.

”Well, can’t we... _unlock_ them?” She asked hopefully.

Doctor Amari sat back in her chair, rubbing her jaw in thought. She was giving Autumn the same meaningful look that she’d given Nick mere minutes ago.

”A single mind won’t be able to crack this. It’s completely impossible. But, what if we used two?”

There was an awkwardly long pause in the room as Autumn processed what the Doctor was telling her. She was struck with the sudden urge to laugh as the silence reminded her exactly of the moment she found out that she was expecting Shaun. The term ‘pregnant pause’ had never been more appropriate.

When she didn’t respond. Amari tried again to explain. ”What I’m suggesting is that we load both you and Detective Valentine into the memory loungers. Run your cognitive functions in parallel.”

”No.”

Autumn had opened her mouth to reply, but it wasn’t her who spoke. She turned slowly on the spot to look at MacCready, whose whole face was lined with worry.

”This isn’t your decision, MacCready.” She said quietly.

”Look, hooking Nick up to that thing is bad enough, but you can’t seriously be thinking of doing the same thing?! You said it yourself, this is _Kellogg!_ ”

She supposed it was pretty hypocritical of her to want to take a nose dive into Kellogg’s memories when she’d specifically told Nick not five minutes ago that she didn’t want him doing the same. But then, she cared about Nick. Herself, not so much.

Autumn placed her good hand on MacCready’s arm, stroking it lightly with her thumb with a half-smile that she liked to think made her look confident.

”It’s really sweet that you care, y’know. But this is something I have to do. If you had a son, you’d understand.” She said softly. Releasing his arm and turning to the empty memory lounger. It was awfully small, a bit like the cryo pod had been.

”Now, you’re not gonna lock me up in here and freeze me for two hundred years, are you?” She joked as she climbed into the pod, trying to ignore the horrible sense of claustrophobia that came over her as the door shut around her. Doctor Amari actually laughed a little as she began typing at her terminal again.

”I wouldn’t even if I knew how. Now, you just sit tight while I make some adjustments, I’ll be monitoring your vitals throughout.”

MacCready approached her pod, that worried crease still prominent on his brow. She tried to smile, but it seemed like she’d forgotten how. Instead, she rested her head against the back of the chair and tried to focus her breathing. But everything she did, every breath, every movement reminded her of the pods.

_Quit worrying, MacCready’s right here. He won’t let anything bad happen to you. Right?_

”Alright, hold on. I’m going to upload you into the strongest memories I can find. They might not be stable. Just, hold on.”

Everything was going dark again, it was cold, she could feel her breathing slow against her will, her heart was racing. Then suddenly she was there, in Kellogg’s memory. Only, they’d gone _way_ too far back, he was only a young boy. At home playing with a beat up old toy rocket. Autumn kind of wished she hadn’t seen that. It was interfering with her whole ’Kellogg is a murderous bastard and was clearly born that way’ characterisation.

But, as it turns out, Kellogg had a pretty depressing life, an abusive drunk for a father, bad dealings with gangs, the usual ‘murderer in training’ sort of upbringing. But then they stumbled across a memory from his life that really got to her. He’d had a family once. A beautiful wife and baby girl, killed by one of the many enemies he’d made back in San Francisco. She thought she might feel at least the smallest iota of sympathy for the guy, knowing what she now knew. But instead, it only made her angrier.

_He knew the pain of losing his entire family so well, yet he put my own family through the same thing anyway!_

On and on the memories went, right up to his first meeting with the Institute. And while this insightful tour of Kellogg’s life was certainly interesting, it was still yet to reveal anything crucial that could point them to Shaun, or the location of the Institute.

Then she entered a new memory. He was leading a group of what looked like scientists through the corridors of a vault, it was dark and decrepit, and uncomfortably familiar. Given that she was seeing these memories through Kellogg’s eyes, she had no freedom to look at her surroundings outside of what was in his field of view. But when he turned his head to look at the fading number _111_ on the wall, she knew that the sickly tightening of her chest was entirely her own.

_No! Oh God, please don’t make me do this again!_


	11. Who else would it be?

“Her blood pressure just shot up.”

MacCready had been leaning against the table watching the events on the monitor unfold a little bored. It turns out that combing through a guy’s memories for a single piece of information sure was tedious work, but his elbow nearly slid off the table in a panic when Doctor Amari spoke up.

”What? Why? What’s wrong with her?” He demanded, his head whipping around to where Autumn lay unconscious in the memory pod, a faint crease had appeared between her brows, like she was having another nightmare.

”I don’t know. These are Kellogg’s memories, but her response to what we’re seeing... it’s almost as though she recognises something in this particular memory.”

MacCready turned back to the screen and took a closer look at what was happening. Kellogg was inside of a vault with a bunch of Institute scientists who all seemed to be looking for something, it all looked pretty unremarkable to him. But it wasn’t until they entered an icy room full of tall pods, each one with a person seemingly asleep inside, that MacCready registered what was happening, and why Autumn was suddenly in so much distress.

”Pull her out.”

Doctor Amari blinked at him in bewilderment. “What did you sa-?“

”I said pull her out! She recognises this memory because she was there. This is where Kellogg kills her husband and kidnaps her son. You can’t force her to go through that again. Pull her out, now!” He repeated harshly to a wide eyed reaction from Doctor Amari.

“I... we can’t. If we pull them out now then all of this will have been for nothing. This brain doesn’t have enough left in it for a second attempt, it’s now or never if we want to find out where they’re keeping her son.”

MacCready bit his his tongue hard and looked over at Autumn. Her breathing was laboured and the crease in her brows was growing more prominent with each passing second, but all he could do was clench his fists uselessly and watch events unfold on the monitor.

Kellogg approached the pod that Nate was trapped in as he woke up, coughing and shivering. He was a good looking guy. Dark haired and well muscled. Indeed, the size of his arms made the tiny baby he was cradling look even smaller. Shaun was crying loudly, must have been the shock of everything going on around him. One of the scientists tried to take him from Nate’s arms, but he refused. Struggling to keep a hold of his son even as Kellogg aimed his gun at his head and demanded he release the child.

”I’m not giving you Shaun!” He cried definitely.

The gun went off.

There was a muffled scream that MacCready knew belonged to Autumn as Nate slumped in his seat, releasing his grip on Shaun as the unknown woman took him in her arms, lulling him back to sleep. Kellogg stared at Nate for a moment before barking orders for the rest of the party to leave, then he approached the pod that Autumn was trapped in.

She didn’t look like the Autumn he knew, her face was fuller and free of scars and dark circles. But the pain on her face was worse than any other sorry state he’d ever seen her in. She shook uncontrollably and tears poured down her face as she slammed her fists against the glass in a vain attempt to escape, screaming incoherently at the man in front of her.

”At least we have the backup.” Kellogg growled before turning away back towards the exit.

MacCready tore his eyes away from the screen. He felt sick. This was too much, way too close to home. Again, his eyes fell on Autumn’s unconscious form in the lounger. Tears were now falling silently down her cheeks, he felt like he’d failed her. He was hired to watch her back and keep her safe, and now...

_Dammit! It was her idea to go ahead with the stupid plan in the first place!_

But as much as he wanted to be angry with her, his heart just wasn’t in it. He couldn’t help but remind himself of what she’d told him before she entered the pod.

_“If you had a son, you’d understand.”_

He wished he could tell her... but she’d never understand his reasons.

He watched the rest of the memories unfold numbly. Kellogg was charged with looking after a ten year old Shaun for a time in Diamond City, claiming it to be somebody’s ‘pet project,’ whatever that meant. Shaun seemed like a happy child at least, sat on the floor of the dingy little house they shared, humming and reading comic books. He looked a lot like Autumn, the same auburn hair and deep green eyes. MacCready wondered what she was thinking right now watching her son like this.

_She’s probably thinking that she’s missed ten whole years of her son’s life, you idiot!_

Then a tall man dressed in a black coursers ensemble entered the house they were living in. He started blabbing on about some Institute scientist that had run away and told Kellogg that he would be taking Shaun back to the Institute while he went to look for him. MacCready was barely paying any attention anymore, that is, until both Shaun and the courser vanished in a flash of blue light.

”What the fu-“

”Alright, I’m pulling you both out now.” Declared Doctor Amari, Who was back to typing rapidly at her terminal. Nick woke up fist, shaking his head and pulling the wire out that was connecting him to Kellogg’s brain.

”Are you alright, Detective?” Amari asked, helping him to his feet.

”Course I am! It’ll take a lot more than that to take me out. I, uh, think I’ll take a seat outside though for five minutes.” He said tiredly, leaving the room without another word. MacCready would have been a little concerned were it not for the fact that Autumn was yet to wake up.

”Step aside.” Doctor Amari barked at MacCready as the memory pod door flew open. She grabbed Autumn’s arm and injected her with a stimpak as she began to stir, causing her to flinch weakly.

”There. That should keep any adverse side effects at bay.” She proclaimed, going back to her terminal to continue monitoring her vitals.

”Should?”

”Well, this _is_ uncharted territory. I really have no idea what to expect.” She replied bluntly. “Alright now, dear. Slow movements.”

Autumn’s eyes opened slowly, she stared at the blank screen in front of her for a brief moment before getting up, wiping away the tears that streaked her cheeks with the back of her hand as she did. Her movements were lethargic and clumsy as she stepped out of the pod, MacCready made to take her arm and assist her, but she shook her head and immediately clamped a hand against her forehead in discomfort.

”How do you feel?” Doctor Amari asked, walking over to her and holding out a can of purified water.

”I have this... burning feeling inside my skull. It’s like it’s on fire.” She mumbled thickly, grabbing the can and taking a tentative sip. Doctor Amari nodded her head and made an affirmative grunting sound.

”That’s not surprising. All of the synapses in your brain have just been pulled apart, connected to someone else, and then pulled back together. That stimpak I gave you should kick in soon.” She paused and looked at the floor a little awkwardly before adding: “Your memories of Vault 111... I’m so sorry we put you through that again.”

Autumn just waved her hand dismissively. “S’fine, we got what we came for. We know now how the Institute moves around.”

”Yes, their greatest secret has finally been revealed! But that only leads to more questions. How does it work? Where do we go next?” Amari wondered out loud, suddenly sounding like an excitable child.

Autumn opened her mouth to reply, but her voice was cut off by a faint gasp of pain, and she replaced her hand on her head. MacCready had seen enough.

”Look, all of this can wait. You need to rest, you’ve just put your body through hell.” He urged, ready to pick her up and carry her out of there if he had to. But for once, she didn’t argue, she gave a small nod and shot an apologetic smile over at Amari.

”He’s right, I need a break. Where’s Nick?”

”He left the room, he can’t have gone far,” Amari crossed the room and handed Autumn some med-x and a bottle of Nuka Cola. “Take these, you need to keep your blood sugar up. The med-x will help with the pain. Come and see me at once if there’s any negative changes to your condition.” She commanded before turning away to again look at Kellogg’s cybernetic brain augmenter, muttering to herself as MacCready ushered her out of the room.

They found Nick sitting in a chair by the entrance, looking a little dazed when they approached, almost confused as to where he was.

”Hey Nick, how’re you feeling?” Asked Autumn gently, leaning over to put a hand on his shoulder while passing him his hat, which he’d left in Doctor Amari’s lab, with the other. He turned to look at her, his mouth twisting into a venomous sneer, and his metal hand shot out to grab her arm.

”Ow, hey! What’re you-?”

”Hope you got what you were lookin’ for inside my head. I was right, should have killed you when you were on ice.” He growled in a voice that wasn’t his own. His usually yellow eyes had turned green and he was looking up at her with complete malice.

What little colour Autumn had regained in her face drained away instantly. She inhaled sharply and yanked her arm back, bumping into MacCready who tried to pull her away from the potential danger. But as quickly as her panic came it went away again, and she smiled sadly, shrugging MacCready’s hand off her arm.

”I wouldn’t change what I did for all the caps in the world, Kellogg. But you should know that I understand, and I forgive you.”

Nick’s face remained cold and hateful for a few seconds longer before he gave his head a shake, blinking up at the pair of them. Yellow eyes replacing green, confusion replacing anger.

”What? What are you talking about?”

Autumn took an uncertain step closer, frowning down at the old Detective. “Uh... is that you, Nick?”

”Course it’s me. Who else would it be?”

”You were talking just like Kellogg a moment ago, scared the heck out of both us.” Replied MacCready to a slightly annoyed sigh from Nick.

”Thought something didn’t feel right when they pulled me out. I heard Doctor Amari muttering something about mnemonic impressions being left over. I didn’t...” He glanced at Autumn uneasily. “I didn’t try to hurt either of you, did I?”

”Of course not, we know you’d never do such a thing.” Autumn lied gently, again placing her hand on his shoulder now that she knew it was safe. That seemed to satisfy Nick, who stood up and took his hat from her.

”Well, in any case, I’m fine. Now, whaddya say we all get the hell out of here?”

They left the Memory Den in silence. They’d been inside for a couple of hours and the sun was hanging low in the sky. Nick made some vague excuse about heading back to Diamond City to check up on another case and disappeared, while Autumn muttered something about wanting to take a shower and began making her way towards the Rexford Hotel. They walked together in complete silence, MacCready hanging back while Autumn climbed the stairs just in case she took a turn and fell. She glanced over her shoulder at him once and, seeing him walking behind her protectively, exhaled sharply in annoyance.

_Oh please. Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the exact same thing if the roles were reversed._

He stuck close by her until she reached her room, racking his brain the entire time to think of something, _anything_ to say before she went inside.

”Hey,” MacCready started before she could shut the door in his face. “Look, Autumn, I just...”

_Just what? Just wanted to say I’m sorry you had to watch your husband be brutally murdered a second time while you sat there paralysed and unable to do anything?_

_I’m sorry your son has grown up not knowing who his parents were while you were frozen in place the whole time?_

”I just want you to know that... we’re gonna find him.” He said eventually. It sounded corny as hell out loud and he knew it. He was no good at this, he wasn’t the type of person who gave out false hope. Normally when someone’s loved one was most likely gone forever, he’d tell them outright. No use in beating about the bush. But he couldn’t do that to Autumn, not when that hope was clearly the only thing keeping her from shattering into a thousand pieces.

_Fuck, I really have gone soft. That’s it, there goes my rep. I’ll never work in this town again. Not that I ever really worked here in the first place, mind._

Autumn gave him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes and nodded politely. ”I appreciate the optimism for once, MacCready. But you really don’t need to tiptoe around me, I’m not completely broken yet.” She said in a small voice before shutting the door, leaving him alone for what felt like the first time in ages. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself right now. His heart ached for the woman stood just on the other side of the door, he was full of confusion and disbelief at everything he’d seen and learned today, and he found himself just staring at the door in front of him, wondering how the fuck he’d wound up a part of all this.

He shuffled off down the corridor to his own room, pulling a face at the familiar smell of damp that hit him as he entered the darkness. Typical that he would get a room without a working light. He felt his way towards his bed, removing everything but his jeans as he did, and threw himself down on it. He lay there for a moment while his eyes adjusted, the sun hadn’t fully set, but the boarded up windows combined with the ugly, tattered drapes plunged him into almost complete darkness and he found himself struggling to see even his hand in front of his face.

He found a stubby candle in the bedside drawer and lit it just so that he didn’t have to sit in the dark all night like some kind of hermit, and pulled out an old comic book from his bag. It was one that he’d read cover to cover plenty of times before and often drew some teasing from people who said that he was “too old for comic books.” Still, it was an escape for him, he enjoyed the pictures and he enjoyed the ridiculous stories. Especially ones where the hero was taken from an otherwise ordinary life and sent on some crazy adventure with an unlikely partner at their back. He couldn’t help but smirk a little when he thought about how much his own life currently imitated an issue of The Unstoppables.

MacCready wasn’t quite sure how long he sat there reading, but night had fallen completely and he’d finished two of his comic books when there was a knock on the door. He jumped at the sudden noise and got out of his bed slowly, tripping over his bag in the process. He threw his shirt over his head hurriedly and crossed the room, cursing under his breath at his now aching toe.

He flung the door open, half expecting (half hoping) that Autumn would be standing there. But instead, there was a rather short, stocky looking man, looking up at him curiously.

”Are you MacCready?”

”Depends who’s asking.” He replied suspiciously, looking the guy up and down for any sign of a weapon, his hand clasped tightly around his pistol that he had concealed behind the door.

 _Better safe than sorry. This_ is _Goodneighbor after all._

The man scoffed at MacCready’s obviously distrust. “Cool your britches, pal. I ain’t here for a fight. Daisy told me to pass this to you, said it arrived ‘bout an hour ago.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled letter, thrusting it at MacCready and leaving without another word. MacCready watched him go for a moment before looking down at the letter in his hands. It was addressed to him alright, but he didn’t recognise the writing. Turning it over in his hands he saw a return address that he also didn’t recognise, but the name there made his breath catch in his throat, and he rushed back into the room, stumbling towards his bed to tear the note open and read it by the dying candlelight.

He read it several times over. Making sure that he hadn’t misunderstood a single word.

_MacCready,_

_...Didn’t make it... got the access codes, meet me at MedTek... save his life... I’ll help you._

_Your friend,  
_Sinclair.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ve been uploading chapters like there’s no tomorrow lately, and the reason for that is when I opened my account I had about 10 chapters (excluding the prologue) written and ready to post (after some tweaking, of course).
> 
> I have now posted all of those chapters and am now continuing to write out the rest of the story. Therefore updates will a little less frequent as I continue to write. I will strive to update as frequently as possible and in the meantime, follow me on my Tumblr EmptyVault
> 
> Thank you again for all your support so far, it means a lot to me! :)


	12. Something’s come up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight canon divergence coming up ladies and gents, plus a whooole lotta filler. (I make no apologies!)

”You alright there, doll?” Nick asked as he approached Autumn outside of Daisy’s store.

She’d been sat there on the wall for most of the morning, a cigarette in one hand and a crumpled up scrap of paper in the other. Every now and then she would smooth it out and read the hastily scribbled words again, trying to make sense of them, trying to make herself understand, before inevitably balling the paper up furiously in her fist again.

_Autumn,_

_I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you to your face - there was no time - something’s come up and I have to go. I don’t know when I’ll be back, I’m sorry._

_RJ MacCready._

She’d found the note under her door when she woke up, and by the time she’d read it and dashed to his room to confront him, MacCready was long gone. Clair, the hotel receptionist, told her that he rushed out some time in the night and she had no clue where, or why.

It made no sense. Why the hell would he just leave like that? He hadn’t given any indication as to his intentions after they left the Memory Den, so had something happened during the night? Or had what he saw in kellogg’s memories just freaked him out to the point where he felt he couldn’t continue travelling with her anymore?

_“Something’s come up.”_

What was it though? What was so damn important that he couldn’t stop and tell her? Didn’t he trust her?

Didn’t he care?

Autumn tried to ignore the anger that bubbled away inside her, tried to push past the feeling of betrayal, but she couldn’t stop the seemingly endless flow of tears that came when she realised that, once again, she was all alone.

She didn’t know why it upset her so much. She’d been alone when she left the vault, and when she made her way through the Commonwealth into the city. So why did the thought of continuing on by herself suddenly seem so daunting?

_Because he was the first real friend I made out here, and now he’s gone and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again._

So here she was, hiding her puffy red eyes behind a large pair of sunglasses and smoking her third cigarette of the day in hopes that it would banish the headache that was still plaguing her (though she was pretty certain that this one was due more to her incessant crying than having her brain scrambled by the memory pod), her eyes darting to the gates whenever she heard them creak open, just in case.

Autumn shoved the note into her pocket and forced herself to smile up at Nick, who was watching her with concern deeply embedded in his features, she didn’t know that synths could even get wrinkles on their brow until that moment.

”’Course I’m alright, why do you ask?” She chimed happily. _Too_ happily.

”Well, there’s the cigarette butts at your feet, the ridiculous specs, and the fact that you don’t have your mercenary at your heel as usual. Where _is_ MacCready, anyway?” He asked, eyes darting to the pocket that she’d hastily stashed the note away in.

_Damn, he’s good._

She looked down at her feet for a few moments in thought, before reaching into her pocket with a shrug, pulling out the crumpled piece of paper and passing it to Nick. He took it without a word and read it for himself as Autumn took another deep drag of the cigarette in her hand. At this rate, she was going to be on her fourth one in a matter of minutes.

When he’d finished reading, Nick sighed heavily and handed the note back. “He’s an idiot.” Was all he had to say, she was grateful for that.

”You’ve got that right.” She mumbled, feeling a familiar lump rising in her throat and clamping her eyes shut in defiance. Autumn refused to shed any more tears over MacCready. He’d made his decision to leave and she had decisions of her own to make.

”So, what’s our next step?”

Nick leaned back against the wall and struck up his own cigarette while he thought. Autumn kind of wondered if the nicotine really did anything for him, or whether he was just trying to complete the whole ‘Detective Noir’ look. She made a mental note to remind herself to ask him one day.

”In the last memory we saw, Kellogg was being sent after an Institute deserter. That’s some pretty valuable information and great news for us. What’s not so great is where he’s apparently hiding. The Glowing Sea is nothing to joke about, after all.” Nick asserted, tapping his chin in thought while Autumn stared blankly at him.

”The Glowing _what?_ ”

She must have missed that part of the memory. Though in her defence, she was spending very little time listening to what was being said and an awful lot of time looking at Shaun every opportunity she had, committing his face to memory. She could see Nate’s complexion and handsome smile clear as day in her sweet boy, though she always wished he’d inherited his bright blue eyes instead of her awful moss green ones.

”The Glowing Sea-“ Nick began, pulling her back to the present. “Is the most dangerous place in the whole Commonwealth, Autumn. It’s Ground Zero, the center of the nuclear attack over two hundred years ago. Nothing grows there, and the only things that thrive are the most dangerous of creatures, it’s not a place you visit alone. Then there’s the radiation, so potent it can kill you in less than an hour, and that’s if you’re lucky. If you want to find this Doctor Virgil, you’re going to need a lot of protection.”

Autumn leaned forward on her knees, nodding slowly. She _had_ protection, of course, her power armour back in Sanctuary Hills. It needed a little repair work done to it after that deathclaw tore it up, but she could always ask Sturges to take a look at it for her. The problem was what Nick said about not going alone. There was no way she could make her way through such an environment by herself with what little skills she had.

_Shame I don’t have, say, a hired frickin’ gun to watch my back - Stop doing that to yourself! It won’t change anything._

She hopped down to the ground and pushed her sunglasses further up her nose before turning to face Nick. “Ok, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll head back to Sanctuary and get my power armour fixed up, shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks. After that... well, I guess I’ll figure it out.” She declared a little awkwardly to a hearty chuckle from Nick, who stood up beside her.

”Consider it figured out, kid. You honestly think I’d let you go all that way alone after everything I just told you? You send word my way when you’re ready to head out and we’ll find Virgil together.”

Autumn instinctively opened her mouth to protest, but Nick raised a finger to silence her. “Trust me, doll, _nothing_ you say will change my mind at this point. I have a vested interest in this case now and I’m going to see it through with you.”

It took all of her effort not to well up again _(Thank God for sunglasses)_ and she threw her arms around Nick’s neck in appreciation, thanking him in earnest as she squeezed him tightly.

_Maybe I’m not as alone as I thought._

Nick responded by patting her back a little stiffly (is he getting _embarrassed!?_ ) and cleared his throat.

”Well, if there’s nothing else here, I should probably get back to the office. I can walk you out of the city if that’s the direction you’re heading?” Nick asked, standing up again and straightening his hat.

Autumn took a quick look around Goodneighbor. She waved half heartedly up at Hancock, who was stood at the window of the State House watching her with a furrowed brow. No prizes for guessing what he was thinking in that moment. This lively little town had become just another stop on her road to Shaun, and she wasn’t sure if she would ever have a reason to come back after today.

”Yeah,” She sighed, pulling her hood over her head and snatching her bag up off the floor. “Let’s get outta here.”

 

* * *

 

_”It shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks” _she said. Yeah fucking right.__

Apparently, that deathclaw did a hell of a lot more damage to Autumn’s power armour than she first thought. When she returned to Sanctuary Hills and explained her situation to Sturges, he scratched his head in uncertainty, _um-ing_ and _ah-ing_ at her request.

“Well, it’s certainly not impossible, but it’s gonna take me a while considering all the damage. I mean, the whole entire chest plate is gonna need replacing, leg and arm panels too, probably. This old hunk of junk has seriously been through the mill.” He surmised, kicking at one of the legs with his boot. The rattling noise it made was less than settling.

_Imagine what would have happened if I wasn’t wearing that thing!_

“If you can make me a detonator that can blow up a whole entire Gunner camp, I’m sure that fixing up some beat up old power armour will be _no_ problem for you, Sturges.” She said sweetly, revelling in the way that he smiled bashfully at her flattery and rubbed the back of his neck.

_Another thing that hasn’t changed: men are still men._

“Well, when you put it like that... I’ll go put in a word with some of the local caravans to bring me the parts I need, we’ll have her up and running in no time.”

 _Great._ Now that one problem was out of the way it was just a case of solving the next one: just what the hell was she supposed to do around here while she waited?

Autumn hadn’t been back to Sanctuary since leaving for the city a few months ago and, in all honesty, part of her had never wanted to come back ever again. Everywhere she looked there were painful reminders of the life she’d lost. The once beautiful homes now lay in rack and ruin, where there was lush green grass there were now barren fields of dried up dirt and even the once crystal blue stream that weaved a lazy path through the trees was now nothing more than a dried up ditch.

As for her own home...

Every room was a shell of its former self. Very few of her possessions had survived and the ones that did were caked in centuries of dirt and decay. Some of the settlers had helped her to clear the place of all its useless destroyed furniture so that she could attempt to rebuild it for when Shaun came home, but she refused to allow them to scrap his crib.

She knew it was silly, he was no longer a baby, but a young boy who would need his own bed. But she just couldn’t ignore the fact that every time she looked at the flaking blue paint, she was reminded of that last morning they shared together as a family. Nate had just suggested they go for a walk in the park, she’d made a witty remark about her becoming pregnant again. They were so damn happy and content, who would have guessed that it would be the last time they got to experience that feeling with each other?

So, as an alternative to sitting in her house looking for ghosts in every corner, she’d started accompanying Preston on his frequent trips around the Commonwealth. He’d taken it upon himself to visit the various settlements in the area in an attempt to persuade the locals to join the Minutemen and their cause. A noble idea, she thought, though not with out its fair share of obstacles.

He’d invited Autumn along the first time after she’d not-so-subtly hinted that she was about one bad day away from punching Marcy Long in the face, and after standing back and watching as Preston failed to impress the settlers at Abernathy Farm, decided it was a good thing she’d tagged along.

“After what happened back in Quincy? Why the hell should I trust you or your minutemen to keep me and my family safe? What could you possibly offer us that we can’t provide ourselves?” An angry Blake Abernathy asked Preston who opened and closed his mouth like a codfish.

She couldn’t really blame him for floundering, nor could she blame Blake for his anger. The Quincy Massacre still weighed heavily on people’s minds, and after Preston explained the tragedy to her, Autumn couldn’t be surprised that most of them had lost faith in the Minutemen and were hesitant to put their trust in them again. But she’d be damned if she would allow Preston to take that as a sign to give up, no matter how much a disgruntled settler may rebuff him.

Time to put that fancy law degree of hers to good use.

“Get many raiders around these parts, or ferals? I hear they get attracted to the smell that tatos give off.” She interjected as Preston struggled to hold the crowd. Blake Abernathy spared her a cursory glance, his jaw twitching irritably, she’d clearly hit a nerve.

“We get a couple o’ghouls now an’ then, nothing we can’t handle. Raiders on the other hand, well, bastards come at least once a month to try an’ shake us down,” He swallowed and looked down at the ground, his anger suddenly dissipating. “They... they killed my daughter. Mary went out to confront them one night, I _told_ her to stay indoors... they gunned her down like a rabid dog. Took her locket too. That locket’s been in Connie’s family for years.”

Autumn and Preston exchanged pitying glances and she placed a hand on Blake’s arm. He didn’t shrug it off, that was a good sign. “I’m so sorry, I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

He didn’t say anything, but he nodded in understanding and she gave him a moment to compose himself before she spoke again.

“I know that nothing we say will bring Mary back, but if we found her locket, wiped out those raiders once and for all, would you at least think about lending us your support?”

Blake looked at her with tears in his eyes, complete disbelief in the aged lines of his face. “You would do that? But, why?”

“It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?” She replied simply, smiling warmly at the man as he wiped his eyes with a tattered handkerchief. “Whaddya say?”

”My dear, there wouldn’t be anything to think about. You get us that locket back and kill those smug sons o’ bitches an’ we’ll help with whatever you need.”

Three days later they returned to the farm. Filthy and exhausted, but happy as they handed over the dainty gold chain they’d retrieved from the nearby satellite station where they found the raiders hiding out. From that day, Abernathy Farm became the first settlement under the official protection of the Commonwealth Minutemen. Preston was ecstatic.

”Why didn’t you tell me you were so damn good at persuading stubborn folk? Could have saved me a hell of a lot of time.”

She laughed lightly at his comment and shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I just never saw my silver tongue as being much use out here. In a courtroom, sure. But-”

”Are you kidding me? A talent like that can get you far no matter what time you’re living in. You could make such a difference out there if you wanted to, y’know. Help a lot of folk who are just trying to get by.” He said thoughtfully.

And he was right. Over the next few weeks Autumn accompanied Preston on all of his trips around the Commonwealth, acting as the unofficial advocate for the Minutemen and using her talents to help secure trade and protection deals between the various settlements. Some of the locals were pretty easily swayed, others had them jump (sometimes literally) through feral ghoul nests before they would agree to a deal, but Autumn loved every second of it. The travelling, feeling useful, she finally felt like her life had some purpose to it again, like she wasn’t just Shaun’s vengeful mother anymore.

Preston was absolutely beside himself with joy over their recent successes, and he told her as much, frequently.

“I really don’t know where we’d be at right now if not for you, Autumn. Your help has been invaluable to our cause.”

“I was just doing what’s right for everyone. Honestly, I only wish I could do more to help.” She admitted as they crossed over the bridge into Sanctuary after a long day visiting the settlers in Tenpines Bluff. She could see her power armour lying in pieces on the floor of the carport-turned-workshop that Sturges had claimed for his own, some of the settlers were gathered around the campfire, talking and laughing and there was a surprisingly delicious aroma coming from a spit that Marcy was overseeing. In that moment she realised that despite her reservations about coming back, despite fearing that she would see ghosts at every window and street corner, everything about what she was seeing right now felt like... home.

“Well,” Preston began, cutting in on her thoughts. “If you really wanted to do more, there _is_ one job I think you’d be perfect for. If you’re interested, that is.”

Autumn didn’t know what to say, helping out with the minutemen in her spare time was great and all, but she still had a son to find.

Although, she _would_ need to find something to do with her life once she brought Shaun home, and helping people had been her job before, why not now?

“Alright, Preston. What did you have in mind?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was a bit of a slog to get through to be perfectly honest, there was so much writing and re-writing that I think some of my sanity may never return!
> 
> However, I hope that you all enjoyed it regardless! As usual, your feedback and support means the world to me so huge thank you to you for even reading this!


	13. It’s just good business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 30/8: I’ve gone back and made a few changes to this chapter, there were a few things that, reading back on, I really didn’t like. I hope you enjoy!

_C’mon, it’s gotta be around here somewhere!_

MacCready had been walking for days. His feet were blistered, his back ached and he was bleeding profusely from a large gaping cut to his side which he’d been cursing through gritted teeth all afternoon. Unfortunately, he’d run out of medical supplies a while ago, so all he could do to help was wrap an old t-shirt around his ribs and hope that Sanctuary had a doctor.

Assuming he found the damn place before he bled out on the side of the road.

One slip up, that’s all it took for him to find some miserable raiders knife headed right for his abdomen. He’d managed to dodge the oncoming attack and blow the bastards head off, but not before his blade nicked him deep in the ribs. As if he hadn’t had it bad enough lately.

_Let’s recount: in the past month and a half I’ve been tricked, threatened, punched in the face, threatened some more and now, to top it all off, I’ve been stabbed. Has whatever bad karma I’ve accumulated run out yet?_

To put it bluntly: MacCready had fucked up. Once again.

He should have known that it was too good to be true right from the very beginning, a guy he barely knew offering to help him fight his way through some old medical facility in order to find a cure that would save his sick son’s life. He felt like such a damn idiot for not seeing through the lie before it was too late, but he’d been so desperate.

Sinclair had turned on him the moment they left Med-Tek, pointing his gun at MacCready’s head and forcing him to his knees before MacCready could even think about reaching for his own weapon. There’d been no sick friend, no intention of ‘doing the right thing,’ just another guy looking for a quick and easy pay day, the way it usually played out in this godforsaken place.

”Nothing personal, kid. It’s simply good business.” Sinclair told MacCready with a sneer, ripping the syringe from his grasp. “I can’t just let you run off with this priceless cure for free when there are people out there that would pay through the nose for it. But, I don’t particularly wanna waste someone of your talent either. So the way I see it you’ve got two choices: you can either join me and I’ll give you a small cut of what I make off this cure, or, I blow your brains out here and now.”

”You goddamn lying son of a- _argh!_ ” MacCready’s outburst was cut off by a fist to the side of the face. He felt his cheekbone burn hot with pain, but glared defiantly up at Sinclair, who was grinning back delightedly.

”Time’s running out,” He pressed, pulling back the hammer of his revolver. “Three... two... _one...”_

MacCready squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, waiting for a gunshot that never came. In its place, however, was a cry of sheer agony. His eyes flew open again to see Sinclair’s leg trapped between the jaws of a feral that they’d missed, and it wasn’t alone.

Acting fast, MacCready made a swipe for the syringe that was still clasped in Sinclair’s fist. But a combination of the quickly advancing ghouls and the revolver that was being fired in all directions thwarted his attempt and he retreated as fast as his legs could carry him before he wound up the stringy filling in a ghoul sandwich, leaving Sinclair to his fate.

_If anyone deserves that kind of ending, it’s that bastard._

A couple of hours later he returned, fully expecting to find Sinclair’s chewed up remains scattered throughout the old car park. He was only partially correct.

The ghoul had managed to take a sizeable chunk of flesh out of his leg, which was lying in a bloody puddle on the floor, but the ghouls were all dead and Sinclair was nowhere to be seen. More importantly, neither was the cure. For a moment, MacCready was struck dumb with panic. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t stop the shaking in his hands, if he didn’t get that cure back soon Duncan would-

_No, no, there’s still time. He can’t have gotten too far!_

So he took off on Sinclair’s trail. Firstly, by following the thick trail of blood that led away from Med-Tek, then by questioning the settlement that took him in when he showed up injured and so on. He must have anticipated that MacCready would be after him, because he never stayed in one place for very long and tried to cover his tracks along the way by giving fake names to people he met on the road. But, unfortunately for Sinclair, most people couldn’t forget a guy whose leg looked like it had been used as a rabid mole rat’s chew toy, regardless of what his name was. It was also useful to know that Sinclair was an avid smoker, and following a trail of cigarette butts and cigar ends was much easier than having to pay every settler he met twenty caps just to find out which direction he was heading.

After about a month of searching, MacCready had finally managed to track Sinclair down to a dingy little pre-war townhouse just outside of Cambridge. It was completely unremarkable but for the few guards that were posted by the door and he knew he could have taken them down in his sleep if he wanted to, but without knowing how many more were inside there was no guarantee that someone might not alert Sinclair, prompting him to flee again. MacCready couldn’t afford to spend another month chasing him around the Commonwealth. What he needed was help, someone to back him up.

Which is why MacCready was now ambling through the Commonwealth in search of the settlement called Sanctuary. He hadn’t really expected Autumn to still be hanging around Goodneighbor when he returned, especially not after what he did, but it might have made his life a whole lot easier if she had just stayed in one place. Luckily, Daisy had told him where he could find her as she’d overheard a discussion between Autumn and Nick about her heading to Sanctuary to have some power armour looked at.

”There was an awful lotta talk about the Glowing Sea too.” She added, giving MacCready a probing look as he fumbled with the pouchful of ammo he was holding in surprise.

”Th-the Glowing Sea? Are you sure?”

”Yep, whatever her reasons for going, she must be desperate as hell. And on that note: where the hell were you when she was making this decision? Where’ve you been lately?”

MacCready rolled his eyes and slid some caps across the counter at her. ”Getting myself into trouble.” He mumbled irritably, walking away without another word.

”The usual, then.” He heard Daisy call out with a rough chuckle as he left Goodneighbor in search of his former boss.

As it would transpire, however, those troubles of MacCready’s were far from over.

In his haste to reach Sanctuary he took a couple of reckless shortcuts down some less travelled paths and eventually wound up walking right into a raider camp. Not one of his brighter moments.

Luckily, it appeared as though they hadn’t anticipated some hyped up mercenary ambling willingly into their territory as most of them were stoned out of their gourds and could barely aim their weapons in a straight line, and that’s if they even managed to get to their feet in the first place. If MacCready wasn’t in such a rush, he might have enjoyed wiping out a whole band of raiders by himself, he had a lot of built up frustration that needed releasing.

Unfortunately, his urgency also made him careless, and all it took was one of the bastards catching him unawares to land him in his current pained predicament.

 _Best shot in the Commonwealth, gets bested by a fucking pocket knife._ MacCready thought angrily as another jolt of pain rolled through his body. He chanced a look down at his side and cringed, blood had seeped through the fabric of the t-shirt he’d wrapped himself up with and was now threatening to stain his duster crimson, his head was also starting to spin horribly and sweat was beading on his brow. He wasn’t going to last much longer like this, he needed a doctor as soon as possible.

Another hour or so passed and the sun had just started to dip below the horizon when MacCready finally came across something promising: a guard post at the end of a partially destroyed bridge, next to a faded sign with the words ‘Sanctuary Hills’ written across it in flaking gold paint.

_It’s about damn time!_

As he staggered over the bridge, the guard at the other end raised his weapon warily. “Stop right there!” He commanded.

MacCready raised both arms weakly, the edges of his vision were starting to blur.

”Wait... m’friendly...” He managed to slur before everything went black.

 

* * *

 

“Really, you don’t need to fuss, I’m alright.”

“Two weeks running around the Glowing Sea? Power armour or not, it’s no wonder you’re sick, just let me check you over and give you a dose of rad-away, General.”

”No need to be so formal, Charlotte. Autumn will do.”

_Autumn..._

MacCready opened his eyes and immediately shut them again in discomfort as sunlight poured in from an uncovered window. It was daylight again? How long had he been out?

Slowly, he opened his eyes again and took a look at his new surroundings. He was lying in a small room with barely enough space for the bed he was occupying, there were voices still drifting in through the open door from somewhere down the corridor and there was a strong smell of antiseptic hanging in the air. He took a moment to try and collect his thoughts. What happened? How did he end up here?

His answer came in the form of a searing ache in his side when he attempted to sit up and he grunted loudly in pain.

_Oh, that’s right, I nearly bled out. How could I forget?_

”Sounds like my other patient is awake,” Came a voice from the other room. “Wait here a moment while I check on him.”

Out of habit, MacCready made a grab for his gun as he heard the unknown footsteps coming towards his room, but where the hell was all of his stuff? His ruined shirt had been removed while he was out, leaving him in only his jeans, and his bag was nowhere to be seen. A middle aged woman then came through the door. She was portly, with short blonde hair and a kind round face.

”Nice to see you back among the living. Try not to move around too much, the stimpaks I gave you should be working but there’ll still be some pain.” She moved around to the other side of the bed and peeled back the covers to inspect his injury. It had been wrapped up while he was unconscious with a large clean bandage and there was no blood to be seen. He wondered how much that was going to set him back when she nodded satisfactorily. “Can I get you anything?” She asked.

”Uh...” He faltered, trying to clear his head. Everything seemed so foggy, how much med-x had he been given in the time since he passed out? _Think._ What did he need right now?

_Sinclair... the cure... Duncan..._

”Autumn. I need to speak to Autumn. Where is she?”

The woman stood up straight, frowning slightly. “The General can’t see anyone right now, she needs her own rest.”

_The General? What the hell?_

”Look, I don’t know what you mean by ‘General’ and to be quite honest I don’t really care, I _need_ to see Autumn right now. It’s urgent.” He pushed. There was no time to play games when Duncan’s life was at stake.

The woman opened her mouth to speak again but was cut off by the figure who had just appeared at the door.

”Charlotte, it’s fine.”

MacCready turned his head to see Autumn leaning heavily against the doorframe, watching the scene in front of her unfold. She looked completely exhausted. Her hair hung limp and untidy down her back, the dark circles under her eyes appeared almost black and there was a light sheen of sweat coating her whole body. Charlotte was less than happy with her interjection and made it well known.

”General, I really _must_ insist that you lie down. You need sleep and a damn good dose of rad-away, whatever this is I’m sure it can wait.”

”Doesn’t sound like it to me,” Autumn replied, her eyes flickering for a moment over to MacCready, who was seriously wishing that he had a shirt to cover himself up with right now. “Look, I’ll play nice and do whatever you need me to do just as soon as I finish up this conversation. Until then, can we have some privacy please? Consider that an order if it helps.”

Charlotte sighed in frustration and marched out of the room, muttering to herself as she went. Autumn watched her go and then shut the door, leaving the two of them completely alone for the first time since Goodneighbor.

“General?” He questioned with a smirk, which she didn’t return.

”Ugh, don’t you start too. I honestly didn’t think Preston would be so fucking serious about this whole general thing, else I wouldn’t have accepted the job. Anyway, what the hell do you want, MacCready?”

MacCready blinked a couple of times. That was kind of abrupt.

”Uh, I came to talk to you.”

Autumn raised both of her eyebrows dramatically and she huffed out a faintly amused breath as she took a seat at the foot of the bed, wiping her brow with her forearm. “Taking time out of your busy life to come and speak to me? Well, aren’t I special?”

_Ok, she’s pissed off. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised._

MacCready sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, he really hadn’t been looking forward to this. “Look, Autumn, I’m sorry about what happened back in Goodneighbor. I swear I never intended to leave, but something came up and I had no choice-“

“Bullshit.”

The word shut him up instantaneously. Autumn was glaring furiously at him from the foot of the bed, her jaw set tight and knuckles white in her lap.

”You could have at least told me, that was a choice. But instead, you _chose_ to leave a cryptic note under my door and vanish in the middle of the night without a trace. After _everything_ you saw me go through in the Memory Den and with Kellogg, _fuck,_ even after I took out those Gunners for you; you just left me there with nothing! I thought...” She swallowed and looked down at her closed fists, her shoulders slumping a little. “I thought I could trust you to at least be honest with me. Was it really so terrible travelling with me that you felt like your only way out was to just leave like that?”

This was way worse than MacCready had imagined it being, and he hated it. He hated the pained look on Autumn’s face, hated the hurt and the anger in her voice and, above all, he hated that he was the one to have caused it all. It’s as though he couldn’t help but mess up every good thing he had going in his life.

”Autumn, It wasn’t that I hated travelling with you. Far from it, in fact. It’s just...”

He paused, suddenly deciding that he simply didn’t trust himself not to say something that would just make matters worse, and dug in the pocket of his jeans for the note he’d put there a while ago, handing it to Autumn without a word.

”What’s this?”

”That got delivered to me the night I left. It’s the reason I took off so suddenly.”

A few minutes silence followed as Autumn read the letter, mouthing the words to herself. He heard her mutter the word ‘Med-Tek’ with a flicker of recognition, she must have known it from before the war. But it was when he saw the word ‘son’ on her lips that he braced himself, an awful knot tightening in his stomach.

She looked up from the letter slowly, her anger melting away into shock.

”You have a son?” She asked to a stiff nod in response from MacCready. ”And... he’s in danger?”

”Sick.” He murmered. “He’s sick and I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

Autumn’s face was a blend of different emotions as he explained Duncan’s condition to her. Or, at least, tried to, because no doctor he’d visited had ever heard of a disease which causes healthy kids to come down with a fever overnight and develop painful blue boils all over their body, and what’s worse is that none of the useless shrinks could do anything to help except suggest that he get ‘plenty of rest and water.’ when what he really needed was some kind of cure.

”That’s why I came here. The whole point of me leaving the Capital was to find a cure for Duncan, before...”

_Stop saying that. Don’t even think it!_

He stopped and clenched his fists to distract himself from the faint burning he felt behind his eyes, his nails digging into the flesh of his palms. Autumn had listened patiently and quietly to his side of the story, that was already way more than MacCready deserved, she skimmed over the letter in her hand again before looking him in the eye, a flicker of annoyance there.

”Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? I could have helped you. I _would_ have helped you.”

MacCready took a deep breath, ignoring the dull ache it created in his side as he did. This was the other part he hadn’t been looking forward to explaining.

”Honestly, the reason I didn’t say anything earlier... It’s because I felt like a shi- terrible father.”

That clearly hadn’t been the answer she was expecting. Her brow furrowed in confusion and she folded her arms over her chest. “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What I mean is... you’ve been tearing the Commonwealth apart since day one looking for your son, cutting down everything and everyone that stood in your way. Kellogg was right, y’know. It’s the way a parent _should_ be.” He swallowed, the words tasting vile on his tongue. To think that he could agree with _anything_ that psycho had to say...

“I guess, I just thought you’d judge me for not doing the same for my own son, I thought you’d think that I wasn’t doing enough for him.”

He waited for the shouting, hell, maybe even a slap, but none came. When he looked back at Autumn there were tears in her eyes, she fiddled with the cord around her neck for a moment and chewed the inside of her cheek before asking quietly: “Do you really think I’m that kind of person? I mean, don’t get me wrong I think you’re a fucking idiot, MacCready, and a complete asshole for leaving the way you did. But you’ve obviously got your son’s best interests at heart and I can’t be mad at you for doing what you thought was right for him in that moment. If there were anything I could do to help, you know I would, right? As a _friend._ ”

”Well, to be honest with you, that’s why I came. I need your help, and I need it now.”

A hint of a smile crossed her face as she wiped her eyes. “What dangerous gang did you manage to piss off this time?”

”Not a gang, so much as a single person with a bunch of goons at his side.”

“Same difference,” she shrugged. “What is it you need from me?”

There was a ten minute pause while MacCready brought her up to speed with what he’d been doing while he was gone. There was plenty of disgruntled sighing and equally as many eye rolls from Autumn as he explained everything from Sinclair’s betrayal to his run in with the Raiders on the way here, but she said nothing until he finished explaining his plan of how to get Duncan’s cure back to her.

”Ok, so let me see if I follow: you know where this guy is hiding out, but don’t wanna go in guns blazing in case he manages to escape. So, your solution is to send _me_ in as a fake buyer to trick this guy into handing over the cure... and _then_ you’ll go in guns blazing?” She summarised, now sitting crossed-legged on the end of the bed, her chin resting in her palm.

”Uh... yes?” MacCready replied uncertainly. When she said it like that, it did sound kind of shitty on his part, sending her into danger alone while he hung back on the sidelines. But it wasn’t as though he could just stroll in for a friendly chat with Sinclair himself, was it? Autumn nodded her head slowly, pursing her lips together in thought.

”Well, I can’t think of a better plan, let’s go for it.” She conceded, standing up, then immediately sitting back down with her fingers pressed to her forehead, her mouth stretched wide into a grimace.

”You alright?” MacCready asked, ignoring the way his ribs screamed in protest as he leaned forward to place a hand on her shoulder. Her skin was red hot to the touch and tacky with sweat.

She took a steady breath in through her nose and nodded shortly. ”I’ll live, just a bit of radiation poisoning. Turns out power armour can only protect you for so long. A couple hours sleep and a few rad-away cocktails, that’s all I need.” She said lightly, shooting him a wry smile.

”You went to the Glowing Sea, didn’t you? Why? Did you learn anything?” MacCready pressed. Autumn, however, waved her hand dismissively.

”Please, MacCready, one thing at a time. Let’s focus on _your_ son before we start worrying about mine again. Besides, the Glowing Sea is a complete cakewalk compared to what comes next.”

She stood up successfully this time and opened the door to leave the room, but not before MacCready stopped her once more.

“Hold up. So, are we ok now?” He asked hesitantly. Although she’d agreed to help him, he hated the idea of having this unspoken tension hanging between them still. Autumn stood with her back to him for a moment, humming quietly in thought, before turning and punching him hard on the arm.

” _Ow!_ Hey, what the hell?!” MacCready fumed, rubbing the spot where her fist collided with his bicep while simultaneously trying to ignore the pain that shot through his side when he flinched.

Autumn shook out her fist and shot him a cocky smile before walking out of the room. ”Yeah, MacCready. I think we’ll be ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was another earache for me, unfortunately and I’m honestly not a huge fan. Buuuut I’m glad that I persevered and I hope that I’ve managed to produce something half readable for you guys.
> 
> As always, thank you for all your kudos, comments and just generally giving this story a read.  
> You da best!


	14. A necessary evil

“Are you ready to go yet?”

Autumn’s brows jerked up in playful irritation at the voice that drifted in through the open door as she continued to pack her bag full of things that she would need for their trip to Cambridge. Ammo, _check._ Med-kit, _check._ Cap stash, _double check._

MacCready had questioned why she was bothering to bring along the sackful of caps when, in his own words, ‘we’ll be filling Sinclair’s body full of bullets before he can get his hands on them anyway.’ She supposed he made a good point, but Autumn liked to be thorough and if she wanted to trick Sinclair into believing that she was legitimately interested in buying this cure then she would have to convince him somehow; she could think of no better way to do that than by dangling the very object of his desire in front of his nose.

”Yeah, just gimme a sec will you?” She called back to MacCready as she slid her knife into its usual spot in the waistband of her jeans. He’d woken her up just after nine and had been sat on the sidewalk outside of her house since then, huffing impatiently like a petulant child and calling out prompts for her to hurry up regularly.

”They’ll have rebuilt the whole damn country by the time you finish getting ready!”

 _Hmpf._ Easy for him to say, he wasn’t still suffering from radiation poisoning.

Really, she shouldn’t have even been out of bed for at least three days after returning from the Glowing Sea and she sure as hell shouldn’t have been running off on dangerous missions for at least another two weeks. That’s what Sanctuary’s new doctor, Charlotte, had advised her anyway. However, time was not a luxury they could afford right now and, stubborn as ever, Autumn had insisted on waiting no more than two days for her fever to come down before leaving for Cambridge, so despite the near constant sheen of sweat that coated her brow and the slightly lethargic way she moved around, she would just have to grin and bare it until they got back.

However, this two day delay had given them ample time to work out a plan of attack and to figure out how exactly they would get the cure back safely from Sinclair, which was why Autumn was currently leaving her house dressed simply in a tatty flannel shirt and a pair of worn, patched jeans. The plan was for her to pose as a farmhand looking for a cure for her sick child’s infected mole-rat bite, so she had to at least look the part, even if her clothes were itchy and offered little in the way of protection.

”Well? What do you think?” She asked, giving MacCready a twirl as she approached him. He raised his brows at her and laughed quietly, going back to reloading his rifle. Autumn frowned.

”What?”

”Well, you’re way too _clean_ to be working on a farm. At least dirty yourself up a little before we leave.”

She rolled her eyes as she scraped her hair back into an untidy bun on top of her head. ”Helpful as ever, MacCready. You ready?”

He stood up and slung his rifle over his back, a smirk still lingering on his face. “I’ve been ready for days, you sure you’re up to this?” He added, looking at her as though she may keel over at any second. Autumn pulled a face and wiped her brow with the back of her hand.

”As ready as I’ll ever be. Let me just go talk to Preston real quick.”

They found Preston patrolling the streets of Sanctuary as he usually did, whistling a jaunty tune with his laser musket in his arms, always at the ready. He eyed them curiously as they approached.

”General.” He greeted with a nod.

”Hey Preston, we’re going to be heading out for a while, might be a couple of days at most. I’m leaving you in charge while I’m gone.”

His brows knitted together in concern and his eyes flickered momentarily over her choice of outfit. “Without any armour on?”

”It’s... a necessary evil. Besides, I have MacCready with me to keep me safe.”

That appeared to do little to convince Preston, who eyed the man behind her with a certain level of distrust, and maybe just a smidgen of resentment.

”Uh huh... are you sure you don’t need anyone _else_ to go with you guys? Maybe I can come along? I mean, you’re still not at full health and-”

Autumn cut him off with a raised hand and a polite smile. “I don’t trust anyone to keep Sanctuary safe more than I trust you, Preston. I’ll be perfectly fine out there, won’t even get a single scratch on me. I promise.”

And with that, she turned and walked towards the bridge without another word, MacCready stepping into place beside her.

”That guy can’t stand me.” He muttered, a note of amusement in his voice, Autumn huffed out a breath.

”He’s not a fan of mercenaries, can’t say I blame him either. You guys don’t exactly have a great reputation.”

”Gee, thanks for that glowing appraisal, Autumn. I’ll be sure to quote that on my business cards.”

That got a surprisingly hearty laugh out of her. How long had it been since she’d laughed like this, weeks? Months, even?

“Business cards? Aren’t those a little before your time?”

”Says the woman was frozen for over two hundred years.” He paused for a moment, brow furrowed in thought before adding: “How old _are_ you, anyway?”

Autumn laughed louder, though this time there was a hint of surprise to it. “Haven’t you heard that it’s impolite to ask a lady how old she is?”

A completely deadpan look was his response and she shook her head in exasperation before taking a moment to work out the numbers in her head. She’d never been much good at maths.

”Well, I was twenty seven when I went into the vault, which technically makes me... two hundred and thirty seven years old.”

An impressed whistle came from between Maccready’s lips. ”Damn, cryogenics does a body good.”

Autumn turned to look at him, her face breaking into another huge grin. ”Oh, you think I look good?”

That innocent little comment did exactly what she thought it would. His head snapped up in panic, cheeks flushing bright pink. “I- no! I mean, you _do,_ but not- I didn’t mean it like-“

He stopped talking and sighed irritably when Autumn began laughing again.

”God, you are so easy to wind up!” She chuckled loudly. To think, a couple of weeks ago she was trying to forget that MacCready had ever been a part of her life, and now she was teasing him mercilessly as though they’d never been apart for more than a couple of hours. It was nice to have this again, someone she could fool around with, when he wasn’t laying on the attitude, at least.

”You’re such a _child_ , no matter how old you claim to be.” He said in a huff, walking on ahead of her as she continued to laugh.

 

* * *

 

Dark clouds had rolled in by the time they’d made the relatively short journey to Cambridge. An ominous sight considering the task ahead, she thought, though Autumn didn’t dare bring up her silly superstitions with MacCready, who had grown quieter and paler the closer they came to their destination. She wished that she couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now, but considering her all too recent encounter with Kellogg she probably knew better than anyone else: the near unbearable squirming in your stomach, your heart beating so fast in your chest that you think it’s going to burst, knowing that you’re so damn close to your goal but that one wrong move could fuck everything up.

 _And it’s all on your shoulders._ She reminded herself unhelpfully.

MacCready led her through the derelict streets and ducked into an old hardware store where they climbed up to the roof. There he crouched down low and approached the ledge slowly, Autumn following suit.

”See that building there? That’s where Sinclair is holed up.” He muttered quietly, pointing to one house in particular. She followed his finger and felt her stomach lurch, something about it was familiar, achingly so.

_Second house from the left... no way..._

”It can’t be... what street are we on?” She whispered mostly to herself, lifting her pip-boy to her face and flipping through the panels to find the map. There was the marker pointing to her current location, and underneath that, the street name: _Harvard Street._

Sinclair was hiding out in her parents old house.

”Autumn, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

”Huh? Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He didn’t need to know and now wasn't the time to get all weepy and sentimental, not when a little boy’s life was at risk.

It was obvious from his expression that MacCready didn’t believe her one bit, but he didn’t pry as he attached his silencer to his rifle and checked his sights.

“I see the two guards that were there last time I was here, they should let you though if you tell them our story. You don’t exactly _look_ threatening dressed like that, so you shouldn’t have much trouble. Better hide your gun, though, just in case.”

Autumn wasn't certain whether or not she should be offended by him calling her ‘non-threatening’ but unclipped her holster anyway, sliding her gun from inside and stowing it away in her bag.

”Well, here I go.”

”Wait, Autumn...”

She looked back at MacCready, his mouth was hanging open as though he was about to say something, he was white as a sheet.

”Uh... your pip-boy, you should take it off. It’ll draw too much attention.”

She looked from the offending contraption to MacCready, trying to discern from his face whether or not she believed that was what he had meant to say in the first place. ”Yeah, good point.”

Her arm felt uncomfortably light once she’d unclipped her pip-boy, the skin on her wrist lightly marked from months of near constant wear, she handed it to MacCready and backed off towards the roof exit.

”Ok, I’m really going now. Wish me luck.” She said with a sly wink before disappearing through the door, leaving MacCready to watch events unfold from his vantage point.

Autumn tried her best to shake the feeling of deja vu as she walked down the street towards her childhood home. Her legs were like lead, it was almost overwhelming. She could still picture the rows of beautiful flowers her mom used to plant in the garden and smell the home cooked meals that were always waiting for her when she came to visit. But now, there was only the smell of rot in the air, and instead of flowers there were a couple of thugs standing in her moms garden.

_Right where the peonies used to grow._

They glared menacingly at her as she approached and raised their weapons when she stepped over what remained of the gate. Autumn lifted up her hands to placate them and did her best to look like a simple scared farm girl. Though the scared part didn’t need much work, without her gun immediately within reach she felt incredibly vulnerable.

”The fuck do you want, girl?” The first thug snapped stepping right in her face while the other hung back with a smirk.

”I... I’m here to talk to Sinclair, I hear he can help me.” She said in a quiet voice, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on the guns in their hands. She hoped that MacCready would be quick enough to put them both down if things got out of hand.

”Sinclair ain’t got time for little rats like you. Go on, scram!” He spat, shoving her hard in the shoulder. Autumn stumbled backwards, barely managing to catch herself before she fell. She was suddenly quite pleased to think that this guy was going to be getting his head blown off very soon, it was just a shame she wasn’t going to be the one to-

_Focus, dammit! You’re not a killer right now!_

She wiped the glare from her face and replaced it with what she hoped was a determined, if a little frightened, expression.

”Please, I don’t know where else to go, my son is sick!” She implored, earning herself a groan of impatience.

”Am I gonna have to start gettin’ violent to make you take the hint? Don’t think I ain’t afraid to hit a woman ‘cause-“

”I have caps!” She cut in. He stopped in the process of pulling his arm back, a frown on his stupid face.

”How many caps?”

”Enough to pay for this cure I’ve heard so much about.”

”Jenner, let the girl in. I’m sure Sinclair will decide whether or not she’s legit.” The other guy interrupted, stepping aside to let her past. “Upstairs. Last room on the left, hurry up before I change my mind.”

”Th-thank you.” Autumn stammered, scratching the top of her head lightly before heading inside. That was her signal to MacCready. They both knew that once she was inside he would have no way of knowing her exact whereabouts, so they made a code: if she scratched the back of her neck she was on the ground floor, if she scratched the top of her head she was upstairs and so on. She could only hope that he’d been paying close attention as she dropped her arm back to her side and entered the dimly lit house.

The feeling was almost as bad as when she entered her home in Sanctuary for the first time after waking up, that familiar, devastating punch to the gut that stole all the air from her lungs. The house, like most others, had been badly damaged in the initial fallout and most of the furniture inside was long gone, but there were a few items strewn about the property that she could remember clear as day. The porcelain vase that belonged to her grandmother was lying in pieces by the lounge door, the coat rack was leaning against the wall with an old black leather jacket still hanging from it. Hers, if she remembered correctly. She was always leaving her belongings here, her mom would give her so much grief for it.

 _”What are we, a storage depo?”_ She could still hear her complain. Autumn couldn’t help but smile a little despite herself as she ascended the rickety old stairs.

As she reached the top landing, she could have swore that she heard a body fall heavily by the front door, but she didn’t dare to turn and check. Instead, she carried on down the hallway, passing another guard who watched her go by with narrow eyes, and entered the room at the very end that the goon outside had specified.

_Dad’s old office, figures._

Her dad loved his office, it was where she would often find him reading one of his many books while the comforting smell of pipe smoke wafted through the air and the table lamp cast warm shadows throughout the room. When she was younger she would often sneak in here after her bedtime and beg him for a story, he never refused her once.

The memory alone nearly brought her to tears, but the sight of the room now, a hollowed out shell littered with the remains of her dads beloved books and the shelves on which they stood almost tipped her over the edge.

That, and the man sat behind the ancient desk with his feet resting on top of it, a cigarette clamped between his teeth.

_If only this bastard knew..._

He looked up with vague interest at the stranger who had just entered the room and his eyes seemed to bulge out of his skull as he took in the sight of her.

”Damn, I wasn’t expecting any visitors today but, I ain’t about to complain.” He said with an unmistakable leer to his voice. He gestured to the guard in the room to leave, which he did, closing the door behind him and leaving the two of them completely alone.

”Are you Sinclair?” Autumn asked, knowing full well who he was already.

She tried to ignore the mild panic that flared up within her when Sinclair stood up suddenly and walked around the desk only to place himself in front of it. He was a scrawny guy, with dark brown hair that was heavily streaked with grey and a face that was littered with scars and the telltale signs of a lifetime of heavy drinking. He was also limping badly on his left leg which was wrapped up in a thick layer of bandages.

”I might be. But first, why don’t you tell me who _you_ are and what you’re doin’ in my house?”

 _”My house.”_ The words were like a slap in the face.

”My name is Anna, I work on a farm up in the North East. I heard you recently came across something, a cure. I want to buy it from you.”

Sinclair’s face broke into a toothy grin and he leaned back against the desk with his arms folded across his chest.

”A cure, you say? Now, where would a pretty young thing like you hear about somethin’ like that? Can’t imagine a farm gets a lot of traffic.”

She got the distinct feeling that he was testing her, trying to catch her out somehow. But she was no idiot.

”Caravans. They come by the farm pretty regularly to trade, take most of our produce to Diamond City. They talk a lot, told me about a man in Cambridge who acquired a cure that can heal any sickness.”

He nodded slowly, still smiling. She decided right then that it was a decidedly creepy smile.

“That so? Who you lookin’ to cure?”

”My son. He was bitten by a mole-rat, bite got infected... he’s really sick.” She murmured, her voice barely more than a whisper, she even managed to make herself tear up a little.

_Glad to see those drama classes back in high school weren’t for nothing._

”Aw, now ain’t that sad.” Sinclair said in a tone that was anything but sympathetic. “Well, as it so happens I _do_ have this cure on me, but it don’t come cheap. Pretty rare thing to have, after all.”

”I have caps.” She uttered quickly, hoisting her bag higher onto her shoulder “Five thousand, right? That’s what I heard.”

Sinclair said nothing for a moment, but she noticed that his eyes were going to all sorts of places they really shouldn’t be. Autumn folded her arms and tugged at her shirt subtly to hide any gaps that his roaming eyes might attempt to peer into, her skin crawling when he licked his lips in a very obvious way.

”Ten thousand.” He said at last. Her jaw nearly hit the floor.

”Ten thou-? That’s... that’s insane, I don’t have that kind of money!”

She heard a faint noise on the other side of the door that she could only hope was MacCready. If he’d managed to make it up here undetected, then she had nothing to worry about, if not... she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this guy talking before he became suspicious. Her pistol was in her bag, his was at his side. It was a no brainier exactly who would win that quick draw.

”Yeah, see, that’s a problem right there. The price _was_ five thousand caps but, after all the risk associated with hauling this thing around and needing to pay off the boys guarding me, y’know how it is. Although, I could be willing to lower my price a little bit in exchange for a couple of hours _alone_ with you.”

Autumn stared blankly at him for a moment. Was he suggesting that they...

_Oh, oh gross!_

Was he serious? This guy was old enough to be, well, her father. And he was propositioning her under the belief that she was a desperate mother trying to save her child’s life. A ripple of anger coursed through her body and she had to bite back the slurry of insults that were bouncing around her head or else risk blowing her cover.

”I, uh, I have a husband.”

”So don’t tell him.” Sinclair replied dismissively. “That’s my price, sweetheart: five thousand caps and I get to screw your brains out, or you go and try to scrounge another five thousand caps from somewhere. Though... that’s quite a lot of caps, a lot of time, who knows exactly how long your son has left? I’d hate to see a kid die like that because his mommy wasn’t willing to make a little sacrifice.”

The ripple of anger had now turned into furious somersaults in her stomach. She didn’t even bother to try and hide the way her hands trembled. Autumn thought that she’d seen the worst of humanity the day the bombs fell, but _this..._ using a sick child (albeit a fabricated one) as a bargaining chip to satiate his desires, this was seriously fucked up.

The floorboard outside of the door creaked loudly, it was now or never. Autumn needed to act now if they wanted to get that cure back.

She sighed and dropped her bag to the floor, opening it and lifting out the sackful of caps with her left hand just enough for him to see it while her right hand subtly reached for her pistol. She hoped that MacCready remembered her second signal.

”Ok, _deal!_ ”

She dropped the caps and sprung to her feet with her pistol aimed directly at Sinclair’s head, at the same time the door burst open and MacCready mercifully rushed in with his rifle raised. Sinclair jumped away from the desk, his cigarette falling to the floor and his mouth wide open in shock.

”What the fuck?!”

”Game’s over, Sinclair. Drop your gun and give me the goddamn cure!” MacCready snarled, his face red with anger.

Sinclair half smiled at them, but his eyes were still wide with shock, eyebrows knitted together furiously. He raised his arms slowly.

”You clever little worm, you’re really not as dumb as I thought, are you?”

”Shut up and do as he says.” Autumn cut in. His eyes landed on her again, though the lecherous stare was gone and had turned completely murderous.

”You lying bitch, I thought there was something a bit off about you but I never would have guessed...” He turned back to MacCready and cocked his head in her direction. “Punching way above your weight with this one, kid. Don’t you thi-“

MacCready fired a warning shot into the floor right by Sinclair’s foot and he stopped talking immediately.

”Shut the hell up! Drop your gun, put the cure on the floor and roll it over to me. _Slowly._ ” He hissed. Autumn had never heard that edge to his voice before. That dangerous tone that positively dripped with malice and conviction.

She kind of liked it.

Sinclair was staring daggers at the pair of them, hesitating, but after a few seconds he reached down into his holster, Autumn held her breath, hoping he wouldn’t try anything stupid. He placed his gun on the floor and kicked it over to MacCready, who in turn kicked it behind him out of reach, not turning his rifle away for a moment. Then Sinclair reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a tiny syringe, holding it up for them to see.

”Roll it over.”

Sinclair did as he was told and slowly crouched down and rolled it across the room, Autumn released a breath the second it left his fingers. But as MacCready bent down to pick it up he foolishly turned his head, giving Sinclair a chance to grab a scrap of wood from the floor and swing it as hard as he could. It hit MacCready in the side of the head before he could do anything to protect himself.

” _MACCREADY!_ ” Autumn screamed as he crumpled to the floor. She fired two shots at Sinclair, one clipping him in the shoulder and the other hitting the window behind him when her hand suddenly seized up, shattering the only remaining pane of glass.

_Dammit! Of all the times for my bad fucking hand to cramp up!_

He staggered backwards momentarily before barrelling towards her with a snarl, shoving her hard into the wall. Her head smashed against the flaking plaster with a sickening thud and she slid uselessly to the floor while Sinclair scarpered out of the room and down the stairs.

Blinking through the tears in her eyes and the pounding in her head, she pushed herself onto her knees and crawled across the floor to get to her friend, who was lying still in a heap.

”MacCready, hey! Dammit, please be alright!” She uttered in a panic, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him. Blood was trickling down the side of his head. He’d been knocked out.

”Shit, shit, fucking shit!”

She snatched her bag up off the floor and began digging through it for her med-kit, cursing her fumbling hands as she did. At the same time her eyes fell on the spot on the floor where the cure had been moments ago, where it no longer was, it wasn’t in MacCready’s hands either. Autumn felt her stomach drop.

_Oh no._

Ignoring the way her head spun nauseatingly, she leapt to her feet and tore through the door after Sinclair. Racing down the stairs and back out onto the street where she skidded to a halt in the middle of the road, her head snapping back and forth, looking for that sick, twisted mother fu-

 _There!_ Sinclair was squeezing himself through a gap between two trucks that were blocking the end of the street, his bad leg slowing him down considerably, and disappeared from view. Autumn took off in hot pursuit, closing the distance between them in record time and leaping through the gap between the vehicles, but as her feet hit the floor there was another explosion of pain in the back of her head as something heavy struck her from behind, dropping her to the floor like a sack of rotten tatos.

For a moment she just lay there, paralysed with pain. It seemed to take forever for her to even realise that she was on the floor and even longer after that for her to attempt to get back to her feet. Her hair had come loose from its chaotic updo and fell messily around her face, meaning that she couldn’t see the figure approach her from behind and grab her by her necklace, pulling it taut around her neck.

Autumn's instant reaction was to inhale sharply in fright, but all that came out was an awful choking sound as the cord tightened further around her throat, completely cutting off her airways. She was pulled to her knees, scrabbling and jerking in an effort to free herself, but her attackers grip was too strong.

”Stupid fucking bitch, you should have just let me run!” She heard a familiar voice growl.

_Sinclair._

She continued to writhe and struggle under his grip, the thin, makeshift garrotte cutting painfully into her skin the more she wriggled. But she just couldn’t break free. Black spots were beginning to appear in her vision, her chest began to spasm with the effort of her attempts to draw breath, she was panicking now.

”I wonder what MacCready will say when he realises that both his son _and_ his girlfriend are dead because of him, maybe he’ll off himself too, the useless little shit!”

She could feel herself fading. Blood was pounding in her ears and the choking noises she was making were growing softer.

_No, not like this... Shaun still needs me... MacCready needs me._

One of her arms fell limp at her side, only to graze past something in the waistband of her jeans.

Her knife.

Without thinking, without knowing exactly where she was aiming, she tugged the knife free and with what little energy she had left, plunged it behind her.

Autumn heard Sinclair howl in agony and he released his iron grip on her necklace, she drew a single huge breath and collapsed on the floor again as he screamed madly somewhere behind her. Sweet oxygen filled her lungs, but it hurt terribly, every breath she took felt like swallowing hundreds of jagged nails, but she couldn’t stop gulping down air, like her body was making up for the minute or so that it had been starved.

Blinking rapidly in an attempt to banish the black spots still dancing in her vision, she spun on her knees to see Sinclair attempting to get to his feet. Though a combination of a bullet wound to the shoulder, stab wound to the hip and a chewed up leg rendered his movements slow and pained. This was her best chance.

She flexed her fingers around the handle of the knife and threw herself clumsily at Sinclair, knocking him back to the floor and landing awkwardly on top of him. She managed to pin his arms to his sides with her legs and began unleashing a merciless attack, stabbing him over and over and over, a hoarse scream on her lips and tears in her eyes. He was sick and twisted and he was going to pay. He _had_ to pay!

Sinclair was probably dead by the fourth time the knife penetrated his chest, but Autumn didn’t stop bringing the knife down on his body until she could no longer physically raise her arms, after that she just stared down coldly at the bloody mess that she’d made. She knew that she should have been horrified having just brutalised the man beneath her, at the thick blood coating her hands and arms and the wide-eyed, glassy look in his eyes, but it seemed that there was no room in her head for any emotions other than pain and fury right now.

She pushed herself off of Sinclair’s now lifeless body and discarded her knife before attacking his pockets, praying that he hadn’t ditched the cure somewhere she couldn’t find it.

”C’mon you son of a bitch, where did you put- _aha!_ ”

Out of his trouser pocket she retrieved the syringe, which was mercifully undamaged. It was very small, with a clear liquid inside and a faded label that had the word ‘prevent’ stamped across it.

Autumn smiled for the first time in what felt like hours, relief flooding her entire body making her feel light headed and tired, the black spots were growing bigger again... _no._ She couldn’t pass out here.

She crawled over to one of the vehicles that Sinclair had been hiding behind and used it to pull herself up to her feet, trying to calm her ragged breathing as she did, but every breath she took was so painful that it made her cough and retch. She clamped a hand gingerly around her throat, it was tender and raw and she could feel deep welts from where her necklace had dug into the skin

_Fuck, I need a stimpak!_

But her medkit was back inside her parents house, where MacCready was lying waiting for her.

Autumn released the side of the truck and took a step forward, but the second she let go of the rusted bonnet her legs gave out and she tumbled back to the ground, clutching the cure to her chest protectively.

This time she didn’t get up. She just lay there and stared off into the distance. Everything was going dark now, but how? It was barely three in the afternoon. She could have swore that she heard someone call her name, but she was too weak to raise her head to check. Everything was spinning horribly.

And it was so dark...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!
> 
> I actually had so much fun writing this chapter and I hope you guys had just as much fun reading it! (Like, I REALLY hope so!)
> 
> As usual thank you to everyone for reading, commenting, kudo-ing etc. You guys are awesome!


	15. I’m here

The smell of age and must reached MacCready’s nose before the rest of his senses caught up with him, including his splitting headache, and when he opened his eyes it was to find himself staring up at a crooked ceiling fan hanging overhead. He was struck by the unusual desire to laugh out loud, when was the last time he’d woken up on the floor with a bad head without having drank himself into that sordid position?

Grunting hoarsly, he sat himself up and clamped his hand to the side of his face when the movement triggered another dull ache. It felt wet beneath his touch and he pulled his hand away to find his fingers coated in blood. That’s when it all started coming back to him, Sinclair getting the jump on him while his head was turned, a sickening pain, Autumn screaming his name-

“Autumn?”

MacCready looked around the small room they’d confronted Sinclair in, but it was empty now except for him. Autumn’s bag was lying on the floor by his side, open, with its contents strewn all over, but its owner was nowhere to be seen, and neither was Sinclair.

Fear began bubbling away inside his gut as his eyes landed on a few large droplets of fresh blood on the floor, staining the old wooden boards. It formed an erratic trail leading out of the room. Not his own, clearly, but then whose was it?

He leapt to his feet, ignoring the way his head spun in protest, and snatched his rifle up off the floor before following the blood trail out of the room in the hopes that it would lead him to Autumn. But, if the blood was hers, how badly was she hurt?

 _She’s fine. She’s_ fine. MacCready told himself, willing himself to believe it. But the way that the trail raked this way and that through the house, like someone had been staggering all over the place, did little to ease his worry.

He was led outside, where rain had started to fall heavily, washing away the blood that was his only clue to his friends whereabouts. He growled his frustration and kicked one of the bodies of Sinclair’s men before simply throwing caution to the wind and calling out to her. It was a careless move, anyone might have heard him, but if just one of those people was her then maybe it would be worth the risk.

Yet, no answer came. He was starting to grow desperate and was about to just pick a direction and run in it when a noise drew his attention, so faint that he might have missed it had he not already been straining his ears. A weak cough, coming from behind a couple of beat up old trucks in the middle of the road.

Not daring himself to believe, MacCready approached the vehicles cautiously with his rifle raised and squeezed himself through the narrow gap between them. His eyes immediately fell on a figure lying to his left and his stomach lurched.

It was Sinclair, lying spread eagled on his back, glassy-eyed and very much dead. His whole torso was a red, bloody mess and looked as though it had been savaged by a wild animal, a decidedly fitting end for an asshole like that. MacCready might even have smiled if he didn’t fear that doing so would cause him to vomit all over his boots. So instead, he turned his attention to the other figure on the ground who he’d missed at first. They were lying face down, their limbs splayed out at awkward angles and a tangle of long, soft hair obscuring their face. It’s colour was unmistakable.

_”Autumn!”_

He dropped to his knees and grabbed her by the shoulders to turn her over onto her back. She was white as a ghost, eyes closed and lips parted slightly as though she were asleep, her hands and arms were drenched in blood but he could see no sign of injury on her. So then, why was she-

”Autumn, wake up! Dammit, wake up!” He urged, smoothing her hair clumsily away from her face and neck and exposing a deep ligature mark around her throat that was lightly smeared with blood. MacCready’s own ran cold.

_No... no, no, no!_

He made a fumbling grab for her arm lying limp at her side and pressed two fingers against her wrist while he tried desperately to remember what Lucy had taught him about CPR all those years ago, something about compressions, breathing into the mouth, _shit!_ It had been so long! The next few seconds slowed to an agonising crawl as he waited, desperately hoping that he would feel a-

”Oh, thank God!”

It was weak, but he definitely could feel a pulse throbbing defiantly in her wrist, anchoring her to life despite her near fatal injury.

MacCready closed his eyes and let out a shakey sigh of relief, sliding his hand from Autumn’s wrist to capture hers, but there was already something clutched between her fingers. Frowning slightly, he opened his eyes again and pried her hand open, revealing the precious cure that she’d been holding close to her chest as she lay unconscious.

He must have stared dumbly at the thing for an entire minute before reaching out and taking it. It was tiny, barely filling his palm from the plunger to the tip of the needle. Yet, the emotional response it triggered in him alongside the woman who had procured it, was so enormous that it stirred up feelings he’d long thought himself incapable of experiencing ever again: joy, calm... affection.

That was probably the most startling of all. MacCready didn’t _do_ affection, not anymore, at least. He thought he’d buried that feeling somewhere deep a long time ago alongside his happiness. Yet, here it was again, wrapping its tendrils around his chest and squeezing emphatically as he stared down at his friend who, once again, had thrown herself in harms way for him without a moment’s hesitation. Only this time, it nearly cost Autumn her life.

Guilt began breaking through the fog of joy in his mind, a far more familiar feeling, and one that he fully deserved. After all, it was his fault that she was lying there in the first place.

He stretched out a hand and gently brushed away a drop of rainwater from her cheek with his thumb. Her skin was so soft, was this what everybody felt like before the war, when their bodies weren’t overwhelmed by radiation and the stress of simply trying to survive another day?

A small line cropped up between Autumn’s brows and she moaned softly, half-opening her eyes and looking up at his face in confusion.

”Mac...” She breathed, her voice cracked and raw. He placed his hand against the side of her face and again took her hand within his.

”Hey, you’re ok, everything’s gonna be fine. I’m here.”

_I’m never gonna let anything happen to you again, I swear._

He was too much of a coward to say the last part out loud, but she gave him a weak smile anyway before her eyes slid shut again, her head falling sideways into his hand as she slipped back into unconsciousness.

They couldn’t stay out here in the rain any longer, and the dark green clouds rolling in on the horizon told him that they needed to get inside immediately. So, MacCready scooped Autumn up into his arms with minimal effort, taking care not to move her neck too much, and carried her back into Sinclair’s safe house, leaving his body to the crows and wild dogs and whatever else would want to touch his rotting carcass.

Once inside, he found an old bed upstairs to lie her down on and immediately set about tending to the angry red welt on her throat, or, at least he did what he could. The state of some of the scars on his own body were testament to the fact he was no doctor and he had no idea how well stimpaks would work on an injury like this, but he’d given her three by the time the swelling started to go down. He’d let the Doctor back in Sanctuary take a look at her properly when they got back, for now at least, she was alive and that’s all that mattered.

He finished cleaning the layers of blood from her hands, then sat in the chair beside her bed and watched her chest rise and fall steadily, trying not to dwell on how much of a close call today had been for both of them. He didn’t know how long it would be before he could look at Autumn again without feeling guilty for having dragged her into another one of his messes, probably as long as the scar remained on her throat, and then some.

She probably wouldn’t look at it that way, though, she’d just smile at him with those perfectly white teeth and chide him for being an idiot before insisting that she would have helped him regardless of what he wanted, that’s just the kind of person she was. He, on the other hand was...

_What, a manipulative asshole playing on her empathy? Just another jerk wastelander taking advantage of some naive vault dweller?_

Deciding that he couldn’t sit there and let his thoughts run amok a second longer, MacCready got back to his feet and threw his duster over Autumn’s body before leaving the room in search of something to keep his mind occupied for a while. He set about looting the bodies of Sinclair’s men, finding nothing but a couple of stimpaks and a handful of caps between them, nothing really worth dirtying his hands over.

Once that was taken care of, he dragged each of their bodies outside into the street, not wanting to risk anything unpleasant being drawn to the house in the night by the smell of cadaver. He was just finishing up when the radstorm arrived overhead, turning the sky a dark, murky green, the air around him thick and cloying. He retreated back into the house and shut the door behind him, not that it made much difference given the absence of most of the glass in the windows, still, he’d made do with less before and reminded himself to take some rad-away once the storm subsided.

Sheet lightening lit his way through the house as he then went from room to room, searching through centuries old cupboards and crooked boxes as he went. Not that he expected to find much of use still here after two hundred years of scavvers and caravans passing through, but any distraction was a welcome one from the alternative.

MacCready came across an old bedroom immediately at the top of the stairs, the wooden bed frame lay in pieces on the floor, flanked on either side by two nightstands, and the armoire was splintered on its side in the corner. He wrenched open one of the nightstand drawers, finding little of interest except a lighter, which he pocketed for himself, and a beautiful leather bound photo album. Normally, he would disregard such a mundane discovery, what did he care about some long dead family and their memories?

But this time was different, and for some unknown reason, MacCready found himself reaching into the drawer for the book and began flipping through its pages.

Most of the photos were, predictably, ruined. Faded and indistinguishable, their subjects long since erased from history, they were little more than kindling at this point, but one or two had survived their time shut up in the nightstand drawer, a little charred and blotchy in some places, but otherwise intact. One such photo that he came across made his fingers fumble over the page and his breath hitch quietly in shock.

”Autumn?”

But, wait, was it really Autumn? The woman in the picture _did_ look an awful lot like her, the same full lips and long, auburn hair, but the eyes were all wrong. Blue where hers were green, this woman also had a smattering of freckles across her cheeks and nose whereas Autumn did not, she was older too, at least mid-thirties. So, if this woman wasn’t Autumn, who the hell was it?

MacCready’s attention drifted to the young girl sat on the woman’s knee that he took to be her daughter. They looked very much alike, except for the eyes... green eyes.

Mouth slightly dry now and fingers trembling, he continued turning pages at a quickened pace, searching for any other intact photos of this family. There weren’t very many, one or two of them depicted a tall middle aged man with blonde hair stood alongside the older woman, they looked very much like a married couple in love. But it was the very last photo in the album that made his heart tighten uncomfortably in his chest.

It was Autumn, truly and unmistakably Autumn, lying in a bed with a tiny newborn baby fast asleep in her arms. She looked absolutely exhausted, her head resting heavily on the pillow behind her while the middle aged man from the previous pictures looked down on her with pride. But the smile on her face was what really got to him. MacCready had never seen her smile so broadly before, like every last little thing was wonderful with the world. She was positively glowing.

Lucy had looked like that too when she gave birth to Duncan.

A sudden cough from the other room brought him crashing back to reality. He jumped up in fright, slammed the book shut and then rushed back as the coughing quickly became frantic and pained. He found Autumn sitting bolt upright in bed, one hand covering her mouth as she struggled for breath, the other wrapped around her throat, pressing down lightly on her injury. She didn’t even seem to notice his presence in the room until he dropped back down into the chair at her bedside and handed her a bottle of water from his bag.

”Hey, hey, take it easy.” MacCready soothed as she snatched the water out of his hands and began gulping it down as though she hadn’t had a drink for days. Her face was scrunched up in discomfort and water was dribbling down her chin onto her shirt as she chugged the whole bottle down in record time, trying to fight away the irritation.

Eventually, her breathing relaxed and the coughing fit subsided, and only then did she look up at him, worry replacing pain as she took in the sight of his face and hair still streaked with blood (given everything that had gone on since he regained consciousness, he’d completely forgotten to see to his own wound). MacCready stiffened when she raised her hand and touched the side of his face with her fingertips, holding in a breath when she gently angled his head to get a better look at the cut there.

“It’s not bad, bleeding’s already stopped.” He said dismissively before she could begin to fuss, he wasn’t the one that needed looking after right now. He took the hand that was now brushing his hair aside and held it in his own before her touch caused his heart to eject itself from beneath his ribs.

”How are you feeling?”

Autumn opened her mouth to reply, only for a strained croak to emerge from between her lips. She snatched her hand back and again clamped it around her throat while her eyes went wide in panic.

“Ah _sh-_ dammit! You can’t speak? Wait, no, don’t even try, I get it!” He blurted as she shot him a wide eyed glare, one that screamed _‘no shit I can’t speak!’_ and began reaching over the side of the bed for her bag, looking for stimpaks no doubt. But MacCready kicked it out of her reach and grabbed her arm to stop her before she fell out of bed altogether.

”Hey, calm down, will ya? I already gave you, like, three stimpaks, anymore and you might overdose. We’ll take you to the doctor as soon as we get back to Sanctuary tomorrow.”

Autumn’s face contorted into a questioning frown. She turned to look out of the window as a prolonged flash of lightening lit up the room, the following rumble of thunder causing her to flinch in shock before her shoulders slumped and she turned back to him with a grimace. MacCready couldn’t help but grin at her defeated expression as he released her arm and sat back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other as he did.

”Yeah, I know. We’re not going anywhere until this storm clears up, might as well get comfy.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him and leaned back against the headboard with her arms folded huffily, a flicker of pain ghosting her face as she swallowed, while MacCready leaned his head back against the wall and watched as the muscles in her jaw twitched irritably at every little flash of lightening.

_Huh, she’s kinda cute when she’s pissed off._

They stayed like that for a while, with only the endless rumble of thunder and heavy pattering of rain to break the silence between them. Before long, MacCready felt his eyes begin to droop, usually he would take that as his cue to get up and patrol the perimeter of wherever he was staying so as not to fall asleep, but this time he saw no need. The doors were barred and nothing intelligent would be out in that storm right now, it was perfectly safe for him to just... rest his eyes... just for a little while...

_What the-?_

He was dragged infuriatingly from the cusp of sleep by something lightly smacking him in the face. He jumped in shock, eyes snapping open, and looked around wildly for whatever it was that hit him. He found a small folded note in his lap and looked over its presumed source: Autumn was sitting upright with her arms wrapped around her knees, watching him expectantly and trying to conceal the smirk on her lips.

MacCready sighed his obvious displeasure at having been so rudely interrupted and unfolded the note. It wasn’t very long, five words to be exact:

_”What does RJ stand for?”_

His brows knitted together as he read the note a second time before looking back at Autumn, who was still looking at him with keen interest and an expression that plainly said  _‘...well?’_

”Huh?” He grunted stupidly. She rolled her eyes and reached into her bag which she’d lifted onto the bed by her side whilst he was dozing off and dug through it for a moment or so before producing a very crumpled ball of paper which she smoothed out against her knee before holding it up for him to see.

It was the letter he’d written to Autumn the night he left for Med-Tek, it looked as though it had been read, scrunched up, read and scrunched up over and over again. The mere sight of it made his stomach bunch up in knots and guilt began to invade his thoughts once again, but Autumn was pointing to the end of the letter, which he’d signed as _’RJ MacCready.’_ The penny dropped.

”Oh, right,” He mumbled as she set the letter aside and raised her brows at him, eagerly awaiting an answer. “It’s not that exciting, really. My name is Robert Joseph MacCready. Bit of a mouthful, isn’t it?” He explained simply. It wasn’t exactly some huge convoluted secret, it was just far more convenient for him to go by his surname alone, particularly if he wanted to keep things completely impersonal between himself and his employer, something that he seemed to be incapable of doing with Autumn.

A satisfied smirk crept into the corner of her mouth and she nodded slowly at him, she reached out to take the paper back and scrawled a hasty reply under her initial question before handing it back.

_”I really like that. :)”_

MacCready was pretty glad for the darkness the storm outside caused, it meant that she couldn’t see the way his whole entire face turned beet red. He’d never been a huge fan of his name and couldn’t fathom what the hell his parents might have been thinking when they named him (he couldn’t even be sure that they’d named him at all seeing as the earliest memories of his childhood were of him already in Little Lamplight), but something about knowing that Autumn liked it made him feel just a tiny bit less resentful of it.

”Well, what about you? Got any names other that Autumn? Or are you gonna tell me that they didn’t have last names back then?” He asked a little too brashly in an attempt to hide his growing embarrassment.

Fortunately, if Autumn noticed his floundering, she decided not to show it and again took the paper back. She crossed out the lines she’d already written and scribbled down her answer, her eyes narrowed severely in concentration as she squinted through the ever growing darkness, but not quite enough to hide the tint of green that seemed to glow brighter each time lightening illuminated the room. MacCready was so transfixed by them that he didn’t notice her handing the note back until she practically had to thrust it in his face.

”Sorry.” He muttered sheepishly as he tore his eyes away from hers and back to the paper in his hands.

 _Of course we had last names, dummy! It was a different time, not a different planet!_  
_My full name is Autumn Leigh Hunter. I was named after my mom, her name was Leigh too._

He repeated the name quietly to himself, testing the way the words felt on his tongue, the way they rolled easily off of it like running water.

”It suits you.”

She smiled at him and nodded in thanks, pulling yet another scrap of paper from her bag to begin writing a new message.

They continued communicating that way for a good while, most of it was just fun banter like _“Do you think Preston’ll kill me for getting myself hurt when I promised him I wouldn’t?”_ to which MacCready replied: “If anything, he’s more likely to kill me for letting you out of my sight.” and some of it was of a more serious nature, like the time Autumn had spent in the Glowing Sea while he’d been... away.

In total, she and Nick had spent about two weeks searching for this Institute deserter, no easy feat given all of the dangers out there in the Glowing Sea, coupled with the sheer size of the area in general, but they eventually succeeded in finding Doctor Virgil and from him learned that in order to get into the institute they would need to kill a courser and remove his chip _(“Sure, kill a courser, piece of cake!”_ MacCready chimed in cynically when he read that particular paragraph.).

Still, Autumn didn’t seem to be deterred one bit and wrote about how, as soon as they’d sent the cure to Duncan, she was itching to get started in searching for this courser, and although he couldn’t help but admire her enthusiasm, MacCready had the distinct feeling that she had no real clue just how dangerous these guys could be when the closest she’d ever come to fighting one was back in Fort Hagen when they’d come face to face with their older, less intelligent brethren, and the sight of her still red, burned hand made him feel sick with worry at what was to come.

It was pretty late by the time the storm subsided and they’d been talking back and forth (well, technically MacCready was the only one doing any talking) by the light of Autumn’s pip-boy for hours. He’d been waiting for her to write down the answer to the question “What the heck is a tomato?” when he realised she was taking a hell of a long time to answer, and when he looked up it was to see that she’d fallen asleep in the middle of writing, her chin lolling comically against her chest. MacCready stifled a laugh into his fist in fear of waking her up and reached over to dim the light on her pip-boy. As he did, he took a careful look at her face in the soft glow and suddenly felt as though he’d been punched in the gut.

He’d seen her asleep plenty of times before, it’s not as though it were anything new to him, but for some reason he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from her face. It was as though he was seeing her for the first time all over again, but instead of pallid, bruised skin and a skeletal frame he saw white porcelain, framed by grass-green eyes and firey embers. Slender features that he wanted to hold and protect, and not just because she’d paid him to do so all that time ago.

He cared about her. More than he was willing to admit aloud and far more than he thought was acceptable given her current situation.

_She’s just lost her husband and here I am crushing on her, what an ass!_

He supposed it wasn’t wholly surprising, she was a beautiful woman and his first companion in a very long time, it was only natural that he would begin to have these... _feelings_ towards her. He wondered if she... no, there was no way in hell she could possibly feel the same way about him, and he sure as hell couldn’t tell her how he really felt. What if she laughed at him? What if he scared her off?

No. He wouldn’t say a word, she had more than enough on her plate right now without her mercenary making things even more difficult, it was just a stupid little crush after all, nothing more. He’d take himself somewhere private when they were back in Sanctuary, get it out of his system once, maybe twice, then he would continue on as he had before, like they were nothing more than a couple of loose friends.

That’s what his head was telling him to do anyway, the sensible, least painful option. But his treacherous heart, the one that refused to allow him to look away from Autumn’s face as she slept on peacefully, oblivious to his inner turmoil, kept urging him to ride this high just a little longer in hopes that something, _anything_ might happen between them.

He always was a glutton for punishment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m alive!
> 
> Sorry this one took so long to get out, I had the chapter written but then decided that I absolutely _hated_ half of it so I re-did most of it, I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As always, all of your views, kudos, comments etc are hugely appreciated and I thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Follow me on my [Tumblr](https://empty-vault.tumblr.com) if you want to chat or just enjoy a whole lot of Fallout shitposting.


	16. - Author’s note: I’m alive! -

Well, this has been a lengthy hiatus...

I’m very sorry for abandoning the story for such a long time guys. I hit such a creative slump, wrote out and deleted the next chapter several dozen times, had a lot of issues with my confidence as far as writing the story was concerned etc etc.

But I’m happy to say that I’m back and working on the next chapter! It won’t be much as I’m still feeling my way back into the story, but I hope you all enjoy it regardless and I’m excited to get back into things.

Watch this space!


	17. A stab in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, as I also like to call this chapter: ‘Am I rambling? I hope I’m not rambling.’

Rain was still falling heavily when Autumn woke up the next morning. She watched it bounce off the empty window frame with shuttered eyes and breathed in deeply the sweet smell of petrichor that filled up the room, trying to figure out at what point last night she fell asleep, but her memories all seemed so fuzzy. She remembered her and MacCready communicating via her handwritten notes for most of the night, but very little in between. Except black spots, there was an awful lot of black spots.

She reached up and trailed her fingers briefly over the welt in her throat, as though confirming that part of her memory was real, before snatching her hand back with a grimace. The deep groove felt so unnatural, she dreaded to think of just how much worse it looked.

 _It’s still probably a damn sight better than how I feel._ She thought bitterly as she rolled on to her back and sat upright, gasping raggedly as the movement aggravated her neck. She looked around the room slowly, trying to figure out if this might have once been her childhood bedroom, and noticed the chair that MacCready had occupied last night was empty, his bag sat on top of it with a note attached:

_“Back soon. Try not to get yourself in trouble.”_

Autumn huffed, ( _Patronising jerk._ ) and swung her legs over the side of the bed, wondering how long he’d been gone and whether or not she should get ready and go searching for him when she was distracted by her foot colliding with something heavy on the floor. She leaned over and picked up the object: An old book.

A very familiar old book.

Mouth suddenly dry and fingers quivering slightly, she turned it over in her hands and began flipping through its pages. It was her parents family photo album, largely damaged in places and many of the pictures inside burnt and mangled beyond recognition. So many precious memories that she could never recover, like almost everything about her old life.

However, there we’re a handful of photos within the album that had survived the last two hundred years, and a disbelieving smile spread over Autumn’s face for each one she found: birthday’s, picnics, even a photo of the family dog! She breathed a small laugh as she continued through the book, never having dreamt that something so valuable could have survived the years hidden away in the ruins of this little house.

She flipped excitedly to the last page and her smile faltered somewhat when she took in the final photo, it’s accompanying caption written in her mother’s hand:

_’Autumn with our first grandson, Shaun. April 14th ‘77’_

She could just barely see her son’s tiny face, fast asleep and swaddled beneath a blue knitted blanket with a tuft of deep red hair on the crown of his head. _”A little cherub”_ was what her mother had called him as she snapped the photo while her father by her bedside nodded his agreement, and she was right. He had the sweetest temperament, hardly ever cried or made a fuss, and always had a smile for everyone which just made him that much more easy to love. He was perfect.

_I hope this world hasn’t changed him too much._

Autumn took a look at herself in the photo and cringed inwardly. She supposed by post-war standards she looked great, but by pre-war standards she was downright ghastly. She was white as a sheet, her hair unwashed and scraped back, wearing a hideous hospital gown with yesterday’s mascara still smudged under her eyes. Seventeen hours was an awfully long time to be in labour, with very little sleep in between.

 _Put to shame by a newborn, how embarrassing._ She mused with a smirk, trying to remember what it was like to hold such a tiny child in her arms. This book probably weighed about as much as Shaun did back then, if she just held it the right way then maybe-

“I found that yesterday.”

Autumn almost jumped clean off the bed. The album slipped out of her hands and landed back on the floor at her feet with a loud _thud,_ and she looked up with wide eyes at the source of the sudden voice to find MacCready stood in the doorway, pursing his lips in an effort not to laugh out loud at her shock.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He mumbled sheepishly, removing his damp hat and wiping the side of his face with his sleeve. In fact, his duster was wet too. Where had he been? “How’re you feeling?”

Autumn shrugged a shoulder and removed the hand that she had clamped over her heart in fear, waving it back and forth in a way that was meant to read “so-so.” She felt awful, of course; her head was sore, she was tired, she couldn’t speak more than a whisper and that damn radiation poisoning was still giving her double vision whenever she stood up too quickly. But she wasnt about to sit here and write that all down on a piece of paper while MacCready stared at her with those large, pitying eyes.

 _“You didn’t mind those blue eyes staring at you so much when you were writing love notes back and forth last night, did you?”_ A slightly malignant voice in her head said.

She banished that sudden goading voice with a subtle shake of her head and nodded pointedly towards MacCready’s sodden clothes in an attempt to change the conversation, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on her sudden unease.

And luckily, he didn’t. He looked down at himself and seemed to understand the meaning behind her gesture. “Oh, I went out to scout the area before we leave in case anything dangerous rocked up during the night. I don’t think you’re really in much of a position to be fighting right now and I don’t wanna risk you... um, well anyway, I also caught us breakfast.”

Autumn avoided looking at the mutated squirrels that MacCready was now holding aloft by the tail and likewise did her best to ignore the rising bile in her throat. Instead, she found herself immensely interested in the way his cheeks cycled through various shades of pink, intrigued by his wording.

What exactly did he not want her to risk? Did he seriously think she couldn’t handle herself out there after one near fatal experience?

Or was this his way of saying he cared about her wellbeing beyond the boundaries of the typical employer/employee relationship that they’d shared up until now? After all, It was fair to say that they had grown close during their travels together, so much so that they could hardly consider their relationship entirely professional these days; certainly not when you consider the fact that they had both risked life and limb for one another on multiple occasions. Surely there had to be a limit on how many times you could throw yourself in harms way for someone and remain impartial?

Still, she never imagined him going to such lengths to make sure she was protected.

Autumn’s mind wandered back to the hazy memory she had of MacCready kneeling at her side when he found her unconscious in the street, how he cradled her head and held her hand tightly in his own. He made her feel safe, made the fear that wracked her body disappear with a few comforting words and stayed by her side the whole night. Was this sort of behaviour typical of a supposed cold blooded killer like him? Was it in fact possible that he-

_No. don’t be so ridiculous!_

_“C’mon,”_ The snide voice piped up again. _“Is it really all that far fetched?”_

“So,” He interjected on her tumultuous thoughts as he stepped forward and scooped up the photo album from the floor. “Kind of a stab in the dark, but did your family, you know, live here or something?”

She smiled sadly and nodded, taking the book from his hand and flipping through it to a picture of her as a little girl, sat on her fathers shoulders while her mother stood laughing alongside them and showed it to MacCready.

“Your parents?” He guessed, looking down at his feet when she nodded affirmatively. There was a moment’s pause where she was almost certain he was about to make some sarcastic quip, before: “I’m so sorry, Autumn. If I knew, I never would have dragged you out here, this must be the last place you wanted to see.”

Autumn frowned up at him, horrified, and turned towards the nightstand; reaching for one of the scraps of paper she’d been using to write messages on last night. She couldn’t not say something to that, couldn’t allow him to carry that guilt.

She scribbled her reply hastily and all but threw it in his face in her eagerness:

_Even if I knew, I would have come. It was worth it to save Duncan._

MacCready read the note and looked back at her with a pained expression.

“Autumn... I dunno what to say to that.”

She gestured for him to hand her back the paper and scrawled another message underneath the first:

_Say I don’t have to eat squirrel for breakfast and we’re even. :)_

That seemed to make him feel better. He still had a troubled look in his eyes and a distinctive crease between his brows, but his face quickly broke into a wide grin and he chuckled as he scrunched the paper up into a ball and threw it at Autumn’s head before leaving the room with his kill. “Nice try. But Preston’s already gonna kill me when he sees the state of you, I don’t wanna imagine what else he’ll do if he finds out I didn’t feed you either.” He grinned, slinging the squirrels over his shoulder (Autumn visibly blanched) and striding out of the room.

 _Well, it was worth a try._ She thought sourly as she retrieved her bag from the floor and slid the photo album safely inside, beaming from ear to ear at the thought that she would at least now be able to show Shaun a little piece of where he came from once he was home.

 

* * *

 

Autumn never thought she’d see the day when she grew tired of rainfall. She’d always be the first to insist on a walk whenever the heavens opened, or otherwise delighted in sitting at the window with a mug of coffee watching the droplets bounce off the ground outside, there was just something extraordinarily calming and cleansing about it all. However, three straight weeks of heavy, unrelenting rain was seriously pushing her love and appreciation to its limits.

Though there was one plus side to the seemingly never ending downpour: Sanctuary sure was peaceful for a change. Instead of the usual din of folks going about their business outside in the sun, chattering and gossiping amongst themselves, most of the settlers opted to stay indoors where it was warm and dry, and those that were forced to work out in the rain kept their heads down and their mouths firmly shut in an effort to finish the days chores quicker and join the others inside. Even the sound of Preston’s usually cheerful whistling seemed far less enthusiastic when he’d been patrolling in soaked clothes for the last two hours.

Autumn didn’t mind the peace and quiet one bit. In fact, if it meant that she could walk through the street without being repeatedly stopped and asked in high-pitched, babyfied voices how she was feeling, she would happily live out the rest of her days in the rain.

In the weeks since she and MacCready had returned from Cambridge, her voice had mercifully returned, breaking here and there only when she raised her voice too loudly or when the cadence of her speech rose just a little too high; although Charlotte insisted that with regular doses of med-x and a bit of hubflower tea on the side, her voice would be back to normal before the end of the month with no lasting damage. Even the mark on her throat had faded dramatically, leaving only a faint pink line and a smattering of yellow bruises which she often covered up with her scarf to avoid further looks whenever she went outside.

Her rainy walk today took her several times around the perimeter of Sanctuary, it wasn’t a very big settlement and you could do a full circuit of it in as little as ten minutes. She’d done four before she finally came to rest at the crumbling wall that overlooked the shallow ravine below, where she struck up a cigarette and scanned the horizon, watching for any sign of a tall man in a tan duster.

MacCready had stayed with her for a few days after their return to make sure she was alright, at least until she began to croak out her first words, before leaving for Goodneighbor with Duncan’s cure. Autumn had intended to accompany him, but her decision had been firmly vetoed by Preston.

“Look, General, you need to rest up. If you don’t give your body some time to heal then sooner or later it’s going to catch up with you in a bad way.” He warned ominously when she tried arguing her case, and MacCready proved to be no help either when she turned to him for back up.

“He’s right, Autumn. You’re no good to anyone dead. Besides, I’m faster on my own, I’ll be back before you know it, I swear.”

_Pfft, the first time they agree on anything, and it works against me. Figures._

So here she was, bored out of her skull, waiting around like a good little girl for her body to hurry up and heal itself, cursing under her breath every time she felt a twinge of pain in her throat or whenever her voice broke mid-sentence. Meanwhile, MacCready was out there somewhere all by himself.

And it had been more than two weeks since he left Sanctuary. She knew that Goodneighbor was a hell of a walk, and he would likely stop over and rest there for a night or two, but he should have been back long before now and she was starting to worry despite her best efforts.

_He probably just got caught up somewhere. Maybe Hancock dragged him out on some wild bender and he’s still sleeping off his hangover? He’s fine. He just is._

The sudden press of a cold wet nose against her hand startled Autumn back to reality, and she looked down to see Dogmeat stood beside her, wagging his tail happily.

“Hey buddy!” She beamed, flicking her cigarette over the wall and dropping to her knees to bury her hands in the large dog’s wet fur and rub him affectionately. Dogmeat was the first friendly creature she met after leaving Vault 111, and had helped lead her to Preston and his group in nearby Concord, saving their lives as a direct result.

“What’re you doing out here in all this nasty rain, huh boy? You’ll get all soggy!” She cooed as the dog yipped and nibbled playfully at her fingers.

“He’s helping me find you.” Replied an airy voice in front of her.

Autumn jumped at the sudden appearance of Mama Murphy, who was practically soaked through to the bone. Her cardigan clung to her tiny frame and her slippers were covered in mud, but those pale, wide eyes of hers were extremely alert and staring down at Autumn anxiously, wringing her hands together.

“Mama Murphy, what’s wrong? You’ll catch your death out here if you don’t wrap up.” She gawked, unravelling her scarf quickly from around her neck as she stood up straight and draping it over Mama Murphy’s head in an attempt to keep her dry, doing her best to ignore the sparing glance that she shot up at her marked throat in the process.

“I had to find you, kid. The sight... just showed me somethin’, somethin’ awful that you need to know.” The small woman said, capturing Autumn’s hand within hers and squeezing it tightly. She seemed very upset.

Autumn bit back the sigh that threatened to escape her lips. For as long as she’d known Mama Murphy she’d been a staunch chem addict, you name it she’d tried it. Preston had tried to convince her to give them up tirelessly for years, and even Autumn had tried her luck in recent months, yet the sweet but stubborn woman just couldn’t bring herself to give up on the ‘sight’ she claimed the chems gave her, visions of the future that had aided herself and the Minutemen in the past. Autumn might have found the idea laughable had she not witnessed several of these visions come true herself.

So if Mama Murphy said she’d seen something awful, shouldn’t she at least hear her out? Autumn supposed it couldn’t hurt, she’d never led them wrong yet.

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home and you can tell me what it is you saw.” She said kindly, linking arms with Mama Murphy and whistling for Dogmeat to follow.

For a few moments neither one of them said a word, the steadily pouring rain the only sound to break the uneasy silence, and Autumn was considering whether or not she should gently prompt Mama Murphy when she suddenly spoke up:

“They’re going to come for you... men in green... go with them quietly and no one will get hurt... discard the bands and feel for broken glass... they’re looking for a way in, they’ll try to break you, but you’re strong... your path will point you forward, but you need to walk backwards when the walls start to shake, then when the fighting has died down he’ll finally confess.”

Autumn glanced over at Mama Murphy’s glassy expression out the corner of her eyes, then swiftly moved her attention back to the ground ahead of her; her jaw set tight and her lips pressed together uncomfortably as she tried to process what she’d just been told whilst maintaining a level head.

“...Who are they, these men in green? What exactly are they looking for a way into?” She asked eventually in a high-pitched voice. She felt Mama Murphy shrug her shoulders beside her and heard her sigh tiredly.

”I dunno, kid. The sight doesn’t always give me straight answers, but whoever they are, they’re dangerous.” She must have caught Autumn’s worried grimace, because she gave her arm a gentle squeeze and added: “I’m not sayin’ all this to scare you, ya know. I’m sayin it because it’s what the sight wants; it _wants_ you to fight your way outta this, otherwise it wouldn’t have shown me anythin’ at all.”

Autumn nodded once and shot her what she hoped was an appreciative smile, but it felt as though all the muscles of her face were completely paralysed with fear, her heart was constricting tightly against her ribs and her stomach was beginning to churn and writhe. Just what the hell was she supposed to do with all this information? What good was it to her if she had no way of finding out who or what was after her, or at the very least when they would attack?

”Well, I... thank you for telling me this Mama Murphy, I know you’ve told me all you can. I guess I’ll just... watch my back.” She mumbled, releasing the older woman’s arms as they arrived at her bunkhouse. Mama Murphy handed Autumn back her scarf, her hand lingering over hers for a moment.

“I know you will, but please Autumn; try not to let this information consume you. It’ll happen when it happens, and all you need to know is that the sight has given you all the tools you need to get through it.”

Autumn nodded again stiffly and released her hand to begin walking away, but not before Mama Murphy spoke up once more.

”That mercenary friend of yours, keep him close. I’ve got a feelin’ the sight has plans for him as much as it does you.”

And with that, she turned away and headed inside with Dogmeat at her heels, leaving Autumn to begin storming back to her house as fast as her legs would go, her head bowed low so that no one could see her obvious distress. She heard Preston call out something to her as she passed, but ignored him, not stopping or looking up until she was safely inside with the door firmly shut and the drapes closed; only then did she let out the panicked breath that she’d seemed to be holding in since Mama Murphy first explained her vision.

It hadn’t just frightened her, it disturbed her, deeply. The thought that she was supposed to just sit back and wait for some unknown being to come and snatch her away when she least expected it was unlike any feeling she’d ever experienced before: this was true helplessness, and it made her feel completely lost and nauseous.

She stumbled over to the kitchen area and grabbed the first bottle of alcohol she could see, pouring herself a generous glass in the hopes that it would calm her frayed nerves as another thought crossed her mind: just how the hell was she supposed to search for her son _and_ lead the Minutemen if she was constantly looking over her shoulder for shadows?

What if she was taken tomorrow? She might never get the chance to save her son.

A dry sob escaped her lips as she pictured the Shaun she saw in Kellogg’s memories, ten years old and beautiful and currently far beyond her reach. Who would look for him if she was gone?

_I can’t fail them again._

Autumn downed the glass of whiskey in her hand to try and distract from the tears that were now spilling down her cheeks and quickly refilled it to the brim, pulling a face when she heard a loud knock at the door. Preston must have followed her home.

”Not now!” She croaked at the door, leaning over the kitchen counter and wiping furiously at her eyes, no one in Sanctuary needed to see their precious General in this state and she was in no position to be acting the part right now. There was a moment’s peace before the person outside knocked again, this time more insistently. Now Autumn was just getting angry.

”Damn it, piss off!” She snapped, slamming the glass down on the bench after taking another deep drink. It was almost empty again, and if she were thinking clearly right now she might have been alarmed at how quickly she’d just polished off two glasses of Tennessee whiskey, but right now it seemed to be the only thing holding her together.

Another silence followed, and Autumn thought for a moment that whoever was outside had finally taken the hint and left her alone when she heard a familiar voice call out from behind the door:

”Autumn? C’mon, don’t leave me out here in the rain!”

MacCready had returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter completely fucking broke me mentally! I must have rewrote it at least half a dozen times as I just couldn’t get it to work the way I wanted and simply gave up for a long time. It’s still not perfect and there’s a lot of filler whilst I gear up for the next few chapters, but I’m just thrilled that I managed to get something out there for you guys who have been so patient.
> 
> I hope it’s at least a shade enjoyable! :D


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